But I Always Felt I Was

I wasn't around when the Beatles met
I wasn't around when the Beatles made their first record
I wasn't around when the Beatles first landed in the United States
I wasn't around when the Beatles made their first movie
I wasn't around when the Beatles performed their last concert
I wasn't around when the Beatles broke up
But I always felt I was


I wasn't around when John Lennon died
I was born nearly a year later
I have mixed feelings about that
Half is glad, because I didn't get to feel the raw pain
Half is sad, because I wasn't around during his lifetime
But I always felt I was


When December 8 comes around
my house grows gloomy
my mom remembers
the anniversary of his tragic death
she has this sadness in her
the radio is filled with his music
I sing along
the TV is filled with footage of his life
I watched
but then, I feel the same sadness that my mom feels
I started to cry
because the pain is that strong


Then November 29 comes around
it felt like a normal day
but something is missing
then I found out why
the next day, it was announced
George Harrison died
It was during the aftermath of September 11th
it was the only day that no one spoke about a war
instead it was quiet with only music playing
realizing that there are only two left


I never felt so empty
I never met them
yet I always felt that they were a part of my family
I grew up listening to them since birth
I spent most of my life learning about their lives
I managed to see Ringo Starr in concert twice*
I fought my way to see Paul McCartney in concert
despite my life's schedule
but I would do anything to see one in concert


Now, I still feel that empty pain
Every time I see a movie or listen to a song
it's there and it won't go away
But then again, the Beatles could never leave
there may be only two left with us
but there will always be the Fab Four among us
Forever


Written in 2002
*update: I have seen Ringo Starr now 4 times and also Paul McCartney 4 times. Other than that, nothing else has changed. Still all valid.

Stairs Are My Enemy

Flashback: when I was 12 and in the 6th grade, it was raining and dark on a school day. At the time, it had those “portable” classrooms as an expansion to the main school. The classroom had these steel-like stairs. I suppose I thought I was rather invincible and so as we were leaving to go to the cafeteria for lunch, I jumped one by one on the stairs. On the final step down, I slipped and fell. I got up and proceeded to follow my class for lunch. At first, I didn't feel any pain- perhaps I was in shock and denial. During lunch, I felt my left foot starting to throb in pain. I wasn't too worried, after all, I expected pain from that kind of fall so I ignored it. Not long after we returned to class, the pain grew worst enough to go to the office to call my mom to pick me up. I had to go in the dark rain to and back, mind you. I called my mom and she left work to pick me up. She always been puzzled on why didn't I call my grandmother? She was living down the street (across from where we lived) so yes, it did make sense for me to call the closest relative for help. Except, I didn't want my grandmother. I wanted my mommy. Well, my mom worked pretty far, maybe 40 minutes away and had to go through the dark rain to get to me… it was at that moment that my mom decided we needed to move so she could be reasonable closer in case of another emergency. I went back to class to wait for the intercom announcement (that was always cool to hear your name over the speaker telling you to go home… not so much to report to the office). Anyway, Mom took me to the hospital. She wasn't happy either. Not just because of the long distance from work to school, but on how I wasn't wailing in pain. I guess she thought my foot was broken and heard, “When I broke my leg, I cried!” However, I didn't think my left foot was broken and was okay when I didn't move it. But something was wrong! At the hospital, I did X-rays and my foot was sprained. It got wrapped and I was given crutches. I took a good week off from school and was watched over by my grandmother.

Recent: on Thursday night (Jan. 24th) a slight deja Vu happened… this time, it was in a home, on carpet covered stairs, and I wasn't jumping. I was concentrating on my chores, which was to take out the garbage for the next day’s pickup. I was about midway down when I lost my balance, slipped, and slid down the stairs, landing on my right foot. It hurt so bad right away! No delayed pain or shock, it was instant. I got comfy on the couch, got my foot elevated with an ice pack. It was very clear that I wasn't going to work the next day… On Saturday, I couldn't take the pain anymore as it felt much worst, I was getting to the point of believing my foot was broken, so to Urgent Care I went with my mom meeting me there. I even drove there myself, using my painful foot although my left helped pushing down the brake pedal. As it turns out, my foot wasn't broken. It was a bad sprain. I was given bandage, a splint with icy gels in, and prescription medication, as well as orders to rest. No work for me until Friday.

To this day, I've never broke any bones, but both my feet have been through sprains (25 years apart). Thanks to my enemy: the stairs.

Queen of Hearts, The People's Princess, and Mother

I was 15 years old (almost 16), living in an apartment with my mom. It was late in the evening, I could hear and see the TV from my bedroom and overheard something about Princess Diana being in a car crash. She was in critical condition... It wasn't very long until the news came in that she died. That prompted me to go from my room to the living room to watch. Mom was a little freaked out strange to see her shared birth year as Princess Diana plus the death year (1961-1997) while I realized that I was the same age as Prince William. Instantly, my thoughts, prayers, just about everything went to her two boys that now had to go on without their mother by their side. The following morning, the local paper had the biggest and darkest font I've never seen before: DIANA DEAD. I still have that newspaper. 

The day of her funeral, I got up early to watch. When I saw that unforgettable small bouquet in front with the card that said Mummy, I cried. I did shed tears before during that week, but that moment I bawled my eyes out. I always thought she was beautiful, worthy to have a happily ever after; I remember Diana being in just about every imaginable media out there, before and after her divorce. 

While Prince Charles was not husband of the year to Diana, I do genuinely believe that her death devastated him. All of the sudden, he became a single parent. I do think he did a splendid job with William and Harry, from the way they are today- they're very close as royals could be. Diana will never be forgotten!

My Hero, My Mentor, My Mirror

Written and published in January of 2017

Joely and Carrie

On the eve before my sister Carrie took to the sky in the silver bird that would be her transport to her dramatic and untimely end, we had a long conversation. We spoke of love, age, our children and a dozen other subjects.

When I say spoke, I mean we texted each other on our smartphones, she in London and I in Laguna Beach. But even via text, and oceans apart, we could still hear the sound of each other's voice, that distinct Fisher timber that was full of mutual admiration. I clung to her every word, as I usually did, as we all did. Talking to Carrie always made me feel more interesting by osmosis. She expressed her amazement and pride regarding the anniversary of my marriage — 20 years this past New Year’s Eve — and compared my two-decade commitment to her own somewhat less steady love life. She threw in the word “crickets.” Quintessentially Carrie.

My sister would have wanted a dramatic exit; she just might have wished for another couple of decades before making one. She told me she wanted to see this political horror play out. She likely would have crafted a sharp, piercing novel about her non-conventional goings on with this national nightmare as the backdrop. But mostly, she would have wanted us to celebrate her life, her words and for Billie to be whole. In time she will be. She is smart and soulful and magic.

We spoke of our dear mothers, Connie [Stevens] and Debbie [Reynolds], both of whom have been fragile in the past year and how our roles as daughters had changed. My own belief is that our mutual father, Eddie Fisher, was everything you heard about him: charming, wildly talented, a playboy, a gambler, lost but he gravitated toward the spectacular in wives.

In 1977, Connie bought a house in Malibu. We walked out onto this tiny deck — sand and salt everywhere — and noticed that there was a swimming pool next door. Connie asked, "Who the hell has a swimming pool on the beach?" The real estate agent giggled and said, "Debbie Reynolds.” So we spent the better part of our childhoods as neighbors, our two families right next door. I adored Mama Debbie — she was such a character. And I got another sister and a brother in the deal, right there on the beach! Eddie even came to see us all together ... once.

During our transcontinental chat before Carrie's fateful flight from London to L.A., we promised we’d spend Christmas together. It’s a promise we kept, although not in a way either of us had anticipated. Throughout the holiday, I sat by her side in a hospital room filled with a cacophony of sounds made by the machines keeping her barely alive. Debbie, of course, was there as well. She told me that she’d been praying for more time. More time for Carrie, for herself and for Connie. I knew if those prayers weren’t answered, Debbie might very well join her daughter.

Of course, Debbie loved nothing more than the spotlight. And I can imagine Carrie is having a laugh right now, rolling her eyes at the kind of crazy ending that only happens in Shakespearn tragedies … and Fisher novels. Carrie’s mom has once again stolen the show, with the ultimate “twirled up” joke (see Postcards From theEdge).

I told both my sister Fish and mama Debs about how I had just returned to the stage. I told Carrie how I wished she could see me running around, singing my tits off and shaking my moneymaker and sent her a snap of me in my cat suit to which she replied, "Dance as long as you can...then keep dancing...but remember to change your shoes."

You all lost Princess Leia and Carrie Fisher; I lost my hero, my mentor, my mirror. My brother Todd has lost his sister and his mother, whom he has said will lay to rest together. There is no universe where these ladies are not due their appropriate pedestals, and both will be memorialized in separate ceremonies in coming weeks. My sister Tricia Leigh and I vow to be whatever our niece Billie needs us to be. We will pick up the saber, use the force ... whatever. We will honor these two magical people who have left the tribe in the way they lived, with grandeur and grace. I want them back but since I know that is not possible, I will soldier on. I have changed my shoes and will keep dancing to honor these magic people.

You can't "right" this shit, but you can "write "it. And do I have a hell of a book in me.

From Crush To Disgust

It's a sad thing to realize that the man who I once had a massive crush on in the 1990s turned out to be an arrogant insensitive prick.

Once upon a time as a teenager in the 1990s, I used to obsessively watched reruns of Happy Days, Charles in Charge, and the first two seasons of Diagnosis Murder to enjoy Scott Baio and fantasized us being married. I also knew then that Scott was quite a ladies man and he did have that arrogance but at the time it was tolerable. Maybe because we didn't have social media at the time- the internet was still new yet popular as it is today. Now, especially with Twitter, I learned since that Scott is even more arrogant and condescending than I thought. Actually, he was starting to fall from my “stars in eyes” since early 2000s when he did that reality show of still being single and then later experiencing pregnancy while settling down with his wife, Renee Sloan. It was a wake up call to realize what an actual kind of man Scott is: I knew he was quite a ladies man (Heather Locklear, Erin Moran, Pamela Anderson, Nicolette Sheridan, to name the most famous few) but damn, he might as well be crowned as the ultimate man-whore!

Then things got pretty quiet: although I got pretty disgusted by his Playboy ways and lost some respect but I held on to some hope. I did give him the benefit of being a dedicated husband to Renee as well as being a good father to his daughter. Life went on.

Last year, everything started to change for the worst. Scott became a loud supporter for Donald Trump when he became candidate for President of the United States. He says he had always been a Republican ever since he registered to vote. OK, fine, since Scott registered in the late 1970s, there's been Presidents Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, and now Trump. The Bushes didn't get much favoritisms from America, but ever since Trump took office their images and reputations have taken a much positive light! I am going to hold off on my rant about Trump another time… Anyway, I don't really truly care who you or anyone else vote for- it is your right as it is mine. Same goes for Scott. He went as far as to speak at one of the rallies, praising Trump, who is, in my opinion, unfit to become President and clearly hasn't read our Constitution nor the Bill of Rights. Scott stood faithfully with Trump during his sexual harassment scandals… I guess a ladies man stands by it's own kind. Scott also showed his disrespectful attitude towards Hillary Clinton, going as far to call her a cunt (most likely the worst name-call to call a woman). Yet, when President Bill Clinton was accused of sexual harassment, he was the bad guy in Scott’s eyes. Scott also claimed on his Twitter account that he “always” treated women right. Really, Scott? Have you seen your own reality show called Scott Baio is 45… And Still Single? One woman from Scott’s romantic past accused him of giving her a STD that ruined her life financially and ability to have a family. And there's also his ex girlfriend and former co-star Erin Moran.

Erin. She sadly passed away in April of 2017. When she was on his reality show, they somewhat made peace from their brief romantic fling during Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi. After both shows ended, Erin hit a rough patch after few bit parts became far and few in between until nothing. Then, by 2010, Erin's home foreclosed so she and her husband went to stay with his mother in a trailer park in Indiana. It's fair to say that she hit rock bottom after having a disagreement with her mother-in-law that she and her husband went to live in a hotel until they eventually went back to the trailer park where she recently died. Erin, along with Marion Ross, Don Most, Anson Williams, and the Tom Bosley estate, sued CBS (who owns Happy Days, why? I don't know considering it used to air on ABC) over merchandise rights. They won the settlement but Erin still continued to live in the trailer park. It's been said that many tried to help her: Henry Winkler tried to get Erin a role on Arrested Development but nothing came of it; Scott tried to help a few times but nothing so he gave up and went on with his own life while his wife Renee kept in contact with Erin until less of a month before her passing. Perhaps Erin had pride? She didn't want any handouts or anything other than digging out of her hole. Maybe she subconsciously grew to love the trailer park life and got used to it? Only Erin can answer that. She was disappointed in Hollywood on how they turned their back to her- she isn't the first nor would she be the last. It's a sad thing, a tragic side of stardom. Meanwhile, Scott has found a pretty steady career with Charles in Charge, Diagnosis Murder, and See Dad Run with an occasional guest starring or movie role. He has now semi-retired and is not worried about his bank account. They barely spoke to one another since; Erin hadn't kept much contact with Ron, occasionally with Henry, often with Marion, regularly with Anson and Don.

While I genuinely believe that Scott is completely devastated by her death 100% and perhaps it rattled him to the core. However he really went on to have a foot-in-the-mouth moment that, I think, will hang over his head until he dies. There were a few headlines from tabloids and talk claiming that Erin died of a heroin overdose. Scott seemed to have believed it. The autopsy hadn't been performed yet at the time and knowing Erin's drug use, Scott went with it. As a guest on a radio talk show, he was only asked about Erin's drug use. I think Scott should’ve avoided the subject, say “no comment” and kindly say wait until the autopsy is done. The following day after her death, the cause of death is Squamous Cell Carcinoma throat cancer in stage 4. According to her widower, she was diagnosed in November and started treatment. Scott nor his wife did not know this, neither did Ron or Marion. Anson knew; I don't know for sure about Don or Henry. Scott did admit he jumped quickly to conclusions while receiving backlash.

Then came the most ridiculous thing: Scott claimed that he is getting backlash from his original comments about Erin's cause of death because he is a Donald Trump supporter! Oh, please! Trump had nothing to do with this nor Scott’s support of his. This backlash is about Scott's foot in mouth blunder moment, not his Presidential vote. That's when my views on Scott went from starry crush eyes to pathetic moron. I can't look or think of him the same way any more. I don't hate him, but I now disrespect Scott. I won't hold his past work against him with the shows I still love and hold and dear to my heart. He is just barely anything to me anymore. 

Long Live Mötley Crue

Goodbye to the band I grew up with. We were born the same year (1981) and my earliest memories are watching their music videos on MTV. You guys made me dance, sing along, relate to my moods, you were there when I wanted to bang my head. You made me laugh with your sense of humor, cringe in disgust and respect when reading your book, made me cry with your pain and cheers of joy. I saw you live twice- in 2009 and for the final time in 2015. After 34 years, you made your mark to be unforgettable. Thank you. I will always be loyal, I will always use you in the rotation of listening to music, I will cheer when the one day you'll be inducted into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame and be first in line whenever your autobiographical movie The Dirt comes out. I love you guys- Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, and Mick Mars. Go out big, go out strong, you brought the scars that will forever remain that no concealer could make dissappear. You closed your own door and are opening four new doors of new beginnings and outlook. Look back on Motley Crue with proud, pride, accomplishment and legacy. We will never forget

Black & White to Color

 Original- black and white

Photoshop- colorized

(Okay it's not the same exact picture but you get the idea- at least I hope you do...)

 

I've been aware of this black and white pictures (including movies, TV shows) to color for about a decade now and to tell you the truth: I hate it. From my understanding, it started with Ted Turner- the founder of TV channels CNN, TBS, TNT and ex-husband of Jane Fonda. I don't know what his thinking was but he had some idea to make shows like Bewitched, I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie (among others) and movies like Casablanca that were black and white (Bewitched was black and white for the first 3 seasons and I Dream of Jeannie for one season before becoming color by 1966 so those colorful seasons don't count; it was naturally done) into color. Now these days it seems to be everywhere, so much so that people are starting to think that the fake colorized photos were real. I don't see anything wrong with having things black and white- in fact I think there's a lot to it in black and white. There's a mystery sense- even fooling people into thinking that Lucille Ball, Rita Hayworth and Jane Asher were blondes when they were redheads. There's emotions, there's beautiful shadows and contrasts that color pictures simply do not have. When someone colors a picture, it looks painted on, fake, and best chances would get the color wrong- whether it's an outfit or hair or the surroundings of a place where the picture in question was taken. You are not going to see me coloring classic B&W pictures at all. In fact, if I find a colorized picture, I will dig deep until I find the original B&W photo to use instead. If someone could find that picture to color then I could find the picture myself and enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I love color pictures as much as you do but only when they are done naturally with the right film or digital or  whatever's the thing these days. I also love black and white pictures- there's an historical feel to them even if it was taken recently and done right. 

Queen Will Always Rock Me

 As far as I can remember, Queen was always a part of my life. I grew up with Queen- they got really hot in the 1980s (Freddie Mercury in his mustache) after being together since 1971. There was Live Aid, the Wembley Stadium in 1986 before they quietly quit touring after when Freddie discovered he had AIDs and was dead in 5 years. I remember seeing their music videos on MTV- when the channel was all about music before it became a reality network and Brian May doing some introductions and little stories here and there behind the hits. I think I have those still on VHS tapes. Freddie with his powerful operatic voice that could range from opera to head-banging rock. John Deacon with this heart-beating bass, Roger Taylor and his drums and Brian with his lead guitar- they were such a great band. Yes they fought but only because they had a vision and knew what they wanted and in the end the main songwriter would win. They were also creative and open-minded- Freddie loved Brian's guitar at the end of Bohemian Rhapsody while Brian thought it should've just been the piano but, as I just wrote not that long ago, the songwriter (Freddie) would win at the end. They were also encouraging with one another- Freddie, Brian and Roger convinced John to submit any songs so that he would have a financial pillow cushion rather than his bass playing so he could live comfortably many years to come without going broke. They had management and financial issues in the 1970s from being screwed and banded together- John was their money man who managed to sort out their earnings.
After Freddie died and John retired, Brian and Roger continued on with Queen. First they enlisted Paul Rogers from Bad Company. I wasn't too thrilled with that one. Don't get me wrong- I do like Paul Rogers- he has a great singing voice but it wasn't fit for Queen's music. Maybe for the hard rockers like Liar and Tie Your Mother Down but not for Killer Queen. I honestly thought just end Queen and form another band in another name if Brian and Roger wanted to play in a band. Then came Adam Lambert. Now I'll admit that I haven't watched American Idol after quitting mid-way into season 2 as I lost interest but once I heard about Queen being a guest to play on American Idol with Adam, I thought "Now we are talking!" I do think Adam is a much better suited singer for Queen. He has that Freddie vibe about him- they are both showmen, powerful singers, and yes, both are gay. Adam can get away with singing Killer Queen or Bohemian Rhapsody. I approve of this replacement. Thankfully, Roger and Brian did realize that Paul wasn't fitting into their mold as I already realized before.

 Freddie...the picture above is my kind of Freddie. Man he was hot in the 1970s. Yes, I know, gay. And dead. But do I care? No. He's fascinating to me. He's also a cat lover like me. His birthday is in September, like me (except different days and different horoscope). Freddie has a voice like no other. As I mentioned before, Freddie had a huge range of his voice to be able to go anywhere from rock to opera; if he was alive today I wouldn't have any doubt that he would be involved in more genres- like Country, Hip-Hop/Rap. Freddie died in 1991 from complications of AIDs. I remember very clearly of hearing the news that Freddie was dead. I was 10 years old. I had just gotten home from seeing a magic show (David Copperfield) with my grandmother. Mom was home watching TV and there was Freddie, showing a clip from Bohemian Rhapsody's music video with those two year-dates of his birth and death. When I went to bed, I cried my eyes out. Next thing I know, AIDs was everywhere- in ads, news, being discussed in school. It was a heavy topic. He had released the news of him having AIDs after being hounded by the press and rumors and the following day, Freddie was gone. I honestly don't remember the announcement- I could've been just too young to understand what was going on until after his death and the AIDs awareness spread like wildfires. Freddie's death was the first death that really affected me to remember- like "Where were you when JFK or John Lennon died?". Well I take that back- Lucille Ball's death had an impact on me but the memory is sketchy- I was still a little girl and I do recall hearing about it but I don't know where I was, who I was with, how I heard the news nothing like how I heard about Freddie's death. Perhaps it was because Lucille was in her 80s and had heart surgery, dying of a heart attack so it wasn't as shocking. I suppose I can say that although Lucille's death was my first celebrity death, Freddie's death had the most impact.
I remember back in the mid-2000s, my grandmother, Mom and I were on a road trip and we had music in the car- Bohemian Rhapsody came on during our CD circulation/rotation. The first time it came on, Grandma got a good kick out of with the opera bit. The second time it came on, this time around Grandma listened to the lyrics and had a freak out. The song was talking about killing a man and she wasn't thrilled, realizing that ever since I was a child I was crazy about them and hearing about this. She gave my mother a hard time about it "How could you let her listen to this????"...Wait a minute! First of all, the song came out in 1975 while my mother was a teenager and at the time, Grandma didn't say anything. Second of all, my Mom pointed out to her that there's other classic songs that talked about murder- Mack the Knife by Bobby Darin was an example. Grandma eventually got quiet and Mom and I quietly took Bohemian Rhapsody out of it's rotation of playing. I am wondering what Grandma was really afraid of- was she scared that I would turn into a murderer? I'm sure Grandma gave Freddie a third degree interrogation after when she died some time later.

After Freddie's death, John went on to perform with Roger and Brian to work on Made in Heaven with the remaining tracks Freddie left behind to release and three live performances before retiring. John was always the shy one- Freddie was shy too but once he got on the stage, his showman persona came out and he was fearless of anything. John kept quiet- he did perform, letting Brian, Roger and Freddie have the spotlight of their performances. It's been said that John suffered depression after Freddie's death. I think of all the members of Queen, John took Freddie's death the hardest. I suppose that to him, his musician days were over the moment Freddie died with very few exceptions. Although, according to both Roger and Brian, John wrote them a letter saying that he approves of whatever they do with Queen (he does get his fair share of percentage of the pie). He was last seen at Queen's Broadway production of We Will Rock You premiere, Roger thought he was there to see what his investment was all about. Other than that, there's ideas that John was playing golf and enjoying retirement. I'm sure he is and I hope he is too. John was (and still is) a very talented bass man. I do miss his presence in Queen whenever I see Roger and Brian perform.

I have this picture as a poster, hanging in my bedroom

My Favorite Songs of Queen (in no particular order other than what's coming to my mind)

Bohemian Rhapsody

Killer Queen

You're My Best Friend

Now I'm Here

Tie Your Mother Down

Liar

One Vision

The Miracle

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Breakthru

Invisible Man

Another One Bites the Dust

Headlong

Seven Seas of Rhye

Millionaire Waltz

Keep Yourself Alive

It's a Kind of Magic

Stone Cold Crazy

Death on Two Legs

We Will Rock You (both fast and classic versions)

Sheer Heart Attack

Under Pressure

Bicycle Race

Fat Bottom Girls

I'm Going Slightly Mad

Princes of the Universe

I Want It All

I would put down These Are the Days of Our Lives but decided not to- it makes me cry. I love I Want to Break Free's music video where Queen dressed as women but the song is a take it or leave it. I must have been one of the very few people in America who thought that the music video was funny while the rest weren't too thrilled. 

Come Back, My Guardian Angel

Every time I think of you
memories haunt me
the dreams felt so true

My eyes shed it's own tears
listen to my cry
with your ears
tears drain into my eyes

A night bird sings
spreading it's wing

Being in love enough to inspire
very deeply to admire

It seems that I never let go
my heart never felt so low
I want to let you go

My Guardian Angel, whom I believe
a special bond that has been conceived
the memories will never leave
all the thoughts that I grieve

The angel is stuck in my heart
not knowing when to leave

Come back alive, to me
so I could see
for the beautiful image that I remember
keeping memories alive, not to fade

I will always think about you
my love will always come true

You didn't deserve to die
of all the time that goes by

I know that you will always be by my side
to have all my troubles go down slide
But, I want you back to be with me
this isn't what it was meant to be
for me to lose you

Originally written in 1998; revised in 2002
In Memory of David Alvarez

John & Julian Lennon

"John used to play with Julian on his skateboard. When skateboards first came out in the 60s, they were quite small. Basically, it was just a board with roller skates. They used to play outside on the slope leading up to the house."

"Once while Cynthia was away with Mrs. Powell, I was staying in the house with Julian. I had put Julian to bed, but he was having an earache and was very upset. I put him to bed, but he was in so much pain, I sat up with him that night. When John came in quite late, he came along to Julian's room to see what was wrong. The light was on and I explained about the earache. John said, 'You got to bed, Dot, I'll stay up with him'. He was always concerned, like a good father. He was a good man." 

-Dorothy Jarlett

"Little two-year-old Julian came to the door to greet the new visitors. Uncle George scooped the toddler up in his arms to say hello. As I aimed my camera to capture the moment, John began smoothing down Julian's hair. I loved seeing John, the long-haired idol of millions, fussing over his son,s hair like any other doting parent. This was a side of him I had not yet seen."

-Photographer Henry Grossman

"Lennon seemed to have a very traditional love for Cynthia and would call nightly to check in and talk, in baby talk, to his son Julian. It was exciting to watch. Here was a Beatle, the idol of millions, savoring a few minutes on the phone with his wife"

-Broadcaster Art Schreiber

"Well, I just want him to grow up happy. That's the main thing."

-John Lennon (1964)

"Just love, that's the main thing you know. He's just going to be happy and know he's wanted. I'm not having any of that boarding school or sending him away. He's going to be with us all the time"

-John Lennon (1965)

"It's not the best relationship between father and son, but it is there...Julian and I will have a relationship in the future"

-John Lennon (1980)

"He doesn't owe me anything. I'll make life as easy for him as I can but it's no use me thinking what I would do if I was him, because I'm not him and he isn't Little Me"

-John Lennon (circa 1960s)

So Long "Futurama"

This week was Futurama's final episode that aired on Comedy Central. And I'm not thrilled! I love Futurama, it's one of the cartoons that I can watch the same episode over and over again without getting sick of it. I was thrilled when Comedy Central picked up Futurama from the dead after a few years when Fox cancelled the show (Fox is famous for cancelling great, and bad, shows) and then earlier this year the channel broke my heart. I do hope that in the future (haha punny!) Futurama will at least have some specials or even come back! Preferable come back...
So, in honor of Futurama's last day on air with a new episode, I wanted to to do something for the cartoon.
-It was created by Matt Groening, who created The Simpsons
-Billy West was on Ren & Stimpy and is the Red M&M for M&Ms; he's been in numerous cartoons
-Katey Segal was from Married with Children and currently on Sons of Anarchy. I remember her appearing on the Emmy Awards (the technical kind that is a few days before from the very popular Primetime Emmys) saying that it's great to play a cartoon because her character's weight never changes- always skinny! I thought that was funny.
-John DiMaggio is on Penguins of Madagascar as Rico who I happened to name my cat after. He voiced Bender, one of my favorite characters on the show.
-Lauren Tom was on Friends as one of Ross Gellar's girlfriends as well as being one of the voices on my other beloved cartoon King of the Hill 

I do love the friendship between Fry the human and Bender the robot. It would seem that Bender treated Fry badly but at the end of the day, Bender would feel remorse and sorry for hurting his best friend. Yet whenever Fry got into trouble or needed help, Bender is always quick to help his buddy. They became roommates in the second episode and it was there that Bender told Fry that of all the friends Bender has had, Fry was the first friend. Bender's dream goal was to kill all humans and at one time admitted that he would quietly said to himself "Except for Fry" and I do believe that- Bender would spare Fry's life.

There's also the relationship between Fry and Leela. From the first day he saw her, Fry was in love. Leela was a mutant (the mutant community lived in the sewer) with one eye and yet Fry doesn't care. There were moments when bad things happened to Leela- like growing tentacles or was thought dead and at one point was thought dead so Fry had her into a robot so he can be with her, he didn't care. Fry loved and wanted Leela. At first Leela didn't want him: Fry was an idiot, pretty dumb and naive, lazy, messy, so she wasn't interested in him. Sure they both had some other relationships before eventually Leela realized Fry was genuine and they started to date.

Another couple I do love is Amy and Kif. Kif is a pretty funny squishy alien who was a suffering assistant to an A-hole commander Brannigan who was a selfish pretty-boy who had eyes for Leela (even slept with her once) and she can not stand him.

I love that Beatrice Arthur got to voice on Futurama as a robot-wall who did not like men and didn't want them on her planet until Bender discovered she was an actual robot.

I love how Amy would insult Leela and Leela would glare at her

I did enjoy the final episode, but I thought the scenes where Fry was falling off the building and kept looping it was too much.

Best Quotes:

*note: the quotes that are in color were from the same episode and a conversation piece.
This may be updated again once I remember other great and funny stuff

"Bite my shiny metal ass!" -Bender

"You know, Fry, out of all the friends I've ever had... you're the first." -Bender

"Bender, we didn't mind your drinking, or your kleptomania, or your pornography ring." -Leela

"You have all been very naughty! Very naughty indeed! Except you, Dr. Zoidberg. This is for you." -Evil Santa Claus Robot

"They're like sex, except I'm having it!" -Fry

"Blackmail is such an ugly word; I prefer "extortion". The "X" makes it sound cool" -Bender

"You jerk. I thought I was your best friend. What kind of two-timing kill-mobile are you?" -Fry (to Bender)

Fry: I can't believe this! Bender is supposed to murder his closest friend, which I thought was me. But he went straight for you. He didn't even try to second-degree murder me.
Leela: Could you give me some help? I think Bender crushed my foot.
Fry: Stop rubbing it in!

Bender: Oh, God! Fry, I'm so glad to see you. I didn't hurt you, did I?
Fry: Not physically. But why don't you ask your new best friend, Leela?
Bender: I tried to run you over?

Leela: It was very sweet of you, Bender.

"You win again, gravity!" -Zapp Brannigan

Zapp: Well, well. This looks to be one disturbingly erotic date.
Leela: Half-date.
Zapp: Waiter, bring us a bottle of wine.
Leela: Half-bottle.
Zapp: And some oysters on the half-shell.
Leela: Quarter-shell.

Amy: This women-only planet is sounding better and better.
Leela: I'm already looking for apartments.

"No fair! Leela was training me to be captain. She even let me sit in her lap and steer... in this comic I drew." -Fry

"Kids have names?" -Bender

"Leela must have impregnated me when she grabbed my ungloved hand. That explains the poster in hygiene class: "No Glove, No Love".-Kif

"Yeah yeah, we don't care how squishy alien get pregnant. All we care is we have grandchild now." -Mrs. Wong

"Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain." -Professor Farnsworth

"My life isn't as glamorous as my web page made it seem." -Leela

"But I like being old! No one asks me to move stuff, I don't have to talk to my parents, and I don't need to understand today's hip, edgy sitcoms." -Professor Farnsworth

"All those times I said "Kill all humans," I'd always whisper "except one". Fry was that one. And I never told him so!" -Bender

"I can't watch this 'cause it's creepy and wrong and sick. However I will watch out of curiosity." -Fry

"I tell you they're not evil. But don't be confused. They are jerks." -Leela

"Oh this is awful. Somewhere there's a Bender more evil than me. I do my best dammit!" -Bender 2

"And I love Leela. Any Leela" -Fry (2- who later turned out to be a robot)

"I hate being a man. I smell bad, my face is scratchy, and the food at those strip clubs is terrible." -Leela

"We were planning on enjoying a relaxing vacation. But since you're here, we'll have to do some meddling." -Mr. Wong

Kif: The point is, it's just so humiliating working for that man. Once, he actually ordered me to... shave his armpits while he was in the bathtub. So, I said-
Leela: Y'know, why don't we talk about something besides Zapp for a while?
Kif: Oh, alright. Um... well... how 'bout then, um... OK, well, there he was in the tub, right?

1999-2003

2010-2013

I Like to Watch Cartoons

She-Ra: Princess of Power
Looney Tunes
The Beatles
The Flintstones
The Jetsons
Scooby-Doo (the classic versions)
He-Man (the 80s version)
Thundercats (the 80s version)
Winnie the Pooh
Garfield
George of the Jungle
Rocky and Bullwinkle
Tom & Jerry
Popeye
Heathcliffe

Beavis & Butthead
Daria
The Simpsons
The Animaniacs
Pinky & The Brain
The Powerpuff Girls
Ren & Stimpy
Batman Beyond

South Park
King of the Hill
Home Movies
Family Guy
American Dad
Spongebob Squarepants
The Fairy Oddparents
Futurama
Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Archer

Bob's Burgers
Brickleberry
Unsupervised
Penguins of Madagascar

General Hospital's 50th Anniversary

Today is 'General Hospital''s 50th Anniversary.
I started to watch General Hospital in 1996. I can recall Lily Rivera Corinthos being blown up by her own father (who was really after her husband, Sonny Corinthos- who is still on the show) and Carly Roberts coming on board as an intern nurse while looking for her biological mother Bobbie Spencer (who gave her up for adoption as a teenager while working as a prostitute before becoming a nurse). Ever since then I've been hooked. I've been loyal even during their worst years. It was in danger of being cancelled about a year or two when ABC cancelled All My Children and One Life to Live- if it had been, ABC would've been the only major network without a soap (CBS has The Young and the Restless and The Bold and the Beautiful while NBC has Days of Our Lives). Luckily, under a new Executive Producer and Head Writer, fresh off from OLTL, GH managed to be saved from the chopping block. Thank goodness! But to be honest, when the news that OLTL was cancelled, I wanted GH to be cancelled rather than OLTL. At the time, it was in it's worst years (I blame Head writers Robert Guza, Jr., Garin Wolf, and Executive Producer Jill Farren Phelps at this point of time) while OLTL was doing very well with their storylines. I had quit OLTL a few years before because it was all about Spencer Truman- he was in every freakin' storyline imaginable and I just got sick of it. But when I heard that Todd Manning (at the time was being played by Trevor St. John, a good replacement during Roger Howarth's absence) was going to have a long-long daughter Dani, I was intrigued so I came back. At the same time, my past favorite couple Natalie Buchanan Banks and John McBain were on the road to reuniting, so it was a double treat for me to return. Anyway, at the time I was willing to sacrifice GH for OLTL but thankfully Frank and Ron went to GH and even brought over Roger Howarth's Todd (who did return back to OLTL just before the cancellation announcement was made), Kristen Alderson's Starr Manning and Michael Easton's John McBain to Port Charles. I thought they fit in well until the Prospect Park/OLTL mess that's currently happening.

There's so much to remember after watching for quite a long time, so I'll try my best with my lists. There's no particular order- just what comes to mind. I can always edit whenever something to comes to mind later!
Favorite Couples (Past and Present)
1. Dillon and Georgie
2. Dante and Lulu
3. Jason and Sam
4. Luke and Tracy
5. Johnny and Olivia
6. Luke and Skye
7. Jax and Skye
8. Jax and Chloe
9. Ned and Alexis
10. Luke and Laura
11. Mac and Felicia
12. Nikolas #2 and Gia #1
13. Mac and Katherine
14. Max and Diane
15. Ric and Reese
16. Nikolas and Nadine
17. Damien and Ellie
18. Damien and Georgie
19. Ethan and Rebecca
20. Coleman and Kate #1
21. Lucky and Elizabeth
22. Ric and Elizabeth
23. Shawn and Alexis
24. Edward and Lila
25. Alan and Monica
26. Jerry #1 and Bobbie
27. Nikolas and Courtney
28. Stefan and Katherine
29. Cesar and Liesl

Favorite Couples That I Wanted to Get Together
1. Jason and Carly* #1 (Sarah Brown)
2. Todd and Heather
3. Nikolas and Claudia
4. Cameron and Alexis
5. Lucky and Claire
6. Johnny and Lisa*
7. Ric and Claudia*
8. Steve #1 and Carly #2
9. Nikolas and Britt
10. Milo and Ellie
*they did had sex a few times but there was never anything cemented to be a serious romantic relationship

Favorite Couples That I Used to Loved But Now What Was I Thinking?
1. Jason and Courtney
2. Logan and Lulu
3. Sonny and Hannah
4. AJ and Courtney

Favorite Friendships
1. Jason and Carly (#1 especially)
2. Jason and Damien
3. Jax and Alexis
4. Luke and Alexis
5. Luke and Skye
6. Alexis and Diane
7. Alexis and Chloe
8. Todd and Carly
9. Todd and Heather
10. Carly and Olivia
11. Lucky and Dante
12. Anna and John McBain
13. Felicia and Bobbie
14. Georgie and Brook Lynn

Who I Want to Come Back
1. Georgie (from the dead)
2. Blackie (from prison)
3. Lucas (from out of town)
4. Claudia (from the dead)
5. Dillon (from out of town)
6. Skye (from out of town)
7. Ned (from out of town)
8. Lucky (from out of town)
9. Ethan (from out of town)
10. Chloe (from the dead)
11. Ric (from out of town)
12. Faith (from the dead)
13. Justus (from the dead)
14. Jason (from the dead- but at the moment I can do without him)

Characters That Should Stay Dead & Not Return Alive
1. Sage
2. Diego
3. Emily
4. Luis