Sunday, January 15, 2017

Daughter & Mother Eternal Bond

Carrie Fisher
 When news first broke that Carrie Fisher had a heart attack while on the plane and was in stable but critical condition, I prayed for her. I was hoping that she would survive- there are heart attack survivors. 2016 had been a doozy of a year, probably more celebrity deaths than usual. It was s doozy for me personally too (at this time, I am keeping that to myself. I don't want everything about me broadcast on the Internet!). Carrie still had a lot to live for. More books to be released. Another 2 Star Wars movies (one she managed to complete; the other will have to find a way to go on without Princess Leia). More acting jobs. Carrie lived through Christmas. Her last Christmas. Still in a coma. She never woke up. Spent with her brother, sisters, daughter, and mother around her bedside. She had so many people pulling for her, wanting to survive. But... a few short days later, Carrie succumbed. She joined her father, Eddie Fisher, in Heaven.
Debbie Reynolds
   About 24 hours later, news came in that her mother, Debbie Reynolds, was rushed to the hospital on a possible stroke. In the evening, her death was announced. As it turned out, Debbie's brain hemorrhage and she had no chance. Many, including me, believe she died of a broken heart. Carrie was Debbie's first born- no question that she loved her son, Todd, just the same- but there's something about firstborns that make the bond even more special. Debbie wanted more time for Carrie during those four lingering days. The next day, she told Todd that she missed Carrie and wanted to be with her. I don't think Debbie actually wanted to die- she still had her son and her granddaughter, Carrie's daughter, Billie Lourd, to be there for. She was a grieving mother- I am sure all mothers who lost a child have felt this way. Debbie was no different. She raised Carrie and Todd on her own, literally. Their father, Eddie, drifted in and out- depending who you believe of why. Not long after she said those words, Debbie went unconscious, soon died in the hospital with her son by her side. Poor Todd and Billie, they had to plan two funerals. Yet, they were comforted by the thought that Carrie and Debbie are together again. Carrie's (half) sisters, Joely and Trisha Fisher, felt that Debbie didn't have long to live after Carrie died. Debbie probably also wanted to piss off Eddie by coming too.
I was out on errands when I received a text from a friend with news of Carrie's death. I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. I wouldn't say I am a huge fan, but I like Carrie. She had a great sense of humor and a talented actress and writer. I had to take more than one moments to pull myself together to breathe while I was barely breathing. It didn't help that I also had Aunt Flo visiting me that week. It was a sad day. The next day, it was in the evening, when I again got a text from the same friend with news of Debbie's death. I didn't gasp for breath as I did with Carrie, but my heart sank. I felt so bad for Todd and Billie, Joely and Trisha.
Rest in Peace Mary Frances Reynolds & Carrie Frances Fisher

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Invisible in Chaos

Surrounded by people
They say they want to talk
Yet not being talked to
They say they are interested
Nobody to listen
They say I am included
All I got was short attention span
They are all talking
To each other and crisscross
But not to me
I might as well be invisible
I think about sneaking off
Without saying goodbye
Nobody would miss me
Or noticed I am not there
Barely an acknowledgement
Why do I bother going?
I thought it would be fun
I was wrong
They say they are concerned
Not really
Do they really care?
Maybe pretending to
Lesson learned
I am happy by my lonesome

Written in 2016

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Social Media Pet Peeves

I have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr (MySpace too but I admittedly abandoned it once it got out of fashion and it got hard to navigate with so many "upgrades" it went through).

Understandably with social media, entertainment fans tend to set up an account dedicated to a favorite entertainer. I myself am guilty of making a few fan accounts of my own. However, on Instagram especially, a person will start using the fan account in question and turn it into a personal account. I can't stand that! Sure, they will post a picture to go with the account theme but the caption would be completely different. Instead of reading a fact, debunking a myth, sharing a quote or whatever, I would read something like "I got a big test tomorrow and barely studied!" or "I think my boyfriend is cheating on me, so I am cutting his head out of my pictures" or something. I apologize but if I want to read something personal about the person, then I'd follow their own account to get their own life story and dilemmas. But no, I am following a fan account that likes to talk about themselves rather than their subject. I have sworn to myself that I will never turn my fan accounts into my life story. It's what my personal account/profile is for. I am okay with expressing opinions and musings about the entertainer in question because it's about the entertainer!

Friday, November 11, 2016

Driving Pet Peeves

I hate when I am driving and all of the sudden a car on the opposite side of the road in a turning lane would look like it's heading right at you! That scares me and without fail I would quickly maneuver my car to avoid getting hit. Can't that driver wait until I am completely out of the way? It takes a couple of seconds, it wouldn't kill them! When I need to make a turn without a traffic light, I wait until I have a nice gap so I can go and not be hit.

Another thing that bugs me is that I would be on the turning lane, waiting to turn but it would take awhile when an apparently dare driver honks to say Go! But an incoming car would be coming quickly and you just know that if you do go then you will get hit. Geez, I will go as I damn will please! I am not risking my life so that the car behind me can be first in line. If don't like it, go around and try yourself.

95% of the time, I like to make my turns and U-turns at the light. Feels more safer.

At a parking lot, I would be backing out of the parking space, thinking I am safe with no one behind me (or someone who wants the space but gave you back up room is fine too) when all of the sudden, a car would drive by! Slam the brakes! What the hell???? Didn't that driver see me backing up? Rude! Couldn't at least politely stop and let me finish backing up so I can leave.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

General Hospital Flashback: Skye & Luke

"There's that chemistry that we have as actors that they can't help but write in. We can't help but play it even when it's not written. Tony and I like each other so much, and it translates in how well we work together"

"What Skye had with Luke was immature love. They'd never make a sacrifice for the other or be equal in any way. He was bad for her and she knew it. But they 'get' each other."

"Unfortunately, I didn't get to see Tony Geary, who was away while I was there. It's always a treat to see him."
Robin Christopher (about Tony Geary)

Friday, October 7, 2016

Driving Miss Ego

Mariska Hargitay has played Detective/Sergeant/Lieutenant Olivia Benson for 18 years now on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I have been watching as a regular and loyal viewer since around season 5. In fact, Casey Novak was my first ADA and I had to adjust the fact that there was another ADA (Alexandra Cabot) before her when I watched repeats! Anyway, during that time, Olivia didn't really annoy me. In fact, she was a favorite along with her partner, Elliot Stabler. Although I may have been one of the few who did not want to see Olivia and Elliot together romantically (I loved his wife Kathy), I thought they did have a good partnership. It was about the time of season 8 when Olivia went downhill for me. Nothing against Mariska, who really loves her character, but I think it was more TPTB (The Powers That Be) who wanted Olivia front and center as Mariska was winning awards, thus forgetting that the show was an ensemble cast. It became the Elliot and Olivia show. Not complaining about Elliot (although I am sure he has his own complaints from other viewers) because he did have a life outside of work. His marriage was going through a crisis, up and down with separation, reuniting, new baby, older children getting into trouble. Meanwhile, Olivia pretty much stopped dating, I do believe she fell in love with Elliot and knew he would never be hers so got wrapped up in her job. During season 8, Olivia was pretty moody. I call it the PMS season.

Then, after season 12, Christopher Meloni/Elliot Stabler departed from the show. Nick Amaro became her partner and Olivia started to finally grow. After 4 seasons, in the season finale when Nick announced his own departure, Olivia reassured Nick that he was a great partner to her. She grew while with Elliot, she was stuck. While there's some viewers that protested online, I think Olivia is right about that 100%! While with Nick, Olivia had two romantic relationships- even moving in with one, Brian Cassidy who was originally in season 1 where they had a very brief relationship. After breaking up with Brian, Olivia became involved with baby boy Doe after finding him in an illegal trafficking ring. With her biological clock ticking, she fell in love and eventually adopted Noah after many kinks (finding out who his biological parents were). Now, Olivia finally has a child and is  now in a relationship with Ed Tucker. She has a life outside of work! Yay! I am genuinely happy for Olivia.

But then, there's Olivia's work ethic. When Captain Cragen left for retirement, he put Olivia in charge. While Olivia is dedicated to the unit, I think she's too dedicated. I do not think she is fit to be the leader. Personally, I think Elliot would've been better but he is not on anymore. Even John Munch would've been a better fit. Not Olivia. Being on SVU has warped her mind. Fin Tutuola has been on almost as long as Olivia but still has a steady head. He knows what cases to pursue and what not, especially if he was told by the higher brass.
In a recent episode (Impostor), Olivia thought a man using a different name and identity to have sex with vulnerable and desperate women who were trying to get their child into college was rape. I disagree. Rape is sex that someone doesn't agree to but is forced- it is an act of power. In this episode, the "victims" were willing participants, the woman called him up, they were kissing and fell on bed. He asked her if she was sure and she said yes. Not rape. In fact, she thought it was best sex ever as she text him that. But some minutes later, she found out he wasn't who he said to be and text him that he raped her. When Olivia spoke to her about it, she did say she didn't mean the way it sounded. But Olivia was convinced it was rape. Fraud yes, rape? No. Even Fin and Amanda Rollins weren't too sure. At first, ADA Barbra wasn't too sure but pursued it anyway. Even the Judge and the Defense Attorney thought it was a waste of time. I agree with them! But Olivia is too blind and pushed it forward. Sure, the man was scum, but not a rapist. I guess for Olivia, one night stands that provide no names exchanged is also rape? In other episodes before, even in the Stabler era, Olivia has trouble of understanding the word 'no', especially from her bosses- Cragen and the higher brass. Whenever she's told to drop it, she doesn't. Usually, it opens a can of uncontrollable worms and compromises the main case or something. I get Olivia doesn't like to be told what to do, who does? But when there's more than one people who tell her No, she goes for it. Very determined, too much. It's getting tiring. Yet, if Amanda or Sonny Carisi gets over the top and pretty much do the same thing as Olivia has consistently done, they are bad cops and she wants nothing more than to fire them (especially Amanda) if SVU wasn't so short staffed. Pretty hypocrisy to me.