King of the Hill

From quite a time, I was a loyal viewer of King of the Hill. Then, after it left the air, it (continued) aired as reruns on syndicated channels. 

I'll be posting my list of favorite episodes but first I would like to discuss its revival while weaving the original run in. Before I continue, here's the lowdown: the series follow Hank Hill and his family, wife Peggy and son Bobby. He worked (now retired) as a propane and propane accessories salesman; Peggy is a retired school substitute teacher, and Bobby was a student, now chef. There were also his friends: Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer. Boomhauer was a single man who dated left, right, and center, and now has a live in girlfriend with a son, Luke Jr. Bill was a barber for the Army, divorced from Lenore, and has a crush on Peggy. Dale is an exterminator, married to former weather/news anchor now real estate sales Nancy and a son Joseph .... except Joseph isn't his .... he's the biological son of Native American John Redcorn. John Redcorn and Nancy had a very long affair that was known to neighbors but not Dale, who, ironically is a conspiracy theorist while blind and oblivious to the fact that Joseph isn't his son. Nancy did break up with John Redcorn to be faithful to Dale; but that didn't last as they eventually resumed their affair - or at least that's what implied. However, I do have my doubts on that. In the earlier seasons when Nancy and John Redcorn were deep into their 14 year affair, Nancy was rather disgusted by Dale in a sexual way. As she said in an episode that Peggy realized the truth, Nancy loved Dale in the "lights on" sort of way. When we get to season 4's Nancy's Boys where Nancy realized she had it good with Dale. So, in the revival, when Nancy and John Redcorn arrived, Nancy gave Dale a juicy smooch and was rather affectionate with her husband... When she was having an affair, Nancy was the opposite. So, I am iffy on this now. 

while the Hill family were living in Saudi Arabia. There's also Laotian neighbors next door, Khan and Minh (now divorced) with a daughter, Connie, who has an on-and-off relationship with Bobby. On the original series, Hank worked at Strickland Propane but (after the series originally ended) left for another position in Saudi Arabia with a good retirement plan. 

After the series ended, some prominent voice actors have passed away: Brittany Murphy (Luanne, Peggy's niece who lived in after her trailer was knocked over and was literally abandoned by her parents despite being a young college adult), Tom Petty (Luanne's husband), Dennis Burkley (Principal Moss).... When the revival news happened, the original voices signed on: Mike Judge, Kathy Najimy, Pamela Adlon, Johnny Hardwick, Stephen Root, Toby Huss, Lauren Tom, Ashley Gardner, and Jonathan Joss. 

Unfortunately, several months after the announcement of the King of the Hill revival, Johnny Hardwick passed away, found in August of 2023. Police came to his house on a welfare check and found him dead in the bathtub - he was already too decomposed that they don't know the cause of death (although there's talk he had throat cancer but wouldn't that be on his autopsy? The cause was undetermined). In the revival, you can tell his voice does sound different, slower, dimmer than the original run - sure it's years passed - they aged all characters and voices do alter a bit and because Johnny was a smoker like Dale is, it affected his voice... Honestly there were moments in episodes 1-7 I thought it was mostly Toby's work than Johnny as a fill in for any changes before he fully took over after episode 7. Yes, Toby did some fill ins for Johnny, but it was indeed Johnny, sadly we are listening to a dying man.... Anyway, luckily, Johnny did manage to record 6 out of 10 episodes of the revival before being replaced by Toby. Johnny was not only a voice actor (of Dale), but also producer and writer for the show. In those 7 episodes I am glad Johnny got to be Dale, saying Wingo!, Sha-sha-sha!, had a moment with Joseph, Nancy, being an eccentric exterminator, paired up with Bill over spying on Hank during his conspiracy theory that Saudi Arabia made Hank into a spy and liking soccer, and, in his last fully recorded episode, paired up with Peggy and her own shenanigans. 

Another loss was this year (2025) with Jonathan Joss, who voiced John Redcorn. He was recently killed in a hate crime by a neighbor who was against gay community. His home was loss in arson a few months before his death - such a tragedy.

Here are my top 50 favorite episodes of King of the Hill (in no particular order, only listed by memory):

1. Propane Boom II: Death of a Propane Salesman

a follow up opener from the previous season finale episode. The aftermath from the Mega-Lo Mart explosion that killed Luanne's boyfriend Buckley. A few other significance were Luanne becoming bald after losing her hair due to the explosion and Hank's PTSD from being around his flammable beloved Propane. 

2. A Firefighting We Will Go

Too many hilarious things from this one! Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer were Firemen volunteers and were squabbling away, getting into trouble because of it. They offered their own version of events: Dale with long hair, tall, and muscular; Bill overweight and eating; Boomhauer talking very clearly while everyone else spoke gibberish as he normally would. Chet's funeral they acted as pallbearers but ended up tripping into the grave.... too, too funny! 

3. The Wedding of Bobby Hill

Luanne and Bobby, despite being cousins, acted like siblings in this episode, with pranks that went too far enough for Hank and Peggy to get involved to give them a taste of their own medicine.

4. Sleight of Hank

The gang went to a magic show for Nancy's birthday party with Peggy as a volunteer. assistant where she got into a box and magically disappeared, returning to her seat. At first Hank was unimpressed and not interested, fake fake fake.... until Peggy as magic trick. He then became obsessed with trying to know how that magic trick did its trick.

5. Naked Ambition

One of the best! It was definitely an ensemble episode where just about everyone had their part. During a neighbor picnic outing at a lake, Bobby accidentally sees Luanne naked (ended up twice) much to Joseph's envy. Boomhauer fell asleep while relaxing on a tube and floated through the rivers and canals of Texas. When he woke up and was disoriented, Boomhauer found himself in an insane asylum. He called Dale, who snuck in as a mental patient himself to get Boomhauer out. That didn't work well, so they called Bill and neither wanted to tell Hank. Bill instead volunteered to admit himself and fitted in. Eventually Hank got wind of it after their escape attempt failed. 

6. Nancy's Boys

Nancy breaks up with John Redcorn to be a more dedicated wife to Dale.

7. Twas the Nut Before Christmas

This was a great Bill episode where he was trying to impress a single mother of two that got disgusted and worried about him leaving the Christmas decorations up for months. He then becomes a surrogate dad to this young adult drifter. I think Bill really wanted to be a father to somebody.

8. Hank and the Great Glass Elevator

Hank embarrassed himself over mooning (a prank by the fellows) on a see through glass elevator, and Governor Ann Richards saw it. Bill charms and dated the Governor. Meanwhile Peggy and Bobby secretly enjoyed charcoal grilled burgers.

9. The Exterminator

After being exposed to his bug extermination potion for many a year, Dale had to (temporary) step down and get a normal 9-to-5 job. Lisa Kudrow guest stars as Dale's boss.

10. Bobby Goes Nuts

That's my purse, I don't know you! *kick right in the groin*. Enough said.

11. Lupe's Revenge

The scene in Mexican court where Peggy proves she doesn't know or speak Spanish correctly as she thought she does.... Classic! 

12. Of Mice and Little Green Men

A father and son episode of Dale and Joseph. Dale knew full well that Joseph isn't his biological son - but still in denial that its John Redcorn. Instead, Dale believed it was an alien. However, it only proves that Dale and Joseph are tightly bonded as father and son, and Joseph concluded that the aliens extracted Dale's DNA and fertilized into Nancy, therefore Joseph is his "biological" son.

Let me just say that, yes, John Redcorn was obviously Joseph's biological father and always a long running joke. That being said, since the moment of birth, Dale was always there for Joseph: tackling the Father duties and created a bond. Meanwhile, Joseph absorbed Dale into his persona; Joseph sees  himself as a white man, and John Redcorn always had a hard time getting through to Joseph while Dale could. In the revival, John Redcorn is at the point of calling Joseph "Young Gribble" (while still yearning a father's on bond). 

13. Beer and Loathing

Peggy gets a job in Alamo Beer and was privy to their secrets, bonded by secrecy contract. Hank wanted to know why getting sick from a tainted beer but Peggy couldn't tell. Instead, she hatched a grand scheme of revenge on the board responsible.

14. Goodbye Normal Jeans

Mother vs. son type episode where Peggy gets jealous of Bobby taking an interest in cooking after taking Home Economics.

15. The Texas Skillsaw Massacre

Due to Dale's underground tunnel, the floor in the Hill residence collapsed. The Hill family had to stay with Dale and Nancy. Wouldn't take long for Dale to get on Hank's nerves - a lawsuit and restraining order happened. 

16. Be True to Your Fool

The men got lice - thanks to Bill. And Peggy discovered a tattoo on Hank's head that he got one drunken night for Bill when he was deporting with the Army.

17. Night and Deity

The tables have turned when Dale becomes admittedly attracted to a female exterminator and Nancy gets jealous, fearing a result happened to her with John Redcorn. However, Dale never cheated.

18. Maid in Arlen

Bill falls for Kahn's mother.

 

19. The Incredible Hank

Peggy snuck in testosterone pills in Hank's food, giving him a burst of energy until he gets too aggressive for everyone.

20. Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane

Hank and Bobby were living it up as truckers while delivering furniture to his mother in Arizona. Despite not being invited, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer stowaway for the ride. Meanwhile Peggy and Luanne co-wrote a Christmas song while Nancy didn't know where her husband was.

21. My Hair Lady

Luanne and Bill teamed up to cut hair; Bill had to pretend to be gay.

22. Gone with the Windstorm

Nancy was feeling the heat of being an older news anchor when Luanne filled in as weather girl. The news station began to push Nancy away until she, Dale, and Peggy stole a news van to cover the fires. 

23. It Ain't Over 'til the Fat Neighbor Sings

Bill joined in on a singing choir group, a cappella kind. It took a good chunk of his time of missing work and not being in the alley as much. 

24. Hank's on Board

Dale and Boomhauer tried to sneak off on a fishing trip but were caught. Hank thought Dale and Boomhauer were avoiding Bill, but it turned out to be Hank. Peggy encouraged Hank to loosen up and have fun. Sure enough, without his bossy parental leadership, chaos ensued.

25. Church Hopping

Hank decided to change churches after being upset by a new family taking over their regular pew. However, their brand new church (bigger and fancier) demanded their time - not just service, but any fixings to their problems. Eventually Hank had enough (and Peggy drove the church administration crazy) and went back to his old church.

26. Hank Gets Dusted

Hank's cousin Dusty Hill comes to visit with his band ZZ Top. Chaos and temper flies around in hilarity. My favorite part is where Dusty was spinning Bobby around like a guitar - only in cartoon world you can do that!

27. The Passion of Dauterive

After a near death experience when his roof collapsed on his bed (Bill was sleeping on the couch), he spent time in church and got into a romantic relationship with Reverend Stroup.

28. Grand Theft Arlen

Hank gets drawn into the video game world.

29. Peggy's Gone to Pots

Peggy gets sucked into a ponzie scheme while Dale gets confronted (and cowardly runs away from) the real Rusty Shackleford). Peggy and Dale soon teamed up to get rid of their problems. 

30. Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Nancy's hair is falling easily due to hereditary. The only way to keep her hair would've been rekindling her affair with John Redcorn. Or get a wig. Nancy seriously reconsider to rekindling as Dale was going through a mind trip of his own. However, Dale unknowingly stopped Nancy's reconsideration wooing her that he only wanted to be with her when the World comes to the end. Nancy ended up getting a wig.

31. Bill, Bulk and the Body Buddies

Bill gets exercising equipment and became his street's neighborhood gym so he could be fit for the Army's physical. However, Bill got swept away by heavy lifting with these bulky men and freaked out the neighbors.

32. Four Wave Intersection

It's Summer, the kids were forced out from a water park by young adults and Bill enjoyed the attention of being a highway waver.

33. The Minh Who Knew Too Much

Minh joins Dale's gun club to practice skeet shooting in order to join the Nine Rivers Club that she and Kahn have been desperately trying to join since they moved to town. However, deep down, Minh bonded with the gun club rednecks and it's a rare episode of Minh and Dale teaming up together in an episode.

34. Trans-Fascism

After complaints from outsiders about trans fat in foods, a ban was issued. However, Buck, with his restaurant Sugarfoot's shut down for their mostly fried foods menu, enlisted a food truck to secretly serve the banned products around town.

35. Untitled Blake McCormick Project/Three Men and a Bastard

Bill got a new girlfriend with two children - one of whom caught Dale's attention. Kate's mannerisms and facial features reminded him so much of Joseph and he did a DNA test, discovering that Joseph and Kate are biological brother and sister - therefore his daughter .... Well, John Redcorn's daughter. 

36. Strangeness on a Train

Peggy, who has a history of birthdays gone wrong, had a mystery whodunit back in the 1970s on a train. Sounds exciting, right? Well, Luanne was chosen to be part of the cast but quickly spoiled the answer.... Whoops, party ruined and they were stuck on a train until eventually being kicked out. They came across a rundown tough bar who welcomed them in. It's worth mentioning that Hank and Peggy did it on the train; their afterglow was ruined when Kahn discovered feet marks on the mirror.

37. It Came from the Garage

Apparently Hank is afraid of bats.

38. Dia-BILL-ic Shock

A rather arrogant Doctor told Bill that he's in danger with diabetes and could very well lose his legs, get a wheelchair. Bill pretty much gave up on life, typical, and let it be bygones. But Bill came across a man in a wheelchair who played a rough game of rugby and refused to let his handicap get in the way. Bill got inspired until he got up and realized his blood sugar was normal. Probably one of the few episodes where Dale is nice to Bill, not insulting him.

39. Square-Footed Monster

After a neighbor passed away, a relative "hired" Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer to fix up her house to sell. The seller turned out to be Ted Wassanasong, much to Kahn's delight. However, Ted had the house torn down and replaced it with a mansion, which was poorly built with cheap materials and overtook the property with no lawn. During a bad storm, the mansion had put both Bill's and Luanne's houses in danger, resulting self defense take down of the mansion. 

40. Lost in MySpace

The rise of social media, starting with MySpace, had Strickland Propane to step it up to keep with the times after seeing their rival gain their customers. Donna the accountant was in charge and got it over her head of power after Buck promoting her as Assistant Manager but Hank fired her. Donna took over the MySpace page as she knew the password and changed the look to bad, trying to take down Strickland. 

41. What Happens at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis Stays at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis

Buck and Hank go to a convention dedicated to propane where a special award would be given out. But, Buck found an illegitimate son who was just like him and they constantly partied, much to Hank's dismay.

42. Nancy Does Dallas

Nancy got offered a big deal news anchor job at Dallas only except she let the deceiving power to her ego and head until it backfired on her (being drunk at a parade and falling over). Although Dale was nuts in his own right, it was concluded that Nancy needed Dale more than Dale needed Nancy over their mental stability as Dale's schinenigans keep Nancy busy than to focus on her own schinenigans.

43. Serves Me Right for Giving General George S. Patton the Bathroom Key

Hank turns out to be an Executive of Cotton's Will and had to live out Cotton as last To Do List, including dumping his ashes in the toilet used by General George S. Patton. Meanwhile, Bill and Dale fight over Dale's beer can left on Bill's lawn - my favorite part of the show.

44. Bill Gathers Moss

After enjoying roommates on sitcoms, Bill decided to get a roommate himself. At the same time, it's discovered that Principle Moss (who grew up with Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer) was living at the elementary school after his wife kicked him out. The roommate situation didn't work out as Principal Moss charmed another roommate Bill wanted to move in and they got into questionable business of mocked designer brands. Eventually Bill decided having roommates aren't for him and embraced living alone.

45. To Sirloin with Love

Hank and Bobby bond over Bobby's love for steak, knowing what part is what. He joined a team to observe a carcass. Bobby was tempted to quit due to the up-tightness of the team but Hank wasn't pleased (until he eventually saw himself why Bobby wanted to quit).

46. The Beer Story

Hank and Bobby at first were to enter a beer tasting contest together but due to their differences, they ended up parting and entering on their own. I love the scenes of Dale being annoyed Peggy in the alley, Minh's joke being backfired (talking about beer in the alley), a wink & a nod of Nancy's affair with John Redcorn, and Dale and Joseph being father and son in their actions to sabotage the contest to tip to one's side. In remembrance to Tom Petty, they used his song Running Down the Dream. 

47. Keeping Up with Our Joneses

Bobby was caught with a cigarette and Hank forced him to smoke a whole pack. However, Hank and Peggy, who loved smoking in the past and gave it up around the time they had Bobby, also got sucked into it. During a bad thunderstorm and Luanne's determination to help Hank, Peggy, and Bobby to withdraw.

48. Any Given Hill-Day

Johnny Hardwick's last episode. Another Peggy-Dale team up in shenanigans over bringing the community together by setting up a little book nook of books she found at a yard sale.... Only except they had bed bugs in them and therefore people weren't pleased with Peggy.

49. No Hank Left Behind

All of Cotton's three sons were at the lawyer's office and Didi wants Hank to be a male influence for GH (Good Hank). Despite his objections, Hank relented. Meanwhile Peggy injured her knee and stayed with Bobby in Dallas to have a MRI. Peggy gets claustrophobic/panic attack.

50. King of the Ant Hill

Back in the first season, Hank was disappointed by Dale's bug killing chemicals affecting his beloved lawn. He 'fired' Dale and went another direction to care for his yard. Dale wasn't pleased so he sent his ants to destroy the new yard makeover.

My Favorite Friend

 I remember Friends being on, 1994-2004. Honestly I wasn't a very loyal viewer. I didn't really get into it until they were in mid-life. Then I watched it off and on until the last 2, 3 seasons. I remember my Aunt being a big dedicated fan. I definitely remember the hype of Jennifer Aniston's romance with Brad Pitt and Courteney Cox's romance with David Arquette being splashed over on every media magazine possible. It wasn't until after it ended when I became a 'dedicated' fan when I collected the entire run of seasons on DVD. I remember one particular birthday while there was a Hurricane (Jeanne) visiting and I spent the entire day watching a marathon of Friends. Chandler (played by Matthew Perry) was my favorite male Friend, Phoebe (played by Lisa Kudrow) was my favorite female Friend. I felt more relatable with Chandler, a female version of Chandler I sometimes felt. Especially the humor and fear of commitment (unlike Chandler, I wasn't in many romantic relationships, never been married - and I'm fine with it.... or maybe I am the female version of Matthew Perry? Minus the drug and alcohol addiction). Whatever relating it may be, I was definitely drawn to Chandler and Matthew. I definitely found Matthew to be a very handsome man, attractive. 

I wouldn't call myself a dedicated fan of Matthew's, though I did see Fools Rush In (my high school even played the movie on those "off" days; I remember one summer a teacher would have movie day once a week) and his guest appearance on Scrubs is one of my favorite Scrubs episodes (which he directed, including co-staring with his father, John Bennett Perry). I also watched The Kennedy's After Camelot just to watch Matthew - it turned out to be his final acting role before a series of drug addiction and health scares took its toll. I just recently binged into his version of The Odd Couple (too bad it only lasted three seasons, I enjoyed it; Thomas Lennon did a great Felix). I watched the Friends reunion with a dear friend of mine. Poor Matthew had just gotten his teeth yanked out due to their bad conditions and was replaced by fake teeth. The pain he must've felt - his face did look twisted in pain. Of course the criticism over his drug addiction was there, believing he was strung out. Luckily for Matthew, there were paparazzi photos of  him going to the Dentist to help back him up. The taping of Friends reunion happened almost a year after Covid (2021) and this was a done deal; Matthew had to muster all this strength to make it and pretend he was fine while his jaw/mouth was on fire. He did look happy to be there. Bless him.

In November of 2022, Matthew published his memoir. I remember him being on the cover of People magazine and buying it - he looked so good. Never would I ever thought we would have lost him almost a year later. I didn't buy his book when it came out. I did intend to, but, honestly, me going to a bookstore went from (past) going weekly to (present) every few months. I could've ordered online, sure, but usually I reserve that for vintage books that you can't find in a bookstore or the library. His memoir was the Best Seller, so Matthew enjoyed its success, making appearances and book tours (unfortunately not in my area). A year later, almost exactly to the date his memoir was published, it went back on the #1 Best Seller list - second year in a row ... unfortunately, he wasn't here to see a new popularity the second time around. For some reason, when a (especially beloved) celebrity dies, their work catalog gets popular again. 

Hearing the news of his death ... At first, it was almost like a shrug off, Oh well type. I was washing dishes. The news sunk in deeply afterwards, and the grief also went deep. The news was becoming more real by the second, I soon watched live TikToks of outside his home as it was happening - his body was still there. By 2 AM my time, I had to cut it off as I had to get up to go to work. I did debate to take a day off.... then I said nope, as I thought it would look ridiculous to take someone's death, someone I never met, seriously to take a day off. I pushed those days during that first week through - but I didn't hide my sadness. I was more quieter than usual, my students noticed my mood - some hugged me without snowing other than their teacher was very sad. I don't think I have felt this devastated since Robin Williams in 2014 where a celebrity death will just come to you and suddenly punch in the stomach, wounded enough not to eat much.

At this time, it's been over 6 months since Matthew passed away and he's been on my mind since. I'm starting to think he's craving his initials "MLP Here 4 Life" into my brain tissue. 

1969-2023

I Stand With Isabel

There's been something I have been wanting to share about Isabel Gillies THINK blog post regarding a meltdown over her former character, Kathy Stabler. I took my time not to write out my feelings immediately after she posted as I wanted time to think, let dust settle, and be sure of change. 

Last year, NBC announced they were spinning a new Law and Order spin off series through Special Victims Unit, called Law and Order: Organized Crime. The television show would star Christopher Meloni as Elliot Stabler returning back after 10 years after departing from SVU in 2011. Naturally, questions of what happened to Elliot during that time were asked (and answered on April 1, 2021), including what was the status of his marriage. There were assumptions that Elliot and Kathy got divorced - Christopher was clever enough to hide his left hand during location shots in between takes to leave us guessing. The synopsis of Organized Crime was Elliot returning to NYPD (after being an international liaison on their behalf in Rome) after a devastating loss. Naturally it became a guessing game. Would it be Kathy, his wife? If they're still together, or not? Would it be one of his five children? Would it be his mother? Although, clues were clear that it was going to be Kathy, my favorite recurring character, so, I braced myself after a moment of having my blood boil and knowing EO/Bensler shippers would throw a celebration as now Elliot and Olivia Benson (play by Mariska Hargitay) can finally get together. I have posted about this before some years back; short version of that story is that Kathy was not a favorite as she was the road block, keeping the love struck detectives apart. Kathy's only crime to be hated was being Mrs. Elliot Stabler. Obviously, I didn't feel that way. I loved Elliot and Kathy together, they had sweet moments, some passionate, some problems - yes - like any marriage. I also didn't see anything wrong with Kathy. She was nice, sweet, trying to live with a cop who is a workaholic. And having an attractive female (single) partner didn't help Kathy's insecurity and fear that Elliot would either leave her for Olivia, or Elliot and Olivia were having an affair (which they did not; Elliot was faithful to Kathy). Anyway, the day came for the big crossover event for SVU and OC on April 1, 2021! We learned that Elliot and Kathy were indeed still very married and had moved to Italy after his departure from SVU; they returned to New York for Elliot to do some business and it coincide with Olivia receiving an award for her achievements. Kathy really wanted to go ... why? Well, that remains to be seen, but, the catch was this letter Elliot had given to Olivia after Kathy had died ... okay, I jumped ahead there. Yes, apparently attempting to leave for the award ceremony, Elliot got distracted by a phone call so he gave Kathy the keys to their rental car... as Kathy was about to go in, the car exploded! Kathy got thrown and burned, very critically injured. As she got loaded into the ambulance, Olivia arrived at the scene after getting notified for help while on her way to her award ceremony. We took off with the reunion of Elliot and Olivia and eventually Kathy dies from her injuries. 

Okay, now for this complicated letter. In Organized Crime pilot, Olivia gave Elliot whatever evidence and reports she had regarding Kathy's murder case and was given an envelope of a letter Elliot said he wrote but opted not to speak at her award ceremony as he isn't the type of doing public speaking. Since then until (mystery air date), a majority of viewers wanted to know what was in that letter. It was written before Kathy's death, but could it be a love letter? Could Elliot be confessing his true feelings of love for his former partner? Well, you can say yes, it was. But, there was a big twist: it was actually Kathy's idea and Kathy dictating to Elliot of writing that whatever feelings they may have for one another wasn't real, that he wished her the best of luck, blah blah blah (I honestly don't know word by word of it as I wasn't, and still am not, obsessed over it). When the letter discussion happened, Elliot was working undercover and got drugged by a roofie that was slipped in his mouth. He found his way to Olivia's apartment and wanted to talk about the letter.... something Olivia attempted to do with Elliot at the end of the Organized Crime pilot but he blew her off. However, after Kathy was done dictating and went off after Elliot sealed the envelope, he reopened the letter and added that in a parallel universe it would always be Elliot and Olivia. Yeah, I'm not happy about how this is going but that's... I really don't want to get into that. And it's not really the reason why I'm writing this. Prior to the air date of the letter reveal, Christopher Meloni did warn that the letter reveal would cause an uproar, and he wasn't wrong! An uproar it did cause and viewers took to Twitter to let it out. Kathy became the ultimate enemy number one. Many were happy she died, wanted to dance on her grave, wanted to give Angela and Richard Wheatley (who murdered Kathy) high fives and an expensive celebratory dinner party. Those tweets got a hold of Isabel's Twitter handle and she saw that Kathy was trending. With natural curiosity, Isabel saw those tweets. At first, she shrugged it off, maybe did a chuckle or two, I mean, it wasn't serious.... until it got serious.

You see, I have been in the SVU fandom for a lot of years during its 23+ seasons run. I have been part of forums, groups, and other platforms as part of the fandom. I have seen quite enough of Kathy hate, or "I love Kathy but not with Elliot" types. I have had my share of wars with the EO/Bensler fandom, defending Kathy and her own love story with Elliot. I may have been in the minority, but I was and still am definitely proud to be part of it and not shy away from it. My take on Kathy's part of this letter thing was that she was only trying to hold her family and her marriage together, she wasn't being vindictive, gaslighting, or whatever else she's been accused of doing to keep Elliot and Olivia apart. I think if Elliot is truly in love with Olivia as everyone else (particularly Richard Wheatley) says he is, then he could've let the divorce Kathy had filed in seasons 6-8 be final to have his chance with Olivia. He had his chance! But, no, Elliot opted to go over to Kathy's house to want to come home and in the process, he got Kathy pregnant with Eli. There's been times since that letter reveal that I kinda wished Kathy slammed the door on Elliot ... at least she would've still be alive! Before the letter and when the countdown was going on for Elliot's return to television, we kinda already knew Kathy was going to be the one that dies, I saw tweets of EO/Bensler shippers excited that Kathy would be smokey confetti, wanting to throw a party of her demise, and when I call them out on the cruelty, they would claim it was a "joke". Yeah, sure. Jokes. It got to the point where I felt compelled to warn Isabel of what she and her character would be in for with these passionate fans. It will not be a pretty sight, I can tell you that. Isabel took it in stride (we converse privately),  and for a time it was okay, despite the joy of Kathy's death, Isabel did get praise for her performance from all sides, and she carried on with her life free from L&O commitments now that her character is dead (although Isabel did return as Kathy for Organized Crime episode to appear on security surveillance on the car bomb). Next thing she knew, the peace became an uproar circus when the letter reveal happened. 

Here's the link of Isabel's post on receiving hate over her TV character: T.H.I.N.K.

I did warn her! She finally got to see firsthand of what I have been going through for many years in the SVU fandom, she saw the ugly side. Of course, I felt sorry for Isabel to see all that cruel tweets but I am glad she spoke up about that. 

On her blog, she posted the picture of her image with a note that said this, 'this girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met...". As it turned out, the note itself was from the movie Mean Girls and was made into a meme with her image getting pasted on. Well, Isabel did not know that as she never saw Mean Girls. In truth, neither have I although I have heard of the movie; I did see that particular tweet myself and knew it was spliced together. As a fan, it hurt while scrolling, but I wasn't surprised either. After Isabel posted that, the person who originally posted the Mean Girl meme started receiving death threats while defending herself of why she posted that. Despite my own feelings about that hurtful meme, I don't think she deserved death threats - that's way too much. I have had my share of heated arguments with EO/Bensler shippers, but never have I ever made a death threat. I just eventually blocked, as they do with me. 

I believe the main reason why people dislike Kathy (including the viewers who doesn't want Elliot and Olivia together) is because we don't know her. We know Elliot well, Olivia, we know their favorite foods, color, the kind of music they listen to, there's a connection. We don't know Kathy's favorite color, or favorite shape of pasta. All we really knew was Kathy was a wife and mother. I do know Kathy's favorite food was Italian, seeing how happy she was going to an Italian restaurant in season one and living in Rome for about a decade, she loved it so much that Elliot said Rome was Kathy's place in the now deleted scene of Organized Crime's first episode as well in the murder trial episode of getting an Italian lunch to celebrate her belated birthday. Even Isabel once said in 2018, "Still, sometimes I feel like Kathy didn’t really get a chance to be a whole person. Sometimes I made up stuff in my head to fill her out. I always hoped people were pulling for her, but I never really knew." Out of 23 and counting seasons with over 500 episodes (and counting), Kathy has only been in 32 episodes; and she's been the "star" in two of them: Paternity and Return of the Prodigal Son. Paternity was when Kathy gave birth to Eli after being in a car crash with Olivia. Isabel's onscreen time succeeded over 20 minutes than the typical 3 minutes, one scene, maybe 2 if lucky, small part. As Isabel puts it, she was the 10th banana on the show. It has tiers of top billing of the main cast, then regulars, then recurring with judges, lawyers, doctors, forensics, and, at the bottom of the list: family. As for Return of the Prodigal Son, although the episode centered around Kathy's car bombing investigation and her ultimate death, the show once again put Isabel in the 10th banana spot. Kathy was onscreen in 3 scenes: going to the ambulance after the car bomb, being questioned by Olivia, and suffering from cardiac arrest (maybe 4 if you count the one Elliot and Olivia arriving outside her room, Kathy was sleeping). Her longest scene was with Olivia and it was less than 5 minutes. I get the tier importance thing: Olivia is now the star, Elliot and Olivia's reunion was the top billing and most anticipated event. Isabel definitely gets high praise for those two episodes with her performances - she's no slacker and can keep her toes up with Chris and Mariska, no matter the time gap.

I just find it a real shame that Kathy was picked to be the one that dies in order for Elliot to have his own show. I was originally rooting for Elizabeth because she was (and still is) the least seen, used, barely any lines, and more of a background prop. But then there was talk on how Elliot was originally going to come on by using Kathy with Dickie or Eli mixed in with troublemakers; Kathy was going to turn to Olivia for help, Elliot was "away" from everything, including his family (naturally some people took that as divorce "proof" but another thought was Elliot being deep undercover). So, my guess went from Elizabeth to one of the boys. I also thought with Elliot as a focus on the show, we could finally learn more about Kathy, that Isabel would finally have more scenes lasting a most half an hour instead of blink-or-miss appearance, that her place in the tier would have gotten promoted to regular character rather than an once in a blue moon recurring. As it turned out, it was my beloved Kathy who bit the dust, so we lost all opportunities of her interact her teenage Eli, to see her with Kathleen (Allison Siko since SVU season 3) and Dickie (Jeffrey Scaperrotta since SVU season 1), including the brand new faces of Maureen and Elizabeth, and with her mother in law Bernadette (played by Ellen Burstyn), who Kathy had a great off screen relationship. Including her grandchildren! It just doesn't seem fair. And it doesn't seem fair for people to dislike Kathy all because she was married to Elliot and not able for him to hook up with Olivia. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand about disliking/hating a character; I have my list, however, I tend to dislike for reasons like hypocrisy/selective memory, arrogant, narcissism, doing something unforgivable and no redeeming qualities. Plus, there's over-acting and under-acting. Maybe some do feel that way other than being the "cock-blocker" between Elliot and Olivia, okay, fine, I can respect that. As I have learned, you can't make everyone happy. 

Anyway, I hope as Organized Crime seasons unfolds that we can still learn about Kathy as a whole person before eventually fading away into oblivion.

Bernard Pivot Questionnaire by James Lipton

If you were interviewed by the late James Lipton, what would be your responses to Bernard Pivot's top 10 questions?

1. What is your favorite word? 
Please

2. What is your least favorite word? 
No

3. What turns you on? 
Ferraro Roche

4. What turns you off?
Cigarettes

5. What sound or noise do you love? 
The Beatles

6. What sound or noise do you hate? 
Explosive

7. What is your favorite curse word? 
Sh!t

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? 
Photographer

9. What profession would you not like to do? 
Being famous for nothing

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 
“I found your cat” (Snowball)

Where is My Life?

Fed up with my patience
turning to my conscience
trashing around the bay
without knowing what to say


Everybody telling me the story
wishing for all the glory
in my life to be perfect
however I am away causing a conflict
crying in vain
feeling my tears drain
closing my eyes from the lecture
dizzy from this torture


Wanting to be left alone
biting my skin down to the bone
trumbling with anger
risking the edge towards the danger


Lost in the words of the sea
not letting me to be free
trying to make me do what I don't want to do
they don't get my clue


They are trying to make me crack
by putting me in the sack
trapped because I won't break down
digging into my soul to the ground
letting me drown in my blood
creating an emotional flood


Stealing my misery in space
not wanting to look at my own face
sorrow has reached my eye
listening to my heart cry
crawling away in gravel
hoping that the tension unravel


Depressed most of the time
increasing the thoughts in my mind
alone in the darkness with a knife
Where is my life?


Written in 2002.
I wouldn't say I was being suicidal... overdramatic, but not suicidal. At the time, I was around 21 years old and still wasn't driving. My whole family was flabbergasted to put it kindly. They had all gotten their licenses when they were 15, 16 years old and here I was, 21 and no license. Unlike them, I just did not want to drive. I was scared. I was, and still is, the only one who lived near busy streets and those are not easy to practice on! The rest of them were raised and lived in areas that were quiet, residential. Plus, a guy that I had a massive crush on died in a car accident when he was 17 (I was 16) so that really put a damper on driving. It took me until I was 22 to finally get a license. I like going at my own speed and apparently my own speed never impress my family's qualifications. I suppose it's safe to say that I am the black sheep of my family? The weirdo.

My Imagination

I have a strange imagination
very hard to explain the ideas
Pretending to be someone else
in another time era
Pretending to invent someone in fiction
trying to picture of what the future would bring
Having my own little world
a place to escape and relax
To be able to smile and create
up to the temperature to the right degree
Reaching up to my imagination
knowing that my mind is a thousand of miles away
Rephrasing a memory
eyes replacing it's vision from the real world
To the fantasy world
a feel to make you feel small
a dream that makes you feel big
Imagination that no one can control
it's mine only
no one else to have
My feelings of happiness and pain
trying to search to get out
My imagination is a dream
a far away look in my eyes
It takes me longer to reach reality
my very own imagination
to shine like a star
to slide down the rainbow
Bright as a sun
glowing like the moon
A far cry from the special destiny
a dream that can not be taken away
Something to have is a part of you
sometimes it's hard to understand
only I could
My imagination contain things
some that will never happen
Crying and laughter is in
like a butterfly flapping it's wings
spreading it's color, like a peacock
Ideas come fresh to the head
never to forget that piece of mind
wherever when it blossoms
The events can go on for months
maybe even a year or two
The pain to reach down under
hopefully to disappear
To love or to hate
questions will come at any point
Just my imagination
only I could bring it to myself
The keys to success of hard work
only steps have to be taken
time by time
Crossroads will happen in life
joining to steal of togetherness
Stories form together in the head
My imagination
which is only just for me


Originally written in 1998, revised in 2002.
When I was writing poems in those days, I was trying to be suave, like I knew my way around words, and jotting down things that came to mind. It sounded great at the time. Today? Well, other than thinking that I was showing off over 20 years ago, I have to say that it's still not that far off either. My imagination is still just that- my faraway getaway.

Running Against the Rain

A feeling grew inside of her
she grabbed my hand for support
So we ran outside to hide
a strange look on his face
Running down on the damp cement
across the rocky street
a shoe flew across the field
Rain poured down like sharp needles
the moon disappeared behind the clouds
no light was shown anywhere
Thunder pounded against the dark sky
lightning got closer and closer
No shelter was around to protect us
his steps grew louder and louder
we continued to run, fast
She tripped down the rock
tears, water, and blood dripped down
from her fact to her princess gown
I didn't know what to do
leaves caught in my hair
she wanted to bury herself
He approached us, slowly and carefully
She was scared
Suddenly, he put his arms around her
she put her limp body on him
I watched, crying
he whispered in her ear
she was holding him tight
The rain poured down their drenched clothes
I left, leaving them alone
I looked back
they were kissing on the wet grass
I walked across the field
back towards the house
My princess gown was in ruins
my curls were in knots
my shoes were lost somewhere in the wind
but I was happy
after I got into the house to join the party
I looked out of the window
they were still there
holding each other with a passion
the moment was unforgettable
feeling so real
I sat down on the sofa, wet
mesmerized by the scenery
The rain grew stronger by the minute
thunder and lightning were bolted around
the party was panicking and pacing
I ignored them, looking at my dear friend
who was once frighten of her boyfriend
but now, she is all right
finally returning to her engagement party
that has always been her dream


Originally written in 1999, got reworked done in 2002.
I must have been reading too many romance novels or something at the time? Heavily influenced by Stevie Nicks and I was trying to write a romance novel in poem form.

It's Only Sunday

Waking up in the morning
I could hear the day that started hours before
staring at the ceiling
asking myself, "What should I wear?"
I got up from my bed
I turned around to look at my pillow
it looked so welcoming
"Why not?" I asked myself
and so I went back down
it's only the weekend anyway
so why not?
It's probably some time early afternoon
but I don't care
I am very comfortable
my fairy tale dreams came back to life
through my closed eye lids
back to the wonders of daydreaming
I play another person
or I make believe
Why not stay here for the rest of the day?
It's only Sunday
the last day of the weekend
a day to rest for tomorrow
Sunday
A day that is meant to rest our body
sorry to the early birds
I'm very comfortable
nothing will move me
Besides, it's only Sunday


Written in 1998
And yes, I loved sleep. I still do. Not a morning person here!

Not Understanding the Flowers in My Heart

My lips want to burn against yours
sparks would fly around the room
full of twinkling lights that are stars in the air
A perfect match would have been made
at that moment
The petals of the rose are still together
for the hope
Everyone else says it's just a phase
they don't care about the inner feelings
that are deep in the heart
They all think that the feelings will be forgotten
why would they say a thing like that?
There are all kinds of definitions of love
They just don't understand me
they are too busy with their lives
not paying attention to mine
I'm experimenting the feelings that are welled up inside
feeling like a dried flower lying on the cold floor
lonely, used, and old
the bloom spirit died into the dust
there is no way back to health
trying to breathe the damp air
The room is still, so dark
no life was to bring this flower back
All spirits left without a trace
all gone, all alone, with no where to go
Lying on the floor
long forgotten
Regrets fly around the room
thirst for water, being drowned by air
That flower is my heart
People do not understand my feelings for you
so fragile to keep inside
Secrets to keep in my heart
disappointment comes through
telling me to be open, honest
Still, they don't understand


Written in 1998
Ah me, as a teenager and being heavily influence of the lyrics by Stevie Nicks, Courtney Love, and raging hormones.

But I Always Felt I Was

I wasn't around when the Beatles met
I wasn't around when the Beatles made their first record
I wasn't around when the Beatles first landed in the United States
I wasn't around when the Beatles made their first movie
I wasn't around when the Beatles performed their last concert
I wasn't around when the Beatles broke up
But I always felt I was


I wasn't around when John Lennon died
I was born nearly a year later
I have mixed feelings about that
Half is glad, because I didn't get to feel the raw pain
Half is sad, because I wasn't around during his lifetime
But I always felt I was


When December 8 comes around
my house grows gloomy
my mom remembers
the anniversary of his tragic death
she has this sadness in her
the radio is filled with his music
I sing along
the TV is filled with footage of his life
I watched
but then, I feel the same sadness that my mom feels
I started to cry
because the pain is that strong


Then November 29 comes around
it felt like a normal day
but something is missing
then I found out why
the next day, it was announced
George Harrison died
It was during the aftermath of September 11th
it was the only day that no one spoke about a war
instead it was quiet with only music playing
realizing that there are only two left


I never felt so empty
I never met them
yet I always felt that they were a part of my family
I grew up listening to them since birth
I spent most of my life learning about their lives
I managed to see Ringo Starr in concert twice*
I fought my way to see Paul McCartney in concert
despite my life's schedule
but I would do anything to see one in concert


Now, I still feel that empty pain
Every time I see a movie or listen to a song
it's there and it won't go away
But then again, the Beatles could never leave
there may be only two left with us
but there will always be the Fab Four among us
Forever


Written in 2002
*update: I have seen Ringo Starr now 4 times and also Paul McCartney 4 times. Other than that, nothing else has changed. Still all valid.

On the Road

My feeling goes through a pressure
something I am not sure
I'm on the road all the time
I have been cut down from my prime
My family and friends who I miss so
but I have to do this show
On the road, it could be fun
but I am afraid to be shot down by a gun
Strangers and company surround me
I didn't really that there's so many places to see
On the road, it could be hell
I think it would be better if I fell
this tour is making me feel hate
and losing my strong fate
Oh, please, get me off this awful road way
I will promise to stay away
On the road to boredom
this is not my freedom
from my own magical kingdom
which I hope to come
I need to be in therapy
that is where I want to be
I don't want this to be my life code
so I gotta get away from the road


Written in 1998
I was watching way too much of "Behind the Music". Dedicated to all the musicians who find that life on the road is difficult.

It Seems to Be

I try to reach you every hour
our bond is losing power
You keep disappearing away
I'd have no idea what to say
Only out of the blue
do I hear from you
But, it seems that you are pulling away
you want to go your own separate way
I keep pinching myself, hoping that this is just a dream
now, I'm getting used to talking to your answering machine
It seems that you have nothing to do with me
the reasons are not hard to see
You are not there when I need you the most
you are beginning to be like a ghost
You are the same person, yet different
you are making me feel like I am not important
I feel like that I can not trust you anymore
you never acted this way before
I do understand your point of view
but, I just not able to reach you
You are a wonderful and generous person
I only can't get most of your attention
It seems to be that you want to change
not letting us know that you rearrange
For another life to enter
putting someone else in the center
Nevermind the pain you made
to the unknown future you laid
It seems to be you moved on without me


Written in 2000


UPDATE
But now, you are back
we could all relax
I know that you are in pain
he broke away from your chain
Having you back in our arms
bringing back to the familiar charms
All of us are happy for you
this can not be true!


Written in 2002
Dedicated to my Grandmother and her ex-boyfriend.