Stairs Are My Enemy

Flashback: when I was 12 and in the 6th grade, it was raining and dark on a school day. At the time, it had those “portable” classrooms as an expansion to the main school. The classroom had these steel-like stairs. I suppose I thought I was rather invincible and so as we were leaving to go to the cafeteria for lunch, I jumped one by one on the stairs. On the final step down, I slipped and fell. I got up and proceeded to follow my class for lunch. At first, I didn't feel any pain- perhaps I was in shock and denial. During lunch, I felt my left foot starting to throb in pain. I wasn't too worried, after all, I expected pain from that kind of fall so I ignored it. Not long after we returned to class, the pain grew worst enough to go to the office to call my mom to pick me up. I had to go in the dark rain to and back, mind you. I called my mom and she left work to pick me up. She always been puzzled on why didn't I call my grandmother? She was living down the street (across from where we lived) so yes, it did make sense for me to call the closest relative for help. Except, I didn't want my grandmother. I wanted my mommy. Well, my mom worked pretty far, maybe 40 minutes away and had to go through the dark rain to get to me… it was at that moment that my mom decided we needed to move so she could be reasonable closer in case of another emergency. I went back to class to wait for the intercom announcement (that was always cool to hear your name over the speaker telling you to go home… not so much to report to the office). Anyway, Mom took me to the hospital. She wasn't happy either. Not just because of the long distance from work to school, but on how I wasn't wailing in pain. I guess she thought my foot was broken and heard, “When I broke my leg, I cried!” However, I didn't think my left foot was broken and was okay when I didn't move it. But something was wrong! At the hospital, I did X-rays and my foot was sprained. It got wrapped and I was given crutches. I took a good week off from school and was watched over by my grandmother.

Recent: on Thursday night (Jan. 24th) a slight deja Vu happened… this time, it was in a home, on carpet covered stairs, and I wasn't jumping. I was concentrating on my chores, which was to take out the garbage for the next day’s pickup. I was about midway down when I lost my balance, slipped, and slid down the stairs, landing on my right foot. It hurt so bad right away! No delayed pain or shock, it was instant. I got comfy on the couch, got my foot elevated with an ice pack. It was very clear that I wasn't going to work the next day… On Saturday, I couldn't take the pain anymore as it felt much worst, I was getting to the point of believing my foot was broken, so to Urgent Care I went with my mom meeting me there. I even drove there myself, using my painful foot although my left helped pushing down the brake pedal. As it turns out, my foot wasn't broken. It was a bad sprain. I was given bandage, a splint with icy gels in, and prescription medication, as well as orders to rest. No work for me until Friday.

To this day, I've never broke any bones, but both my feet have been through sprains (25 years apart). Thanks to my enemy: the stairs.

Social Media Pet Peeves

I have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr (MySpace too but I admittedly abandoned it once it got out of fashion and it got hard to navigate with so many "upgrades" it went through).

Understandably with social media, entertainment fans tend to set up an account dedicated to a favorite entertainer. I myself am guilty of making a few fan accounts of my own. However, on Instagram especially, a person will start using the fan account in question and turn it into a personal account. I can't stand that! Sure, they will post a picture to go with the account theme but the caption would be completely different. Instead of reading a fact, debunking a myth, sharing a quote or whatever, I would read something like "I got a big test tomorrow and barely studied!" or "I think my boyfriend is cheating on me, so I am cutting his head out of my pictures" or something. I apologize but if I want to read something personal about the person, then I'd follow their own account to get their own life story and dilemmas. But no, I am following a fan account that likes to talk about themselves rather than their subject. I have sworn to myself that I will never turn my fan accounts into my life story. It's what my personal account/profile is for. I am okay with expressing opinions and musings about the entertainer in question because it's about the entertainer!

Driving Pet Peeves

I hate when I am driving and all of the sudden a car on the opposite side of the road in a turning lane would look like it's heading right at you! That scares me and without fail I would quickly maneuver my car to avoid getting hit. Can't that driver wait until I am completely out of the way? It takes a couple of seconds, it wouldn't kill them! When I need to make a turn without a traffic light, I wait until I have a nice gap so I can go and not be hit.

Another thing that bugs me is that I would be on the turning lane, waiting to turn but it would take awhile when an apparently dare driver honks to say Go! But an incoming car would be coming quickly and you just know that if you do go then you will get hit. Geez, I will go as I damn will please! I am not risking my life so that the car behind me can be first in line. If don't like it, go around and try yourself.

95% of the time, I like to make my turns and U-turns at the light. Feels more safer.

At a parking lot, I would be backing out of the parking space, thinking I am safe with no one behind me (or someone who wants the space but gave you back up room is fine too) when all of the sudden, a car would drive by! Slam the brakes! What the hell???? Didn't that driver see me backing up? Rude! Couldn't at least politely stop and let me finish backing up so I can leave.

My Online Empire

Time to time, I like to do an updated itinerary of my online websites and social media.

Websites 
The Mexican Beauty: Olivia Harrison
The Beatles Children
Cyn & Mo
Enchanting Isabel Gillies

Yahoo Groups 
Beatles Lovers
The Beatles Children
Mary McCartney Photography
The Stabler Family
The Bond Girl: Barbara Bach

Blogs
Jeannette's This & That
In My Tastebuds
In My Write Mind
The Stablers

Tumblr
Jeannette's Place
Photographs by Mary McCartney

Instagram
Celebrity Every Day
Tribute to the Late Beatles' Wives

Beatles' Wives & Girls
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
YouTube
Children of the Beatles Facebook
Children of the Beatles Instagram

Having On-line Friends

In the past 4 months, I have lost 3 online friends, Dee, Marie and Peggy. Two were from the Beatles and the other with soap operas (although, one of the Beatles fans was also a soap fan, but I associate her more with the Beatles). All three were rather expected with warning signs, yet after 'knowing' them for a number of years I will miss them.

Now, some people I know personally would scuff at the idea of being friends with someone I never met personally. In a way, I can understand the worry part- there could always be someone on the other side of the computer who is a complete opposite of what they say. It could be a serial killer or pedophile. I like to surf in message boards of things I like so I can talk to people, know their point of view and see things that make sense or answer a question.
With me, after talking to the same people over and over consistently, trust starts to build and find oneself to be opening up. A message board or a chat room starts to feel like a family-vibe, sending a lengthy personal message or email. You start following on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, MySpace, Facebook where you reveal more of who you are as a person. Mostly it's interest or hobbies. Then it will grow to sending Christmas cards and talking over the phone. And maybe a face to face meeting. You then realize that when out shopping, you will see something that would remind you of your online friend, maybe get it as a gift. Real friendships form.
When certain people I know personally complains that I am not social- yet I believe I am, just in this modern technology way. Different generation? Perhaps. Yet I have encountered many age groups. No matter what though, it's nice to know I have friends around the world. It is a good source of information to learn. Like an international recipe I would see on T.V. and would ask if it's indeed popular or if I am planning to be in their neck of the woods, where to go? It is also a great feeling to know that you aren't alone when dealing with a latest turmoil drama in life. I have also come to notice that my online friends like and reacted to my posts more than my own family members.

I think this article sums up my thoughts even more, sharing my point of view.

Frustrated with Mother

I am getting fed up with my mother. She tells me one thing and does another, like 'Do as I say but not what I do' and also, in my opinion, being a hypocrite. Big example: She cooks something and expects me to eat it- freshly made and leftovers. It would stay in the refrigerator for as long as possible. When I cook (and I cook a LOT), not even 24 hours later, it would get thrown out! Never mind my dreams of eating leftovers for lunch during the week or dinner. And yet during this time, my mom lectures me of money and food waste. How is it OK for her food to be saved but not mine? She is throwing away things that we both bought with our money- especially mine. What is this? What the hell is her problem with my food? She hadn't really done this before until this year- is her resolution for 2015 is to throw away whatever I make? At this point, I want to store my food at work! Or get my own mini-fridge for my room (but where would I put it? Every space in my room is taken). Anything just so my mom wouldn't get her hypocritical hands away from my stuff! 

I am also getting sick of the stuff she makes- it's the same thing over and over again. Her favorite is stew. I am so sick of stew that I am at the point of never wanting to have it again, ever. And the way she cooks the meat- beef chunks- is tough and hard to chew, very chewy. She doesn't realize that beef chunks need a longer cooking time, an hour at least. But she cooks it less than that. I would have to scoop up either the smaller pieces to just the veggies. And she makes this weekly and expects ME to eat the leftovers. Why doesn't she eat it???? I mean, help me out here of consuming this! Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever seen her eat any of her- or mine- leftovers. She would either make something else or get fast food while her beloved food waits for my unwanted attention. 

I think I should make food for myself rather than the household since it'll wind up in the trash the following day. And if any leftovers, store it at work! I rather have my leftovers in an overstuffed refrigerator than being at my own home. It would be safe!

Rare Personal Family Rant

This is going to be a personal post but I am not going to name names but I am going to rant away! There's two things that are bugging me- one has been in my mind for a few years while the other is rather new. Time to let it all out! Remember: It's my blog and I can post what I want and how I feel (if you are related to me)

1. My Aunt- by marriage. I've known her since I was a toddler and for the most part she's been real nice and part of the family. Then for the past few years- I would say 5 now- things have been on breaking point. There's been heavy duty family drama but I am not going to get into it because it does NOT involve me and, at this time of writing (er, typing) she is not aware of my feelings towards her. I don't even intend to let her on it because quite frankly, I don't believe it would make much difference.
Every time she hosted a party, she would assign drinks and ice to my Mom and I. She knows I cook, and every time I offer to bring a dish, she normally shots the idea down. I don't know her problem with that is. In her mind, I guess all my mom and I are good for are bringing drinks. I brought it up with my mom and even she's been getting fed up about it! We've been rebelling quietly. One Thanksgiving, we decided to not attend her party and went to a local restaurant that was having a Thanksgiving special and played it to them that we told them that we decided not to go but apparently it either didn't register or they weren't paying that much attention to us. Yeah it's a little white lie but thankfully (on Thanksgiving! HA!) they bought it. Not too pleased though as they were looking forward to putting ice in their drinks. Yeah I bet they did. So heartbroken to not go down the street and get it themselves. I mean, really? How hard is that? They got kids, one or two have a car, let her do that easy task! Another Thanksgiving (a few years before us standing up the family), my mom was sick so she wasn't going to go to dinner at my Aunt's house, I planned to go. I kept urging my Aunt by marriage to let me bring a dish over! Please, please, please! But noooo, she was very firm that I bring the stupid drinks and ice. With my other Aunt, she encourages my cooking and is happy when I offer to bring a dish or two. Finally, with my hands shaking the urge to go through the telephone wires to strangle her, I decided to screw it and fake being sick, claiming that I got the bug from my mom and was going to stay in at home. Thankfully (another Thanksgiving pun!) my Aunt is a germ-a-phob so I was easily off the hook but what killed me was when she said "was looking forward to the dish you were going to make..." REALLY???? After having a few days of hearing no, she said that? I couldn't believe it. So, on Thanksgiving eve, I bravely went to the store, got what I needed and made Thanksgiving for two at home. It was very delicious. When I ranted this to my step-grandmother, she suggested that to just bring a dish so that way the Aunt would have no choice but to include the dish into the 'buffet'. This past Easter, I did just that and guess what? My soup was gone quicker than all the other dishes that were available.
Then there's Christmas. For the past 3 years, I've received nothing but Christmas ornaments from this particular Auntie. Gifts that I could only use once a year. And some of them I don't really use as ornaments- I just yak/cut off the string and use it as a do-dad on display. Cheap. Lazy. I mean, just give me a gift certificate for Barnes & Noble or a clothing store and I'll be happy and it wouldn't be something I would have to use once a year. Meanwhile, two Christmases ago, I got her a nice spice gift basket that was NOT cheap and it didn't have the kind of spices that you can just simply get the grocery store. Last Christmas, there's this game called White Elephant where you re-gift and someone with a number gets to pick and if someone wants it, gets to take a gift for themselves. I personally think it's a stupid game and refused to play it but watched. My step-grandmother got a re-gift and after looking at it closely I realized it looked awfully familiar...it was my spice gift basket! And what's worst was that it was still in it's packaging (that see through thing- I dunno what's it's called). That was NOT a cheap thing to buy! Heck, my paycheck didn't even afford it but as a thoughtful giving person, I ignored my woos and was in spirit season that I got it, only to find that one year later she would re-gift it. I wouldn't have been too upset about it if the packaging had been open and at least try one. So now, I am not going to buy anything for HER. Yes to my Uncle, I don't think it's fair to exclude him for doing nothing wrong other than being married to a cheap ungrateful loon.

2. This is brand new. On Facebook, everything I post something (whether it's funny, sad, heartwarming, whatever) I rarely get a "like" from members of my own family. Local or distant. Meanwhile I look at their profiles and I see a lot of "likes" from their own stuff! Do I post something to offend them? I don't think I'm invisible because I get notifications that my friends- not family but my friends- liking my stuff. Maybe at most I'll get 3 family members liking whatever I put up. The only time I get my own family to give me some Facebook lovin' would be on my birthday, posting their greetings on my wall. Yet they can't click (or press on their iPhones, or iPads, androids, etc) "like" on my pictures, statuses, jokes, and so on? Do they disagree? Am I invisible? Is there some kind of rule not to "like" my things? Lately, I've been wanting to go on their own profiles and say Screw you. Chances are they wouldn't even care.
Sometimes I think I'm definitely the black sheep of the family

My Online "Empire"

Websites

The Mexican Beauty: Olivia Harrison

-dedicated to George Harrison's widow and Dhani Harrison's mother. It's the first website I created

Cyn & Mo

-a fun little site exploring the friendship of John Lennon and Ringo Starr's ex wives Cynthia Lennon Charles and Maureen Starkey Tigrett

Enchanting Isabel Gillies

-Actress (from the movie Metropolitan and a recurring role on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit) and Author (Happens Every Day, A Year and Six Seconds and Starry Night)

Yahoo Groups

The Beatles' Children

-dedicated to Julian Lennon, Zak Starkey, Jason Starkey, Mary McCartney, Lee Starkey, Stella McCartney, Sean Lennon, James McCartney, Dhani Harrison and Beatrice McCartney

The Beatles' Lovers Forever 

-dedicated not only to The Beatles but to their families, their friends, the people who loved them. It's my first Yahoo Group I created

The Bond Girl: Barbara Bach

-dedicated to one of the James Bond's leading ladies and the wife of Ringo Starr. I made this group because the other one that's around is full of spam of porn and get rich quick schemes

Mary McCartney Photography

-a showcase of Mary's photography work, including her food recipes and other side projects 

Mexican Beauty: Olivia Harrison

-to go along with my website to announce updates and other news, photos related to the website

The Stabler Family: Christopher Meloni & Isabel Gillies

-created before I started both Enchanting Isabel Gillies and The Stabler's Blog; a place for Elliot and Kathy Stabler fans from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Cynthia Powell Lennon

-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to the first wife of John Lennon and the mother of Julian Lennon with photos and articles

Something About Pattie Boyd

-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to Pattie Boyd, the first wife of George Harrison and Eric Clapton, covering the years of birth until the early 1970s

Forever Pattie Boyd

-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to the first wife of George Harrison and Eric Clapton, covering the years from the early 1970s to present day

Pattie Boyd's Sixties Style

-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to the fashion and career of model and photographer Pattie Boyd

Lee Parkin Starkey

-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to Ringo Starr's daughter

March of the Black Queen

-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to Queen

Blogs

This & That

-photographs of actors and musicians who entertain me as well as admiring and amusing. It's my first blog

In My Tastebuds

-I love to cook and experiment

In My Write Mind

-you are here now- I like to write. I write everything here from opinions, to facts, to my personal poems, etc. on paper and pen...well keyboard and typing. 

The Stablers

-a fun blog of the characters from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; created to help defend one of my favorite TV couples from other viewers who either look down upon or doesn't know anything and are willing to learn more about them. 

The Beatles' Wives & Girls

-dedicated to Cynthia Lennon, Maureen Starkey, Pattie Boyd, Linda McCartney, Yoko Ono, Olivia Harrison, Barbara Bach, Heather Mills, Nancy Shevell as well as Jane Asher, Dorothy Rhone, Astrid Kirchherr, May Pang, Nancy Andrews and many other women who loved the Beatles and the Beatles loved them. Run by Jeannette (that's me), Heloisa, Vio, Sentimentalist, and Lynn

Facebook

Children of the Beatles Facebook 

Twitter -The Beatles' Women

YouTube -Women of the Beatles

Instagram -The Beatles' Women/The Beatles' Wives & Girls

Queen Will Always Rock Me

 As far as I can remember, Queen was always a part of my life. I grew up with Queen- they got really hot in the 1980s (Freddie Mercury in his mustache) after being together since 1971. There was Live Aid, the Wembley Stadium in 1986 before they quietly quit touring after when Freddie discovered he had AIDs and was dead in 5 years. I remember seeing their music videos on MTV- when the channel was all about music before it became a reality network and Brian May doing some introductions and little stories here and there behind the hits. I think I have those still on VHS tapes. Freddie with his powerful operatic voice that could range from opera to head-banging rock. John Deacon with this heart-beating bass, Roger Taylor and his drums and Brian with his lead guitar- they were such a great band. Yes they fought but only because they had a vision and knew what they wanted and in the end the main songwriter would win. They were also creative and open-minded- Freddie loved Brian's guitar at the end of Bohemian Rhapsody while Brian thought it should've just been the piano but, as I just wrote not that long ago, the songwriter (Freddie) would win at the end. They were also encouraging with one another- Freddie, Brian and Roger convinced John to submit any songs so that he would have a financial pillow cushion rather than his bass playing so he could live comfortably many years to come without going broke. They had management and financial issues in the 1970s from being screwed and banded together- John was their money man who managed to sort out their earnings.
After Freddie died and John retired, Brian and Roger continued on with Queen. First they enlisted Paul Rogers from Bad Company. I wasn't too thrilled with that one. Don't get me wrong- I do like Paul Rogers- he has a great singing voice but it wasn't fit for Queen's music. Maybe for the hard rockers like Liar and Tie Your Mother Down but not for Killer Queen. I honestly thought just end Queen and form another band in another name if Brian and Roger wanted to play in a band. Then came Adam Lambert. Now I'll admit that I haven't watched American Idol after quitting mid-way into season 2 as I lost interest but once I heard about Queen being a guest to play on American Idol with Adam, I thought "Now we are talking!" I do think Adam is a much better suited singer for Queen. He has that Freddie vibe about him- they are both showmen, powerful singers, and yes, both are gay. Adam can get away with singing Killer Queen or Bohemian Rhapsody. I approve of this replacement. Thankfully, Roger and Brian did realize that Paul wasn't fitting into their mold as I already realized before.

 Freddie...the picture above is my kind of Freddie. Man he was hot in the 1970s. Yes, I know, gay. And dead. But do I care? No. He's fascinating to me. He's also a cat lover like me. His birthday is in September, like me (except different days and different horoscope). Freddie has a voice like no other. As I mentioned before, Freddie had a huge range of his voice to be able to go anywhere from rock to opera; if he was alive today I wouldn't have any doubt that he would be involved in more genres- like Country, Hip-Hop/Rap. Freddie died in 1991 from complications of AIDs. I remember very clearly of hearing the news that Freddie was dead. I was 10 years old. I had just gotten home from seeing a magic show (David Copperfield) with my grandmother. Mom was home watching TV and there was Freddie, showing a clip from Bohemian Rhapsody's music video with those two year-dates of his birth and death. When I went to bed, I cried my eyes out. Next thing I know, AIDs was everywhere- in ads, news, being discussed in school. It was a heavy topic. He had released the news of him having AIDs after being hounded by the press and rumors and the following day, Freddie was gone. I honestly don't remember the announcement- I could've been just too young to understand what was going on until after his death and the AIDs awareness spread like wildfires. Freddie's death was the first death that really affected me to remember- like "Where were you when JFK or John Lennon died?". Well I take that back- Lucille Ball's death had an impact on me but the memory is sketchy- I was still a little girl and I do recall hearing about it but I don't know where I was, who I was with, how I heard the news nothing like how I heard about Freddie's death. Perhaps it was because Lucille was in her 80s and had heart surgery, dying of a heart attack so it wasn't as shocking. I suppose I can say that although Lucille's death was my first celebrity death, Freddie's death had the most impact.
I remember back in the mid-2000s, my grandmother, Mom and I were on a road trip and we had music in the car- Bohemian Rhapsody came on during our CD circulation/rotation. The first time it came on, Grandma got a good kick out of with the opera bit. The second time it came on, this time around Grandma listened to the lyrics and had a freak out. The song was talking about killing a man and she wasn't thrilled, realizing that ever since I was a child I was crazy about them and hearing about this. She gave my mother a hard time about it "How could you let her listen to this????"...Wait a minute! First of all, the song came out in 1975 while my mother was a teenager and at the time, Grandma didn't say anything. Second of all, my Mom pointed out to her that there's other classic songs that talked about murder- Mack the Knife by Bobby Darin was an example. Grandma eventually got quiet and Mom and I quietly took Bohemian Rhapsody out of it's rotation of playing. I am wondering what Grandma was really afraid of- was she scared that I would turn into a murderer? I'm sure Grandma gave Freddie a third degree interrogation after when she died some time later.

After Freddie's death, John went on to perform with Roger and Brian to work on Made in Heaven with the remaining tracks Freddie left behind to release and three live performances before retiring. John was always the shy one- Freddie was shy too but once he got on the stage, his showman persona came out and he was fearless of anything. John kept quiet- he did perform, letting Brian, Roger and Freddie have the spotlight of their performances. It's been said that John suffered depression after Freddie's death. I think of all the members of Queen, John took Freddie's death the hardest. I suppose that to him, his musician days were over the moment Freddie died with very few exceptions. Although, according to both Roger and Brian, John wrote them a letter saying that he approves of whatever they do with Queen (he does get his fair share of percentage of the pie). He was last seen at Queen's Broadway production of We Will Rock You premiere, Roger thought he was there to see what his investment was all about. Other than that, there's ideas that John was playing golf and enjoying retirement. I'm sure he is and I hope he is too. John was (and still is) a very talented bass man. I do miss his presence in Queen whenever I see Roger and Brian perform.

I have this picture as a poster, hanging in my bedroom

My Favorite Songs of Queen (in no particular order other than what's coming to my mind)

Bohemian Rhapsody

Killer Queen

You're My Best Friend

Now I'm Here

Tie Your Mother Down

Liar

One Vision

The Miracle

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Breakthru

Invisible Man

Another One Bites the Dust

Headlong

Seven Seas of Rhye

Millionaire Waltz

Keep Yourself Alive

It's a Kind of Magic

Stone Cold Crazy

Death on Two Legs

We Will Rock You (both fast and classic versions)

Sheer Heart Attack

Under Pressure

Bicycle Race

Fat Bottom Girls

I'm Going Slightly Mad

Princes of the Universe

I Want It All

I would put down These Are the Days of Our Lives but decided not to- it makes me cry. I love I Want to Break Free's music video where Queen dressed as women but the song is a take it or leave it. I must have been one of the very few people in America who thought that the music video was funny while the rest weren't too thrilled. 

I Like to Watch Cartoons

She-Ra: Princess of Power
Looney Tunes
The Beatles
The Flintstones
The Jetsons
Scooby-Doo (the classic versions)
He-Man (the 80s version)
Thundercats (the 80s version)
Winnie the Pooh
Garfield
George of the Jungle
Rocky and Bullwinkle
Tom & Jerry
Popeye
Heathcliffe

Beavis & Butthead
Daria
The Simpsons
The Animaniacs
Pinky & The Brain
The Powerpuff Girls
Ren & Stimpy
Batman Beyond

South Park
King of the Hill
Home Movies
Family Guy
American Dad
Spongebob Squarepants
The Fairy Oddparents
Futurama
Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Archer

Bob's Burgers
Brickleberry
Unsupervised
Penguins of Madagascar

The Backstreet Boys Concert

The crowd of fans are yelling and screaming
some of them could feel that they are dreaming
The Backstreet Boys are backstage, getting ready and praying from the Bible
They could hear the fans screaming for their favorite idol

They are now all set and ready
standing on their fly-boards very steady
Laser lights are flashing all over the audience and the stage
fans jump up and down, forgetting their name and age

While flying to the stage, they look down at the audience from above
fans scream for the ones that they love
Standing on the stage, observing the audience around
girls, of all ages, are jumping up and down

They start to sing "Larger than Life"
Oh, how the young girls want to be the lucky Backstreet Wife!
Nick sings like an angel that's going through his voice
the fans waves and are going crazy by their favorite choice

A.J. always taking off his shirt, looking like a rebel bad boy
Fans are throwing all kinds of toy
Kevin plays his white grand piano so beautiful
They are all so wonderful

Brian is smiling like a good luck charm
no one was causing any harm
Howie adds the high key voice so sweet
their harmonies are the perfect fit to the music beat

It was getting near the end
but, some are feeling that it just begin
Finally, they are singing "I Want it That Way", the last of the collection of songs
happy to know that they are close to home, where the true heart really belongs

Originally written in 1999
Dedicated to the Backstreet Boys concert that I went to in December of 1999. And yes, I was one of those screaming girls...I suffered the consequences afterwards as I couldn't talk for 2 days! I decided to put up this poem to honor their 20th anniversary of being together this year. 
Nick Carter was my Backstreet Boy

General Hospital's 50th Anniversary

Today is 'General Hospital''s 50th Anniversary.
I started to watch General Hospital in 1996. I can recall Lily Rivera Corinthos being blown up by her own father (who was really after her husband, Sonny Corinthos- who is still on the show) and Carly Roberts coming on board as an intern nurse while looking for her biological mother Bobbie Spencer (who gave her up for adoption as a teenager while working as a prostitute before becoming a nurse). Ever since then I've been hooked. I've been loyal even during their worst years. It was in danger of being cancelled about a year or two when ABC cancelled All My Children and One Life to Live- if it had been, ABC would've been the only major network without a soap (CBS has The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful while NBC has Days of Our Lives). Luckily, under a new Executive Producer and Head Writer, fresh off from OLTL, GH managed to be saved from the chopping block. Thank goodness! But to be honest, when the news that OLTL was cancelled, I wanted GH to be cancelled rather than OLTL. At the time, it was in it's worst years (I blame Head writers Robert Guza, Jr., Garin Wolf, and Executive Producer Jill Farren Phelps at this point of time) while OLTL was doing very well with their storylines. I had quit OLTL a few years before because it was all about Spencer Truman- he was in every freakin' storyline imaginable and I just got sick of it. But when I heard that Todd Manning (at the time was being played by Trevor St. John, a good replacement during Roger Howarth's absence) was going to have a long-long daughter Dani, I was intrigued so I came back. At the same time, my past favorite couple Natalie Buchanan Banks and John McBain were on the road to reuniting, so it was a double treat for me to return. Anyway, at the time I was willing to sacrifice GH for OLTL but thankfully Frank and Ron went to GH and even brought over Roger Howarth's Todd (who did return back to OLTL just before the cancellation announcement was made), Kristen Alderson's Starr Manning and Michael Easton's John McBain to Port Charles. I thought they fit in well until the Prospect Park/OLTL mess that's currently happening.

There's so much to remember after watching for quite a long time, so I'll try my best with my lists. There's no particular order- just what comes to mind. I can always edit whenever something to comes to mind later!
Favorite Couples (Past and Present)
1. Dillon and Georgie
2. Dante and Lulu
3. Jason and Sam
4. Luke and Tracy
5. Johnny and Olivia
6. Luke and Skye
7. Jax and Skye
8. Jax and Chloe
9. Ned and Alexis
10. Luke and Laura
11. Mac and Felicia
12. Nikolas #2 and Gia #1
13. Mac and Katherine
14. Max and Diane
15. Ric and Reese
16. Nikolas and Nadine
17. Damien and Ellie
18. Damien and Georgie
19. Ethan and Rebecca
20. Coleman and Kate #1
21. Lucky and Elizabeth
22. Ric and Elizabeth
23. Shawn and Alexis
24. Edward and Lila
25. Alan and Monica
26. Jerry #1 and Bobbie
27. Nikolas and Courtney
28. Stefan and Katherine
29. Cesar and Liesl

Favorite Couples That I Wanted to Get Together
1. Jason and Carly* #1 (Sarah Brown)
2. Todd and Heather
3. Nikolas and Claudia
4. Cameron and Alexis
5. Lucky and Claire
6. Johnny and Lisa*
7. Ric and Claudia*
8. Steve #1 and Carly #2
9. Nikolas and Britt
10. Milo and Ellie
*they did had sex a few times but there was never anything cemented to be a serious romantic relationship

Favorite Couples That I Used to Loved But Now What Was I Thinking?
1. Jason and Courtney
2. Logan and Lulu
3. Sonny and Hannah
4. AJ and Courtney

Favorite Friendships
1. Jason and Carly (#1 especially)
2. Jason and Damien
3. Jax and Alexis
4. Luke and Alexis
5. Luke and Skye
6. Alexis and Diane
7. Alexis and Chloe
8. Todd and Carly
9. Todd and Heather
10. Carly and Olivia
11. Lucky and Dante
12. Anna and John McBain
13. Felicia and Bobbie
14. Georgie and Brook Lynn

Who I Want to Come Back
1. Georgie (from the dead)
2. Blackie (from prison)
3. Lucas (from out of town)
4. Claudia (from the dead)
5. Dillon (from out of town)
6. Skye (from out of town)
7. Ned (from out of town)
8. Lucky (from out of town)
9. Ethan (from out of town)
10. Chloe (from the dead)
11. Ric (from out of town)
12. Faith (from the dead)
13. Justus (from the dead)
14. Jason (from the dead- but at the moment I can do without him)

Characters That Should Stay Dead & Not Return Alive
1. Sage
2. Diego
3. Emily
4. Luis

Monty Python, The Beatles, & Me

Extracts from my diary about my Las Vegas trip

6-30-08
I am in Vegas right now! Been here for a few days already and will be leaving in two days' evening.
The day we arrived (well, night) it was around ..10 PM.. or so (Vegas time, not Miami.) and while the partying was just getting started, we were so tired. We went to our room, ordered lots of room service and basically turned in, exhausted. The next day, Saturday, my Mom and I visited the Secret Garden & Dolphins (there is a baby dolphin name Sgt. Pepper) with lions, leopards, and tigers- even 5 baby cubs that were from the same litter from Florida; however no one knew where in Florida. The garden belongs to Siegfried and Roy-this Mirage hotel was where they usually perform but ever since Siegfried got mulled by a tiger, they don't perform so basically the Cirque du Soleil & the Beatles LOVE took over. After we went back to our room to chill out and took a nap, we got ready to go to the Wynn hotel to see Monty Python's Spamalot which I paid for. It was written by Eric Idle with the approval from Michael Palin, Terry Jones & Gilliam, and John Cleese; it was also a winner of some Tony awards. Spamalot is a bit of a parody of the Holy Grail movie (I love that movie!) with new stuff, songs, and a little reference here and there from the series like the fish slapping dance, a line from the Lumberjack song, Spam, and Always Look at the Bright Side of Life from Life of Brian movie. The show was starred by John O'Hurley; it was VERY FUNNY!!!! I laughed so hard- it was great! So glad and worth it to see. Missed it when they were down in Miami earlier this year. My mom wants to buy the soundtrack which is pretty much available. Before the show, we passed the time of gambling- I played what I played at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino- the Wheel of Fortune slots- I didn't do the one with one bar, I suck on that! I did pretty well considering. After the show, we went back to the Mirage Hotel and gambled some more. My mom went to do Blackjack while I hogged the I Dream of Jeannie slot machine which carried Barbara Eden's voice. I did pretty poorly at first even to the point where I only had one credit and then all of the sudden it went to 6,000 credits (which is about $300). $100 is 2,000 credits. But did I quit then? No! I kept going like a true gambler. Eventually though, it was almost ..3 AM.. and I was starting to nod off to sleep so I quit- I got $120 and went back to the hotel room. My mom was already asleep.

The following day (yesterday) was day one of Beatles' fest. In the morning, while I was sleeping, my mom went down to the pool for 45 minutes to an hour when she returned, got ready for the day. Had breakfast at the Roasted Bean and made our way to the Beatles' fest area. We were pretty early so we hung out, talking to other Beatle fans and finally got our wristbands but it didn't open for another 30 minutes, so hung out some more until the doors opened. I made a beeline for Pattie Boyd's room where her Photos were on display on one side of the room as well as Photos with her and George and her modeling as well as some outfits that she wore in the '60's. Pattie wasn't there yet but her art manager was and the person who was selling some of Pattie's merchandise was there. The art manager promised to call Pattie to find out where she was (fixing her hair…just like Eric's Wonderful Tonight song!) so I looked around while waiting. I just wanted to get this over with! I already had my long-waited questions set but prayed that I wouldn't say something stupid, like who was better in bed- George or Eric? However I knew she wouldn't answer that. I think it is fair to say that she loved them both but needless to say that George was the love of her life (hey, she said so!). She came in and as she was walking by me, I complimented on her outfit- she said "Thank you" very politely and I was like "Oh My God! She saw me, she heard me, AND she spoke to me!!!" Pattie Boyd, who has seen George Harrison naked, spoke to me!!! I had already bought a few things as well as having my little notebook (which provides some past autographs from 2005's Super Soap Weekend and 2006's Beatlesfest) I got from Mariska Hargitay's site some years back (unfortunately they don't sell it anymore, just a little hand-size notebook). I had made a special page just for her to sign in but in order for that to happen, I had to pay $25! Stupid idea I think, but I didn't say anything. I was just happy that she would sign it. I was the second person to do the meet-greet thing, even took a picture of Sandy (the woman in front of me, also a members of some Pattie Yahoo Groups that I belong to) with Pattie. I was nervous like you would never believe, my hands were shaking. Then it was my turn. She signed 3 things for me- my autograph/scrapbook, a picture, and a collage-y poster of hers that I had gotten just a few minutes prior to her arrival. I spelled out my name for her and then asked my long-waited questions. I asked if she and Maureen ever made peace after what happened (Maureen and George had a brief affair) before Maureen died: Pattie said yes- I am glad at that. Then I asked if she and Cynthia are still friends: they are but they haven't spoken recently (hey, maybe it'll inspire Pattie to ring Cynthia up for a chat!). She said that Cynthia lived in ..Isle of Man.. but I corrected her- she now lives in Spain! Damn aren't I bad to correct her! But it's the truth….I asked if she read "John", Cynthia's own book. Pattie answered that she started to read it but hadn't finished as she got busy with other things. I told her that Cynthia wrote very nice things about her and Pattie seemed pleased about it. While she was signing my notebook, I complimented on the photo of her and George that she took herself with the roses in the background- very beautiful and she echoed me. I left her room (also got a picture with her- my arm was around her! She had her arm around me!) and left. Man I'm such a nerd, a giddy nerd. I felt such an "OMG!!!! feeling. I called Cindy right away and told her what just happened before hanging up to go into the flea market to have my wallet drained with lots of goodies.

I saw and met with Nancy Lee Andrews who dated Ringo from 1974-1980 who was very kind. I had a wrong impression of her- thinking she was a bitch for breaking up Ringo and Maureen but I no longer think that. She was really lovely, really friendly. Besides, Ringo didn't want to be married anymore and live in Los Angeles- I believe he loved Maureen but something changed, perhaps her affair with George? It seemed complicated yet understandable in a way. I got Nancy's book "A Dose of Rock 'n' Roll" and a free photo (of Ringo, dressed, in a bathtub).

Then I met Deborah Chesner, a photographer who was friends with Maureen in the 1970s and has a book "Everyone I Shot is Dead". I bought it with a picture as well and asked, of course; about Maureen- I loved the photos of Maureen with her children at Friar Park in 1977. She was very hands on, as was Ringo (according to Nancy). Deborah also revealed (well, more so today at her discussion in the video room) that when he had surgery on his intestines, he stayed with Maureen to recover- of course not in a romantic way. Deborah recognized their bond, wondered why they ever broke up. It was very obvious that Ringo and Maureen still loved each other, caring for one another, loyal, trusting- Ringo was even at her bedside when she died back in 1994 and from my understanding he was very devastated by her death. I think he still misses her in a way, which is really sweet.

Afterwards I went to see Billy J. Kramer, who, unfortunately, I was not very impressed by. This lady who was sitting next to him was telling another about what Billy's real name is and it was John who inserted J in his stage name as it sounded better. I chimed in, saying that it was for Julian, John marking the birth of his son, but Billy didn't know until later (he didn't like the name but Brian agreed it sounded better and Billy did respect Brian's word for it). I asked Billy if he had met Julian (no) while he signed my book and then took a big bite of his meaty sandwich- so I got no picture- which I am not really bothered by it. I get that he was hungry but geez dude. I will say that later during the conversation with Martin Lewis, he praised Brian who was a great manager and should be in the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, deserving his credit.

I heard (well saw) Pattie's conversation- starting a bit of her childhood, to modeling, getting the part in "A Hard Day's Night" (even said her one like "Prisoners!") and dating George, and that was it for the day. Found Mom, went to our room for a quickie relax moment before getting dinner and seeing LOVE- what a great show! Awesome! Worth it! Then I went back to I Dream of Jeannie, hoping to have some luck again but it ended up pretty bad! My pride was so bruised- I found my mom playing Blackjack, telling her about it. Got some cokes and chips to go to my room and ordered pizza from room service to nurse my pride and swear off gambling for the rest of the time. Before the pizza came, Mom came in with the similar blues and I shared my pizza.

The next day (today) we both got up pretty late, ordered room service for breakfast, getting ready for another round of Beatles' fest. Of course I spent a lot of money as I did the other day like a mad woman. Got Mark Hudson's autograph and picture (very kind man- he had worked with Ringo and is the Uncle to Kate Hudson) and pretty much mosey-posey around. Saw Deborah's presentation and then Jorie's which was after in the video room and quickly went to the main ballroom to listen to Pattie's second conversation- mostly about taking pictures, and the meditation experience. Donovan later snuck up behind her, surprising her and they posed on the stage- it had been 40 years since they all went to India. Later on, I went back to her room to see her film she had on and spoke to her merchandise man (I found out that she was going to see LOVE for the first time that same day, the 10 PM show) and then struck a conversation with one of the security men about songs written for Pattie including For You Blue which is a great song. He wasn't sure about it so…I asked Pattie myself. She said yes and I asked about I Need You which was in the "Help!" movie but she doesn't really recall the song- I kinda joked (& meant it too) of digging into it and listening to it which she agreed about with a chuckle. Amazingly enough, I was feeling casual around Pattie unlike yesterday where I was shaking around all sorts of emotions! Then I spoke to another 'fest security who was really REALLY!!! CUTE! Oh lordy lordy lordy (paging Jack Tripper from Three's Company) But he lives in Vegas as I live in ....Miami.... so that is a pretty downer deal! Crap. Had dinner at the Odna and had a convo with a couple next to us before going back to our room.

Tomorrow is our final day here in Vegas before we leave back to Florida- it is also the last day of the 'fest but for us it'll be more like a half-a-day. I will be able to see Pattie's final part of her conversation with Martin Lewis. I miss home, I miss Snowball and Missy.

7-3-08
Well at this time I am on the plane headed to Ft. Lauderdale to go home. They have a stupid rule for the first row of coach- purses and bags go in the top shelf thing. What the hell is that all about? Who was the person who came up with that rule? Maybe some uptight paranoid idiot with a strong voice who threaten to boycott. That is normally the reason.

Anyway, Tuesday (the first of July) was the last day of the fest and we kept it short as we thought that we were leaving that night. We saw Pattie talk mostly the era of the '60's to be in London, her time with Photography which she is doing these days. They kept it in the time she was with George rather then expanding with Eric Clapton: reason being that, well, Eric was not a Beatle! She revealed also their favorite films to watch at home (she was the one to put the film in it's projector) and singing Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe" with George singing Sonny's part and Pattie singing Cher's- however they never met them. Also, of course it is pretty known about the love of Monty Python series and also loved to watch Laugh In. As for comedians, Billy Donnelly (did I spell that right?) was their favorite. She talked about home movies that while they were in Hawaii (actually Tahiti) John and George filmed a little movie wearing Cynthia and Pattie's wigs- she has no idea where the film is today! That would be awesome to see! I hope it is in tact- perhaps Cynthia, or Olivia, or Yoko has it…ha, maybe Yoko destroyed it as she seems to enjoy erasing John's pre-Yoko life.

Before Pattie's chat, Mom and I went to the Discussion room where I took place for a round of trivia with Joe Johnson (who I've met previously twice) and Tony Perkins (who've I met previously once). I was runner up by answering two questions (Beatles' second Ed Sullivan appearance whereabouts and their last public performance together but I was out-done by a man who was too quick to raise his hand! Well just as well since we already have the Grand prize: The McCartney Years on DVD.

Afterwards, Mom and I went to the flea market to meet-and-greet- not buy more stuff as we had already packed. I did get a picture with Billy J. Kramer before he binged into another meaty sandwich. My mom also met Mark Hudson and Nancy Lee Andrews. I stuck around with Nancy for a few minutes, wanting to get a few things straight: mainly her relationship with Maureen. Well she did not break them up as they already were estranged however she was named as a cause for Ringo & Maureen's divorce because Ringo asked her to- to protect his children so they wouldn't hate their mother and 'Uncle' George. Eventually they did find out many years later but at the time they were very young. Maureen did like Nancy- she was nice and caring to her children and were friends up until Maureen died with an occasional lunch. In fact, not long after Ringo got together with Barbara, Maureen tried to find Nancy a husband! Holy cow! I asked her about Cynthia; recently, Nancy went out with her and May Pang, having a great time in New York.

Well we started to leave, got a taxi to go to the airport however my mom got our dates mixed up! We were to leave the following day (Wednesday)…I knew that! I KNEW that we were to arrive the same day as the Ringo Starr concert in Ft. Lauderdale but my Mom was convinced that we were leaving day…honestly! Part of me thought that was funny and to gloat but I was pissed off- I had to carry around heavy freakin' bags around!! So we went back to the Mirage hotel to check back in, got in another different hotel room which the bed was MUCH better previously and also, what the hell am I going to do the rest of the day before heading out to the airport? Well went back to gambling and yep, my bad luck continued- I lost…I lost quite a bit of money and that did NOT make me happy. Son of a bitch! So I went to the Beatles LOVE area, plopped on the floor, making sure I was not in the way, and played with my cell phone while singing along Beatle tunes. Then I decided to drink my bottled Coke that had been in my purse most of the day and well, it exploded! Could my day get any worst? (Actually it did but I am not going to tell you- figure it out!). Finally some hours later, grouchy me and my happy Mom (who won some money in Blackjack) went to the airport and some hours later, after security checks and all that wonderful process, boarded our flight back home to which we arrived in the early hours of the morning. Got home, got my car out of the garage, Snowball and Missy hid from us- well Snowball I did see but she didn't want to deal with us- she was mad for leaving them alone. Went on the computer to chat with S-giraffe who was miserable during my absence and then crashed on my bed before my Mom woke me up to get ready for the Ringo concert!

What better way to end the Beatley vacation? To see an actual Beatle! He played What Goes On and Oh My, My, which two songs he rarely ever plays in concert. Also Billy Squier was there playing Stroke (but not Everybody Wants You which I like) and heard a few familiar songs from the other All Starr band. We all got to yell out Happy Birthday to Ringo who I think was touched by that (his birthday is July 7).

Well that's the end of my exciting vacation. Worth to take! Wish I could take home that cute security guard though…too bad I didn't get him to marry me ha ha! Well hey, we were in Vegas with hundreds of quickie wedding chapels…hee hee couldn't resist! Oh well…well anyway he liked heavy music, like the Pantera kind of stuff while I'll go as far as Motley Crue could take me.

P.S. I'm pissed off- ALL of my photos of Pattie, including the one with me and her did not come out at all...damn it...well I guess I'll scan in the items that she signed for me- at least it's still proof that I have met her...I'm still pissed off about it.

Elvis, George, and Me

Originally written in 2004

On May 15th, Saturday, my Grandmother, my Mom, and I started our road trip, first stop to sleep the night: Tallahassee (Florida- since I live in Miami). We got there in early evening and found our way to the hotel with our reserverations. The next day, we went around Tallahassee because about 20 years ago, we actually lived there for a year and my Mom and Grandmother were trying to find where we lived, however we found that they tore down the apartment building and made it a home community. We made our way to Birmingham, Alabama and spent the night. The next day, we made our way to Memphis in order to explore Graceland where Elvis Presley lived. My Grandmother thought that it would be a great idea to do so since it was on our way. We do like Elvis, we may not be major fans of his, but we appreciate his music and what he has done for music- so seeing Graceland was a treat. We didn't exactly went there when we arrived, it was already near evening and we needed to find our hotel. After finding the hotel, we went someplace to eat. The next day- Graceland! We were there for 4 hours, we weren't allowed upstairs because Elvis had never let anyone upstairs unless you live there or you were called up there. So Lisa (his daughter) decided to continue the tradition and the upstairs is closed. However I can't help but wonder if anyone has ever snuck up? I realize while touring the house was that he was real- well, I knew that he existed but on some level, I thought more of a fantasy kind of way. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but that's how I felt while walking in his house. After the house, we went to view his many many cars, had lunch, went to an another little museum of his life- all his old school report cards, some clothes, Elvis and Priscilla's wedding outfits, Lisa's old nursery furniture...and there was even a little showcase of the Beatles! My Mom and I got shirts and keychains, and I got some postcards, little keepsakes and proof that I actually went to Graceland. We didn't take any pictures of inside of the house because my Mom misread the letter saying that there was no flash photography, thinking that there was no photography allowed. Well, the next day, we pulled over before we left and I took picture of the house the best I could, the gate, some little diddies, and my Mom took a picture of the street sign, Elvis Presley Boulveard (I can't spell that)- so we kinda made up for that. Oh! Before we hit Memphis, we were in Tupelo, Mississippi, where Elvis was born. We didn't go into the house but I did manage to take a picture of the house. Anyway, back on track of the story: later, after Graceland, we explored Memphis, finding Beale St. which seemed to be a popular street in Memphis. After we arrived at the hotel with our dinner, we watched Larry King and it was there when we learned the sad news of Tony Randall from the Odd Couple. Early next day, we headed out of Memphis (after we took some shots of Graceland) and made our way to Benton, Illinois where in 1963 Beatle George Harrison was the first Beatle to arrive in the US to visit his sister, Louise. Since then, Louise, who doesn't live in the house anymore yet lives nearby, saved the house from construction into a parking lot and convert it to a Bed & Breakfast Inn called A Hard Day's Nite. She doesn't own it thought, 3 couples do- I met 3 of the people out of six and they were very kind. My Mom and I were in awe! Screw dinner and getting settled in- we wanted to explore and explore we did! There was a room of a mini- musuem of the Beatles...the same room where in 1963, George and his brother Peter slept. Louise had a couch there that she had in her New York apartment in the mid-60s where George sat and slept whenever he visited her when in town- however there's a ribbon across it- you can not sit on it. There was also a BOAC bag that the airlines have given to the Beatles that George left behind. My Mom and I playfully tug-of-war it and I checked to see if there was any "secret" pockets in the bag in case George forgot anything! There was none. Later on, my Grandmother dragged us out of the house and took us to Barnes & Noble and dinner. The next morning, after breakfast made by two of the six owners, my Grandmother left to do some laundry. My Mom and I asked the couple, Jim and Daryl about the couch and they allowed us to sit on it! Jim told us that they did meet the Beatles and even attended a concert- invited by themselves. Later on, Jim and Daryl saw Ringo perform, but they weren't invited- which was okay by them. My mom and I sat on the couch for about 15 minutes, just in a daze. I wanted to take the couch with me back home! We decided to get off of it since my Grandmother didn't want us to be on there (even tho we got permission) so shhhhhh! I took pictures around the house, trying to include everything in. My Grandmother came back and we went out for lunch, searching for birthday presents for my cousin (who's birthday was yesterday) and saw a movie, Laws of Attraction which was pretty good. The next morning, we were all eatting breakfast when out of the blue, someone I didn't expect (neither did my Mom or Grandmother) walked into the front door and Jim and Daryl chimed "Hi Lou!"...Louise Harrison, George's sister! I couldn't believe my eyes. The car was already packed and loaded, with the camera, and my mom was telling me to rush out to get it, but Lou said no- she looked awful (no she didn't). So we decided to respect that and didn't take a picture with her. Instead she came in with a bunch of photos of her and gave each of us an autograph. She even sat down, had some hot tea and chat with us. My mom and I didn't exactly ambushed her with questions- we were just numb, but we did ask a few- mostly of which date was George actually born, the 24th or 25th...She confirmed it- the 25th. February 25, 1943, 10 minutes after midnight. It was a nice chat, she was very nice, sweet about coming in the morning and visiting us. Jim said that the day before, he called her up and told her about my Mom and me being Beatle fans and she came. After about 15 minutes of some stories (not just about George, but herself too) my Grandmother told us that it was time to go. Lou gave all three of us a tight hug (which I couldn't really breathe- but I didn't care) and my Mom and I got some little keepsakes of shirts.  The three of us hit the road- stayed the night in Atlanta, Georgia, and came back home on Saturday night.

Please & Thank You

Originally written on March 21, 2006

In Ellen Degeneres: Here and Now DVD, she said "I wouldn't mind hearing more Please and Thank Yous" and she got an applause. She's right. Please and Thank You are very much appreciated! Admittedly, I was never really one of those that would say Thank You after I receive something. It drove my grandmother nuts and she tried for so many years to drill those pleastantries into my head. Now, I try to make sure I say those things because I've learned that they are appreciated and actually can make you feel good.

Recently I sent over some CDs that my grandmother made and I did not receive one thank you email. This is a couple of months ago and I don't know if she has gotten them? Are they lost in the mail? Did she get them but decided that they were rubbish and threw them away? (uhhh...can send them back you know, my address WAS on the package...) I mean, not even an acknowledgment "I got the cds, Thank you". I'm not expecting a 30 page letter, just a simple sentence with a few less words. That is not a waste of an email. I mean, it cost a fortune to have them send overseas! I could've spent the money on something else, like gas for my car, or a new cd, or something selfish for me.

Now I know why my grandmother bugged the hell out of me to say Please and Thank You, and from that I thank her. It's appreciative and makes a person feel so good!

A Little Tribute to My Grandmother

On November 15, 2006, I read the following at her memorial service...She died five days before on November 10- 8 days shy of her 71st birthday.

I wrote an essay in high school when we were asked to do a paper on someone in our life and wrote about my grandmother. After I read it to her, she loved it and even had it framed. Now I'm using it as my inspiration and guideline dedicated to my grandmother.

She was the kind of person who gets you mesmerized in her true and make-believe stories, took me to the horse races, taught me sewing, and played the piano by ear, and was honest to my personal, and sometimes nosy, questions.

Like any person, she does have her own faults but they were always quickly overlooked. One story that had happened was when I was a toddler and we were living in Tallahassee at the time and my mom, who loved my little curls, told grandma that "do no cut her hair" (as we know, she always loved doing something with hairdos) and then she left for college for the day. Well, needless to say, my grandmother didn't listen and cut my hair- only except it didn't look right. So she took me to the see the hairdresser and got me a cute outfit and matching hat- realizing what she has done and hoping to hide it! We were home in time when my mom came home and of course she said "aw cute outfit" and took off the hat and was horrified to what she had saw. She was angry at her mother, who was completely understandable…oh, and my mom did forgive her in a few days!

My grandmother also had a wicked sense of humor that has passed down to us. I remember when I decided to spend the weekend at home during college and she picked me up- and out of the whim decided to visit my Aunt Nette. She told me to call her up, but omit the fact that we were going to visit her. So while talking to my Aunt, I made it sound like I was still in college and just calling to chat. Whenever I wanted to hang up when it got to that "time to go" time, my grandmother kept signaling me to keep on going, so I did. We managed to get to my aunt's house and still talking to her on the phone, we knocked on her door. She told me that she has to go because there was someone at the door and after we hung up, she opened the door and the look on her face was priceless- shocked and happy and we got her!

A few years ago, my grandmother took my mom and I on a road trip to see Elvis Presley's home Graceland in Memphis, Tennessee and to Benton, Illinois to spend a few nights at a house where George Harrison once stayed with his sister before the Beatles first came to America- knowing that my mom and I would absolutely love the experience as we are both major Beatles fans. The last day we were in Benton, Illinois and having breakfast there on the day we left to go back home, we were all in for an exciting shock- George's sister walked into the house because she was told by our hosts that we were big Beatles fans and she came by to see us. My mom's and my eyes widen and our jaws dropped- we couldn't believe it. My grandmother seeing our reactions, spoke up greeting her and we all got into this conversation, mostly about the Beatles of course, but it felt like we knew her (which, in a way, my mom and I did). Then I asked a casual question, a question that concerned me yet a question that gave my grandmother the hoots throughout the trip and to the end of her life when I asked Louise "How's Harry and Peter", her and George's two brothers. My mom said later that if I hadn't said that, she would've asked that question, but no matter what, it just cracked her up. It was funny a few times but eventually it did get on my nerves! I was asking out of concern as I felt that that Beatles were like my extended family (my mom feels the same way).

She also played the piano by ear since the discovery of her talent when she was 18 months old. She played with a flow and always got never ending requests thrown in by my Mom and me. Making 5 records in the past with her recordings and I take credit of doing three covers of her c.ds.

One thing I know for sure is that my grandmother loved her children- Jane, Jeannette, and Pete. She took so much pride to the fact that they were so close and got along so well and a bonus pride that her seven grandchildren were close as well- despite the 13 years age difference between me to Monica and Robby. In a way, I believe she took that credit herself, knowing that she loves her brothers and sister- I remember her telling me that her mother always told her children to stick together, no matter what. She would tell me stories about her mother Jeannette- of whom she named my Aunt after, the name that I was given to as well.

Grandma, now that you are gone in person, but you are not gone in spirit and in my heart. I will miss you and love you but I do know that you are now with the Lord and reunited with your parents and probably talking a mouthful already to John and George of what big fans my mom and I are of theirs.  I also know that you will be looking down at us, smiling or shaking your head at whatever decisions we come across yet looking forward to the day we will all be reunited.

Santa Claws & Rico

Originally written on August 24, 2011

About two weeks after Snowball's disappearance, my Mom and I decided to adopt two new cats from the animal shelter. Some time ago we even thought of one day to promise to adopt an adult cat because they need homes too. You would always hear the sad story of adults being harder to adopt compared to kittens/puppies. I didn't want to be one of those people, especially know that after a short while, those adults would be put down to sleep all because no one wants to take them home, despite being healthy or home-trained. Once the decision was made, mom and I went to the animal shelter and we checked out all the cats...and I even found an all white one that looked just like Snowball...only except the cat was named Blizzard and it was a HE! Nope, not her. The heart sank because I was also on a lookout for her in case someone thought to bring her in. We've decided on a kitten and an adult cat so we looked and looked- first was the kitten. There were a few potentials and I was looking at the top cages, oohing and awwing, but I kept feeling this paw holding on to my hand and licking it! I looked down and there were a few more kittens in the bottom cage, wanting my attention. This one cat just kept licking me, holding on to my hand and already I was bitten by the love bug...but I had more cats to look at and I didn't want to make that final decision just yet. I checked his collar for his ID number, making a mental note. We looked at more cats, adults as well, until Mom stopped dead in her tracks staring into an adult cat's face- it looked just like her own childhood cat Misty with the same colorings. Mom was bitten by the love bug. We took note of the adult cat's ID and brought it to the people who then had us wait (ugh!) for a good hour or so while they dealt with other costumers before us and then eventually taking our two new cats to have them checked out, be given a little chip to ID them in case anybody brought them in as missing. We already knew what their names will be. Mom really liked the name Santa Claws as a play of Santa Claus, she thought it was cute and it was in her mind for quite some time so the name was set. I picked Rico after Penquins of Madagascar because he was my favorite penquin. Rico the Penquin didn't talk much (he couldn't really, only can make out a word or two but other than that it's rambling) plus he also stores all the Penquins' needs for their adventures or everyday use in his stomach- he would barf it up for anyone who needed something.

Santa Claws was two, she turned 3 in June, the same month we adopted her and Rico. Rico was 2 months old when we adopted him and was a stray, his original name was Champ, probably given by the animal shelter. Santa Claws, her orignial name was Spice and that's the name she will never be called, probably stirs up bad memories for her. We discovered by just feeling her body alone that she had been through hell with her previous owners. Her skin under the fur feels like it's been through the ringer with bumps and whiplashes. One time I was rubbing her tummy and her ribs felt weird, not like what ribs should feel like. I had Ingrid feel them and with her knowledge of these kinds of things as well as owning a past-abused dog herself, she knew that Santa's ribs were self-healed. My mom even noticed that Santa's tail is not quite right- probably been stepped on and I don't mind by accidental purposes. That first week we got her, I innocently walked into the bathroom and found Santa in the bathroom's sink which I thought was so cute! But I saw the look in her eyes and I have never seen that look before in a cat's eyes- her pupils, instead of being oval with sharp pointed ends, they were circles. I've learned that their eyes get like that when they get TERRIFIED. She was TERRIFIED...but I comforted her, she had no reason to feel terrified, she's in a good home. It took a good two weeks before she started to venture out of Mom's closet more to explore. Now, it's been two months later and there's such a big change in Santa. I think she now knows that she's in a good home and she's here to stay. Santa did take me and Ingrid in but was wary with my mom; we all assumed that it could be because of the previous owner...Mom thinks it's because of her dark hair but I think that's not the case: I have dark hair and Santa is fine with me. I think, and Ingrid thinks this as well, that Santa was afraid of Mom due to Mom's overweight gain. I think the previous owner was an overweight person so Santa's afraid. But these days, and I'm glad to say, Santa has been warming up to my mother. Ironically, Santa does love Mom's room a lot- she's in there a lot of times- she'll visit my room and hang out for a while but a good 80% of the time she would be found in mom's room! I believe that by Christmas time of this year, Santa will be my Mom's best friend, glue to her hip.

Rico is a great little guy but he can be, pardon my french, a little shit. Quite a number of times he has peed in my beanbag- not happy about that and I had to shove that thing into the washing machine! Now I cover my beanbag with throw pillows to keep him from using it as his own little litter box. He has also peed in my clean clothes in the laundry basket that were waiting for me to put away (you can blame my procastination on that one) but it really upset me because he was a type of cat that would use the laundry basket full of clothes as a sleeping bed, not a litter box! (Snowball used to use the laundry as a bed, Missy occasionally too) So I had to redo my clothes, not once but twice! At different times of course...Rico also can poop out some real good stinkers. My girls (Snowball, Missy, and Santa Claws) have done stinkers before that would drift to a room, but Rico's, oh man, that can cover the WHOLE HOUSE!!!! I'm not kidding! So whenever he does his business, one of us would be sure to quickly go in there to cover it with baking soda to kill the smell. How can such a little thing can creat such a BIG smell? That baffles me! Harri LOVES Rico, I think Harri thinks of Rico as HIS kitten, we even went as far as saying that Harri is Rico's father- Harri has been known to give Rico the "I" tooth to keep him in line, to behave himself whenever Rico gets really hyper and doesn't know when to quit it. They also have slept together, even cuddled a few times! Wow. Harri also lets Rico get away with murder when it comes to attacking his tail or his nose or whatever, but I do believe that Harri knows that Rico is very young and means no harm but he does get carried away. Harri is also very protective of Rico- whenever he sees Santa lurking by, he's quick to stand by his little buddy.

But I love my little boy and I love my little girl. Sure they are not Snowball but I do see Snowball, and Missy, in their characters. I think of Rico as Snowball, Jr. most of all while Santa reminds me a lot of Missy but with a little Snowball thrown in. But most important, both Santa and Rico are themselves, they are their own person in fur coats.

My First Cat: Snowball

Originally written on August 24, 2011

On May 23, 2011, it was overall a normal day- a day that I don't remember at all because it was just so ordinary...until that evening, I can only remember one final minute with my 16 year old cat Snowball. She wanted to go outside, she was demanding it, she was trying to lead me to the door. I thought she wanted to go in the backyard that is fenced in. I opened the sliding glass door, she peered out but nope, that's not where she wanted to go. Snowball then lead me to the front door; my mom and our roommate were both watching TV and I was getting dinner ready. I opened the front door and off she went. I continued on with my cooking, unaware that that would be the last time I would ever see my cat. I pretty much forgotten that Snowball was outside as the evening continued, I supposed I assumed that my mom or roomie would let her back in since I did tell them "Snowball's outside" and they did saw me open the door for her. So I went to bed...until I jolted awake "Is Snowball inside???" I checked around the house as quietly as I could but nothing. She must have been still outside, waiting to come inside and prepare myself for a bitch-out- I swing open the door...no cat. Snowball? I got my shoes and from then on, I searched my entire community looking for my cat, quietly calling her name because I didn't want to wake anyone up. But at that moment I wasn't really worried- this has happened before and she always came home. After I covered the gated neighborhood I figured she was really mad at me and refused to come in for not letting her in or something. I couldn't go back to sleep though so I figured I would wait a while and hope to hear her cry, even opening the window a smidge so I can hear her cries. When my mom woke up, I told her that Snowball's still outside and hasn't come home yet- I went to bed while my mom took over the waiting. She even left the front door open so that Snowball can just walk in. Roomie woke up around late morning to take her dog, Harri, out to pee but he ran out the front door; Mom was outside talking to a neighbor and Roomie chased after him. I heard the commotion and went outside, telling Roomie that Snowball's missing. We both started searching right there, calling for her name. Nothing.

For the next 3 days we searched the neighborhood, expanding to the whole area basically. I even made flyers, asked dog walkers and people coming home from work. We used Harri to help with our search, using Snowball's little fur-ball that I saved after brushing her fur one day and he pulled us in all kinds of directions. We kept our windows cracked open just in case she came home and cried. Every hour or so, one of us would venture out of the house to look around for another check in case we would see Snowball casually walking on the sidewalk from her adventure. I had vivid dreams, even daydreams, of finding Snowball and holding her in my arms, so vivid that I could actually feel her...but then I would wake up holding my pillow tightly to my chest. I never have felt my bed feel so empty before in my life. I was so worried, so scared, so many 'What If's' were circling in my head
What if someone took her?
What if that someone is taking care of her?
What if that someone is abusing her?
Snowball can be very feisty and one may not know how to handle, or their own mood swings so What if they were scaring her so they can control her?
What if a big animal- say a dog- managed to get a hold of her and killed her?
What if a possum or a raccoon managed to get her?
Snowball was 16 years old, she may have been feisty and would get into a fight to protect her home as well as herself but she was also getting up there, her reflexes weren't really as quick as they once were but she was still sharp as a tact
What if she felt so left out in our family (which is completely UNtrue) that she decided to leave us?
What if she walked away to die?
Snowball did have a tumor in her stomach area, but we had it tested and it was beign...but it grew...but we thought it was just those fatty tumors...but what if it became a REAL tumor that got fatal? That last week I had with her, I discovered a small circle patch of fur missing at her hind leg that was dark pink and had puss on it...What if that killed her? On May 24th, I had planned to call the vet about that tumor to have it taken out.
What if Snowball knew of my plans and decided to make her grand escape so she wouldn't go to the vet?
What if Snowball knew that this was it and went away to die?
What if someone took her and killed her?
What if someone took her and she died on her own?
Bottom line is: I wanted her home, dead or alive
Eventually we all came to the conclusion that Snowball did indeed went away to die.
I had a weird experience not long after that. One day I went outside to get something from my car and was greeted by a ghastly smell- the smell of a dead animal. I know that smell anywhere since I've seen roadkill and you can just never forget that kind of smell. It's sick. I was also on alert for that smell because I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would lead me to my cat. Well anyway, that fleeting idea came to my head and I started to follow it and nothing. Now, that dead animal smell is very lingering, it can drift for a good length. Hmm okay not walking forward is where the smell is so I went back to my front door where I originally first smelled the smell- maybe it was in a backyard- even a neighbor's- but that's where the weird part comes in: I couldn't smell that smell anymore. I went back and forth, there was no way in hell I could've lost that smell! But it seemed like I did and I went back in my house baffled. I didn't even get whatever it was out of my car because it wasn't important anymore. Maybe it was my sign that Snowball's dead? I had been begging for a sign from God, from Snowball herself, from Missy, from my Grandmother, to just give me a sign- it could be in my dream, it could be a chopped paw in a package demanding ransom- I would've taken anything to know what happened to my cat. I still do.

I do know that it's a natural thing for a cat or a dog to do when they are dying. Probably more so so that we wouldn't have to see them in pain, in suffering, dying. I do believe, always, that Snowball loved me to death. She was my companion, my best friend, my confident, my second mother who told me what to do "feed me, let me outside, clean my litter box, pet me, play with me", my sister, heck I've even joked that she was my wife! I've never encountered a cat like her- if I came home really late (or anybody like my mom and Roomie), she would be right there giving you an earful "where were you? Do you have any idea what time it is??", she would also talk to you, she would also greet you when you come home and Snowball would always expect a greeting back- "Hi Snowball!". She had such a sense of humor, she played pranks, she was also very smart. I believe she would have been a great mother if we'd allowed her to breed (which we didn't, she got fixed). Although it was Snowball's House, I know that she did love Missy and she did love Harri. Snowball did witness Mom and me taking care of Missy when she was ill/dying so perhaps that made her decide to leave us behind. In March, she got sick (too much calcium) and when Snowball got better, her attitude towards Roomie had change a lot- they became late night walking companions, Snowball let her pet her more, she even started to play with her more with her favorite toy (the gold string) and tapping between the stairs' rails. Before the illness, Snowball was pretty wary of Roomie, playing nasty tricks on her or not letting her go up the stairs to the point when Roomie would yell out either my name or Mom's to help her get Snowball out of the way to let her and Harri pass. But Roomie loved her at first sight- they were actually a lot alike in many ways to the point where my mom and I said that Snowball was Roomie in a white fur coat.

I think the hardest part in all this is that I never actually got to say goodbye to Snowball. I got to say goodbye to Missy- and yes it was hard- but I wanted Missy to see me and Mom as the last people she saw before she died giving her some sort of comfort and I always thought Snowball would've gotten the same thing. But at least with Missy I got closure, I also have her little urn. With Snowball, I didn't get closure and I don't have any of her remains other than her little furball that I combed out of her one evening, never thinking that it would one day come in handy and special to me. I will never know what happened to Snowball. Although I do believe she has passed on, there's a tiny little hope in me that keeps my eyes peeled whenever I'm out and about, looking for a white cat. I look at roadkill more closely, wondering "is that my cat?" and then feel my heart torn apart of relief and disappointment when I find out it's not. I do know that in heaven we will be reunitied...but it would be nice to know where her remains are resting at...