I Stand With Isabel

There's been something I have been wanting to share about Isabel Gillies THINK blog post regarding a meltdown over her former character, Kathy Stabler. I took my time not to write out my feelings immediately after she posted as I wanted time to think, let dust settle, and be sure of change. 

Last year, NBC announced they were spinning a new Law and Order spin off series through Special Victims Unit, called Law and Order: Organized Crime. The television show would star Christopher Meloni as Elliot Stabler returning back after 10 years after departing from SVU in 2011. Naturally, questions of what happened to Elliot during that time were asked (and answered on April 1, 2021), including what was the status of his marriage. There were assumptions that Elliot and Kathy got divorced - Christopher was clever enough to hide his left hand during location shots in between takes to leave us guessing. The synopsis of Organized Crime was Elliot returning to NYPD (after being an international liaison on their behalf in Rome) after a devastating loss. Naturally it became a guessing game. Would it be Kathy, his wife? If they're still together, or not? Would it be one of his five children? Would it be his mother? Although, clues were clear that it was going to be Kathy, my favorite recurring character, so, I braced myself after a moment of having my blood boil and knowing EO/Bensler shippers would throw a celebration as now Elliot and Olivia Benson (play by Mariska Hargitay) can finally get together. I have posted about this before some years back; short version of that story is that Kathy was not a favorite as she was the road block, keeping the love struck detectives apart. Kathy's only crime to be hated was being Mrs. Elliot Stabler. Obviously, I didn't feel that way. I loved Elliot and Kathy together, they had sweet moments, some passionate, some problems - yes - like any marriage. I also didn't see anything wrong with Kathy. She was nice, sweet, trying to live with a cop who is a workaholic. And having an attractive female (single) partner didn't help Kathy's insecurity and fear that Elliot would either leave her for Olivia, or Elliot and Olivia were having an affair (which they did not; Elliot was faithful to Kathy). Anyway, the day came for the big crossover event for SVU and OC on April 1, 2021! We learned that Elliot and Kathy were indeed still very married and had moved to Italy after his departure from SVU; they returned to New York for Elliot to do some business and it coincide with Olivia receiving an award for her achievements. Kathy really wanted to go ... why? Well, that remains to be seen, but, the catch was this letter Elliot had given to Olivia after Kathy had died ... okay, I jumped ahead there. Yes, apparently attempting to leave for the award ceremony, Elliot got distracted by a phone call so he gave Kathy the keys to their rental car... as Kathy was about to go in, the car exploded! Kathy got thrown and burned, very critically injured. As she got loaded into the ambulance, Olivia arrived at the scene after getting notified for help while on her way to her award ceremony. We took off with the reunion of Elliot and Olivia and eventually Kathy dies from her injuries. 

Okay, now for this complicated letter. In Organized Crime pilot, Olivia gave Elliot whatever evidence and reports she had regarding Kathy's murder case and was given an envelope of a letter Elliot said he wrote but opted not to speak at her award ceremony as he isn't the type of doing public speaking. Since then until (mystery air date), a majority of viewers wanted to know what was in that letter. It was written before Kathy's death, but could it be a love letter? Could Elliot be confessing his true feelings of love for his former partner? Well, you can say yes, it was. But, there was a big twist: it was actually Kathy's idea and Kathy dictating to Elliot of writing that whatever feelings they may have for one another wasn't real, that he wished her the best of luck, blah blah blah (I honestly don't know word by word of it as I wasn't, and still am not, obsessed over it). When the letter discussion happened, Elliot was working undercover and got drugged by a roofie that was slipped in his mouth. He found his way to Olivia's apartment and wanted to talk about the letter.... something Olivia attempted to do with Elliot at the end of the Organized Crime pilot but he blew her off. However, after Kathy was done dictating and went off after Elliot sealed the envelope, he reopened the letter and added that in a parallel universe it would always be Elliot and Olivia. Yeah, I'm not happy about how this is going but that's... I really don't want to get into that. And it's not really the reason why I'm writing this. Prior to the air date of the letter reveal, Christopher Meloni did warn that the letter reveal would cause an uproar, and he wasn't wrong! An uproar it did cause and viewers took to Twitter to let it out. Kathy became the ultimate enemy number one. Many were happy she died, wanted to dance on her grave, wanted to give Angela and Richard Wheatley (who murdered Kathy) high fives and an expensive celebratory dinner party. Those tweets got a hold of Isabel's Twitter handle and she saw that Kathy was trending. With natural curiosity, Isabel saw those tweets. At first, she shrugged it off, maybe did a chuckle or two, I mean, it wasn't serious.... until it got serious.

You see, I have been in the SVU fandom for a lot of years during its 23+ seasons run. I have been part of forums, groups, and other platforms as part of the fandom. I have seen quite enough of Kathy hate, or "I love Kathy but not with Elliot" types. I have had my share of wars with the EO/Bensler fandom, defending Kathy and her own love story with Elliot. I may have been in the minority, but I was and still am definitely proud to be part of it and not shy away from it. My take on Kathy's part of this letter thing was that she was only trying to hold her family and her marriage together, she wasn't being vindictive, gaslighting, or whatever else she's been accused of doing to keep Elliot and Olivia apart. I think if Elliot is truly in love with Olivia as everyone else (particularly Richard Wheatley) says he is, then he could've let the divorce Kathy had filed in seasons 6-8 be final to have his chance with Olivia. He had his chance! But, no, Elliot opted to go over to Kathy's house to want to come home and in the process, he got Kathy pregnant with Eli. There's been times since that letter reveal that I kinda wished Kathy slammed the door on Elliot ... at least she would've still be alive! Before the letter and when the countdown was going on for Elliot's return to television, we kinda already knew Kathy was going to be the one that dies, I saw tweets of EO/Bensler shippers excited that Kathy would be smokey confetti, wanting to throw a party of her demise, and when I call them out on the cruelty, they would claim it was a "joke". Yeah, sure. Jokes. It got to the point where I felt compelled to warn Isabel of what she and her character would be in for with these passionate fans. It will not be a pretty sight, I can tell you that. Isabel took it in stride (we converse privately),  and for a time it was okay, despite the joy of Kathy's death, Isabel did get praise for her performance from all sides, and she carried on with her life free from L&O commitments now that her character is dead (although Isabel did return as Kathy for Organized Crime episode to appear on security surveillance on the car bomb). Next thing she knew, the peace became an uproar circus when the letter reveal happened. 

Here's the link of Isabel's post on receiving hate over her TV character: T.H.I.N.K.

I did warn her! She finally got to see firsthand of what I have been going through for many years in the SVU fandom, she saw the ugly side. Of course, I felt sorry for Isabel to see all that cruel tweets but I am glad she spoke up about that. 

On her blog, she posted the picture of her image with a note that said this, 'this girl is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met...". As it turned out, the note itself was from the movie Mean Girls and was made into a meme with her image getting pasted on. Well, Isabel did not know that as she never saw Mean Girls. In truth, neither have I although I have heard of the movie; I did see that particular tweet myself and knew it was spliced together. As a fan, it hurt while scrolling, but I wasn't surprised either. After Isabel posted that, the person who originally posted the Mean Girl meme started receiving death threats while defending herself of why she posted that. Despite my own feelings about that hurtful meme, I don't think she deserved death threats - that's way too much. I have had my share of heated arguments with EO/Bensler shippers, but never have I ever made a death threat. I just eventually blocked, as they do with me. 

I believe the main reason why people dislike Kathy (including the viewers who doesn't want Elliot and Olivia together) is because we don't know her. We know Elliot well, Olivia, we know their favorite foods, color, the kind of music they listen to, there's a connection. We don't know Kathy's favorite color, or favorite shape of pasta. All we really knew was Kathy was a wife and mother. I do know Kathy's favorite food was Italian, seeing how happy she was going to an Italian restaurant in season one and living in Rome for about a decade, she loved it so much that Elliot said Rome was Kathy's place in the now deleted scene of Organized Crime's first episode as well in the murder trial episode of getting an Italian lunch to celebrate her belated birthday. Even Isabel once said in 2018, "Still, sometimes I feel like Kathy didn’t really get a chance to be a whole person. Sometimes I made up stuff in my head to fill her out. I always hoped people were pulling for her, but I never really knew." Out of 23 and counting seasons with over 500 episodes (and counting), Kathy has only been in 32 episodes; and she's been the "star" in two of them: Paternity and Return of the Prodigal Son. Paternity was when Kathy gave birth to Eli after being in a car crash with Olivia. Isabel's onscreen time succeeded over 20 minutes than the typical 3 minutes, one scene, maybe 2 if lucky, small part. As Isabel puts it, she was the 10th banana on the show. It has tiers of top billing of the main cast, then regulars, then recurring with judges, lawyers, doctors, forensics, and, at the bottom of the list: family. As for Return of the Prodigal Son, although the episode centered around Kathy's car bombing investigation and her ultimate death, the show once again put Isabel in the 10th banana spot. Kathy was onscreen in 3 scenes: going to the ambulance after the car bomb, being questioned by Olivia, and suffering from cardiac arrest (maybe 4 if you count the one Elliot and Olivia arriving outside her room, Kathy was sleeping). Her longest scene was with Olivia and it was less than 5 minutes. I get the tier importance thing: Olivia is now the star, Elliot and Olivia's reunion was the top billing and most anticipated event. Isabel definitely gets high praise for those two episodes with her performances - she's no slacker and can keep her toes up with Chris and Mariska, no matter the time gap.

I just find it a real shame that Kathy was picked to be the one that dies in order for Elliot to have his own show. I was originally rooting for Elizabeth because she was (and still is) the least seen, used, barely any lines, and more of a background prop. But then there was talk on how Elliot was originally going to come on by using Kathy with Dickie or Eli mixed in with troublemakers; Kathy was going to turn to Olivia for help, Elliot was "away" from everything, including his family (naturally some people took that as divorce "proof" but another thought was Elliot being deep undercover). So, my guess went from Elizabeth to one of the boys. I also thought with Elliot as a focus on the show, we could finally learn more about Kathy, that Isabel would finally have more scenes lasting a most half an hour instead of blink-or-miss appearance, that her place in the tier would have gotten promoted to regular character rather than an once in a blue moon recurring. As it turned out, it was my beloved Kathy who bit the dust, so we lost all opportunities of her interact her teenage Eli, to see her with Kathleen (Allison Siko since SVU season 3) and Dickie (Jeffrey Scaperrotta since SVU season 1), including the brand new faces of Maureen and Elizabeth, and with her mother in law Bernadette (played by Ellen Burstyn), who Kathy had a great off screen relationship. Including her grandchildren! It just doesn't seem fair. And it doesn't seem fair for people to dislike Kathy all because she was married to Elliot and not able for him to hook up with Olivia. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand about disliking/hating a character; I have my list, however, I tend to dislike for reasons like hypocrisy/selective memory, arrogant, narcissism, doing something unforgivable and no redeeming qualities. Plus, there's over-acting and under-acting. Maybe some do feel that way other than being the "cock-blocker" between Elliot and Olivia, okay, fine, I can respect that. As I have learned, you can't make everyone happy. 

Anyway, I hope as Organized Crime seasons unfolds that we can still learn about Kathy as a whole person before eventually fading away into oblivion.

Where is My Life?

Fed up with my patience
turning to my conscience
trashing around the bay
without knowing what to say


Everybody telling me the story
wishing for all the glory
in my life to be perfect
however I am away causing a conflict
crying in vain
feeling my tears drain
closing my eyes from the lecture
dizzy from this torture


Wanting to be left alone
biting my skin down to the bone
trumbling with anger
risking the edge towards the danger


Lost in the words of the sea
not letting me to be free
trying to make me do what I don't want to do
they don't get my clue


They are trying to make me crack
by putting me in the sack
trapped because I won't break down
digging into my soul to the ground
letting me drown in my blood
creating an emotional flood


Stealing my misery in space
not wanting to look at my own face
sorrow has reached my eye
listening to my heart cry
crawling away in gravel
hoping that the tension unravel


Depressed most of the time
increasing the thoughts in my mind
alone in the darkness with a knife
Where is my life?


Written in 2002.
I wouldn't say I was being suicidal... overdramatic, but not suicidal. At the time, I was around 21 years old and still wasn't driving. My whole family was flabbergasted to put it kindly. They had all gotten their licenses when they were 15, 16 years old and here I was, 21 and no license. Unlike them, I just did not want to drive. I was scared. I was, and still is, the only one who lived near busy streets and those are not easy to practice on! The rest of them were raised and lived in areas that were quiet, residential. Plus, a guy that I had a massive crush on died in a car accident when he was 17 (I was 16) so that really put a damper on driving. It took me until I was 22 to finally get a license. I like going at my own speed and apparently my own speed never impress my family's qualifications. I suppose it's safe to say that I am the black sheep of my family? The weirdo.

My Imagination

I have a strange imagination
very hard to explain the ideas
Pretending to be someone else
in another time era
Pretending to invent someone in fiction
trying to picture of what the future would bring
Having my own little world
a place to escape and relax
To be able to smile and create
up to the temperature to the right degree
Reaching up to my imagination
knowing that my mind is a thousand of miles away
Rephrasing a memory
eyes replacing it's vision from the real world
To the fantasy world
a feel to make you feel small
a dream that makes you feel big
Imagination that no one can control
it's mine only
no one else to have
My feelings of happiness and pain
trying to search to get out
My imagination is a dream
a far away look in my eyes
It takes me longer to reach reality
my very own imagination
to shine like a star
to slide down the rainbow
Bright as a sun
glowing like the moon
A far cry from the special destiny
a dream that can not be taken away
Something to have is a part of you
sometimes it's hard to understand
only I could
My imagination contain things
some that will never happen
Crying and laughter is in
like a butterfly flapping it's wings
spreading it's color, like a peacock
Ideas come fresh to the head
never to forget that piece of mind
wherever when it blossoms
The events can go on for months
maybe even a year or two
The pain to reach down under
hopefully to disappear
To love or to hate
questions will come at any point
Just my imagination
only I could bring it to myself
The keys to success of hard work
only steps have to be taken
time by time
Crossroads will happen in life
joining to steal of togetherness
Stories form together in the head
My imagination
which is only just for me


Originally written in 1998, revised in 2002.
When I was writing poems in those days, I was trying to be suave, like I knew my way around words, and jotting down things that came to mind. It sounded great at the time. Today? Well, other than thinking that I was showing off over 20 years ago, I have to say that it's still not that far off either. My imagination is still just that- my faraway getaway.

It's Only Sunday

Waking up in the morning
I could hear the day that started hours before
staring at the ceiling
asking myself, "What should I wear?"
I got up from my bed
I turned around to look at my pillow
it looked so welcoming
"Why not?" I asked myself
and so I went back down
it's only the weekend anyway
so why not?
It's probably some time early afternoon
but I don't care
I am very comfortable
my fairy tale dreams came back to life
through my closed eye lids
back to the wonders of daydreaming
I play another person
or I make believe
Why not stay here for the rest of the day?
It's only Sunday
the last day of the weekend
a day to rest for tomorrow
Sunday
A day that is meant to rest our body
sorry to the early birds
I'm very comfortable
nothing will move me
Besides, it's only Sunday


Written in 1998
And yes, I loved sleep. I still do. Not a morning person here!

Steve Coming Back to GH

Steve Burton is coming back to General Hospital. But as who? That's the main question. His role that he had for 20+ years off and on has been taken over by Billy Miller. Here's a short recap of Jason and the two actors (from my point of view, of course):
GH experienced a new Executive Producer and Head Writer change after One Life to Live and All My Children were cancelled. Steve's favorite executive producer, Jill Farren Phelps, was deservingly fired and went to work at The Young & The Restless. Steve stuck around for several months, Jason did get interesting storylines but he wasn't part of the trio (Sonny, Carly, and Jason) hogging the show screen time any more. Steve was actually part of an ensemble cast! I guess he missed Jill a lot. He was her teacher's pet. Around the same time, Steve moved his family to Nashville, Tennessee and was voicing his anxiety to be with them. Pretty reasonable... So Steve quit GH as it wasn't accommodating him as much to travel to see his wife and children. Jason was shot, killed, and kicked into the freezing waters of the harbor, floating away to become fish food. Steve flew off to Tennessee in the sunset. Except, a couple of months later, Steve announced he had a role on Y&R! Where Jill is! Look, I get he needed to pay the bills, but surely he could've found work in Nashville? Seemed like Y&R had the means and needs to accommodate Steve to travel back and forth that GH didn't have. I saw this as bit of a betrayal. I bet GH does have the ability to make things work for their actor. Roger Howarth commutes between California (where GH is filmed) and New York (where his wife and kids live).
Billy, I guess since Jill arrived and quickly realized what a sucky EP Jill was, quit and about 2 years later since Steve left the role, took over the role of Jason.
Jason was rescued from the freezing cold harbor and recovered from his wound on Cassadine Island. Surprise, surprise, Helena had something to do with it as she always does. Helena liked Jason's skills as a mob enforcer and hated Sam, her husband's illegitimate granddaughter, so it was her psychotic revenge. Jason was transferred nearby to Port Charles to Helena's brother-in-law Victor Cassadine's clinic. He escaped but was hit by a car (Ava, by accident) she drove off. Jason's face was so badly mangled that after surgery, he had a brand new face! He also suffered from severe memory loss and became Jake Doe. He eventually discovered who he really was and gained his memory back.

What I don't like is that some actors, major example: Rebecca Budig who played Hayden Barnes, get fired or laid off for budget cuts and to accommodate the return of Steve Burton. If this had happened 10 years ago, I would've been thrilled at the return but I grew, started liking other actors that were more colorful than the one-note "cold stone" performance. I have no clue who Steve will play, the tale of two Jason's, or different character, or even how long other than it will be long term.
So... What? Nothing available at Days of Our Lives or The Bold & the Beautiful? Tyler Christopher just joined the cast of DOOL instead of returning to GH.

Obviously to say: I'm not ecstatic over the return...

From Crush To Disgust

It's a sad thing to realize that the man who I once had a massive crush on in the 1990s turned out to be an arrogant insensitive prick.

Once upon a time as a teenager in the 1990s, I used to obsessively watched reruns of Happy Days, Charles in Charge, and the first two seasons of Diagnosis Murder to enjoy Scott Baio and fantasized us being married. I also knew then that Scott was quite a ladies man and he did have that arrogance but at the time it was tolerable. Maybe because we didn't have social media at the time- the internet was still new yet popular as it is today. Now, especially with Twitter, I learned since that Scott is even more arrogant and condescending than I thought. Actually, he was starting to fall from my “stars in eyes” since early 2000s when he did that reality show of still being single and then later experiencing pregnancy while settling down with his wife, Renee Sloan. It was a wake up call to realize what an actual kind of man Scott is: I knew he was quite a ladies man (Heather Locklear, Erin Moran, Pamela Anderson, Nicolette Sheridan, to name the most famous few) but damn, he might as well be crowned as the ultimate man-whore!

Then things got pretty quiet: although I got pretty disgusted by his Playboy ways and lost some respect but I held on to some hope. I did give him the benefit of being a dedicated husband to Renee as well as being a good father to his daughter. Life went on.

Last year, everything started to change for the worst. Scott became a loud supporter for Donald Trump when he became candidate for President of the United States. He says he had always been a Republican ever since he registered to vote. OK, fine, since Scott registered in the late 1970s, there's been Presidents Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, George W. Bush, and now Trump. The Bushes didn't get much favoritisms from America, but ever since Trump took office their images and reputations have taken a much positive light! I am going to hold off on my rant about Trump another time… Anyway, I don't really truly care who you or anyone else vote for- it is your right as it is mine. Same goes for Scott. He went as far as to speak at one of the rallies, praising Trump, who is, in my opinion, unfit to become President and clearly hasn't read our Constitution nor the Bill of Rights. Scott stood faithfully with Trump during his sexual harassment scandals… I guess a ladies man stands by it's own kind. Scott also showed his disrespectful attitude towards Hillary Clinton, going as far to call her a cunt (most likely the worst name-call to call a woman). Yet, when President Bill Clinton was accused of sexual harassment, he was the bad guy in Scott’s eyes. Scott also claimed on his Twitter account that he “always” treated women right. Really, Scott? Have you seen your own reality show called Scott Baio is 45… And Still Single? One woman from Scott’s romantic past accused him of giving her a STD that ruined her life financially and ability to have a family. And there's also his ex girlfriend and former co-star Erin Moran.

Erin. She sadly passed away in April of 2017. When she was on his reality show, they somewhat made peace from their brief romantic fling during Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi. After both shows ended, Erin hit a rough patch after few bit parts became far and few in between until nothing. Then, by 2010, Erin's home foreclosed so she and her husband went to stay with his mother in a trailer park in Indiana. It's fair to say that she hit rock bottom after having a disagreement with her mother-in-law that she and her husband went to live in a hotel until they eventually went back to the trailer park where she recently died. Erin, along with Marion Ross, Don Most, Anson Williams, and the Tom Bosley estate, sued CBS (who owns Happy Days, why? I don't know considering it used to air on ABC) over merchandise rights. They won the settlement but Erin still continued to live in the trailer park. It's been said that many tried to help her: Henry Winkler tried to get Erin a role on Arrested Development but nothing came of it; Scott tried to help a few times but nothing so he gave up and went on with his own life while his wife Renee kept in contact with Erin until less of a month before her passing. Perhaps Erin had pride? She didn't want any handouts or anything other than digging out of her hole. Maybe she subconsciously grew to love the trailer park life and got used to it? Only Erin can answer that. She was disappointed in Hollywood on how they turned their back to her- she isn't the first nor would she be the last. It's a sad thing, a tragic side of stardom. Meanwhile, Scott has found a pretty steady career with Charles in Charge, Diagnosis Murder, and See Dad Run with an occasional guest starring or movie role. He has now semi-retired and is not worried about his bank account. They barely spoke to one another since; Erin hadn't kept much contact with Ron, occasionally with Henry, often with Marion, regularly with Anson and Don.

While I genuinely believe that Scott is completely devastated by her death 100% and perhaps it rattled him to the core. However he really went on to have a foot-in-the-mouth moment that, I think, will hang over his head until he dies. There were a few headlines from tabloids and talk claiming that Erin died of a heroin overdose. Scott seemed to have believed it. The autopsy hadn't been performed yet at the time and knowing Erin's drug use, Scott went with it. As a guest on a radio talk show, he was only asked about Erin's drug use. I think Scott should’ve avoided the subject, say “no comment” and kindly say wait until the autopsy is done. The following day after her death, the cause of death is Squamous Cell Carcinoma throat cancer in stage 4. According to her widower, she was diagnosed in November and started treatment. Scott nor his wife did not know this, neither did Ron or Marion. Anson knew; I don't know for sure about Don or Henry. Scott did admit he jumped quickly to conclusions while receiving backlash.

Then came the most ridiculous thing: Scott claimed that he is getting backlash from his original comments about Erin's cause of death because he is a Donald Trump supporter! Oh, please! Trump had nothing to do with this nor Scott’s support of his. This backlash is about Scott's foot in mouth blunder moment, not his Presidential vote. That's when my views on Scott went from starry crush eyes to pathetic moron. I can't look or think of him the same way any more. I don't hate him, but I now disrespect Scott. I won't hold his past work against him with the shows I still love and hold and dear to my heart. He is just barely anything to me anymore. 

My 'General Hospital' Tally

Favorite 'Modern’ Couples:

1. Dillon and Kiki
2. Ned and Olivia
3. Franco and Nina
4. Dante and Lulu
5. Jason and Sam
6. Franco and Elizabeth
7. Kevin and Laura
8. Hamilton and Hayden
9. Valentin and Nina
10. Nathan and Maxie

Favorite Bromance or Platonic Couples

1. Nathan and Dante
2. Scotty and Ava
3. Nikolas and Ava
4. Franco and Dr. O
5. Curtis and Jason
6. Tracy and Hayden
7. Tracy and Hamilton
8. Anna and Andre
9. Lulu and Maxie
10. Hamilton and Roxy

I betcha…

1. Nelle is Carly's daughter. Father could possibly be Carly's teenage former best friend, the late Reese Williams (the real Carly Roberts) but was raised by Carly's adoptive wayward father Frank Benson.

Driving Pet Peeves

I hate when I am driving and all of the sudden a car on the opposite side of the road in a turning lane would look like it's heading right at you! That scares me and without fail I would quickly maneuver my car to avoid getting hit. Can't that driver wait until I am completely out of the way? It takes a couple of seconds, it wouldn't kill them! When I need to make a turn without a traffic light, I wait until I have a nice gap so I can go and not be hit.

Another thing that bugs me is that I would be on the turning lane, waiting to turn but it would take awhile when an apparently dare driver honks to say Go! But an incoming car would be coming quickly and you just know that if you do go then you will get hit. Geez, I will go as I damn will please! I am not risking my life so that the car behind me can be first in line. If don't like it, go around and try yourself.

95% of the time, I like to make my turns and U-turns at the light. Feels more safer.

At a parking lot, I would be backing out of the parking space, thinking I am safe with no one behind me (or someone who wants the space but gave you back up room is fine too) when all of the sudden, a car would drive by! Slam the brakes! What the hell???? Didn't that driver see me backing up? Rude! Couldn't at least politely stop and let me finish backing up so I can leave.

Driving Miss Ego

Mariska Hargitay has played Detective/Sergeant/Lieutenant Olivia Benson for 18 years now on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I have been watching as a regular and loyal viewer since around season 5. In fact, Casey Novak was my first ADA and I had to adjust the fact that there was another ADA (Alexandra Cabot) before her when I watched repeats! Anyway, during that time, Olivia didn't really annoy me. In fact, she was a favorite along with her partner, Elliot Stabler. Although I may have been one of the few who did not want to see Olivia and Elliot together romantically (I loved his wife Kathy), I thought they did have a good partnership. It was about the time of season 8 when Olivia went downhill for me. Nothing against Mariska, who really loves her character, but I think it was more TPTB (The Powers That Be) who wanted Olivia front and center as Mariska was winning awards, thus forgetting that the show was an ensemble cast. It became the Elliot and Olivia show. Not complaining about Elliot (although I am sure he has his own complaints from other viewers) because he did have a life outside of work. His marriage was going through a crisis, up and down with separation, reuniting, new baby, older children getting into trouble. Meanwhile, Olivia pretty much stopped dating, I do believe she fell in love with Elliot and knew he would never be hers so got wrapped up in her job. During season 8, Olivia was pretty moody. I call it the PMS season.

Then, after season 12, Christopher Meloni/Elliot Stabler departed from the show. Nick Amaro became her partner and Olivia started to finally grow. After 4 seasons, in the season finale when Nick announced his own departure, Olivia reassured Nick that he was a great partner to her. She grew while with Elliot, she was stuck. While there's some viewers that protested online, I think Olivia is right about that 100%! While with Nick, Olivia had two romantic relationships- even moving in with one, Brian Cassidy who was originally in season 1 where they had a very brief relationship. After breaking up with Brian, Olivia became involved with baby boy Doe after finding him in an illegal trafficking ring. With her biological clock ticking, she fell in love and eventually adopted Noah after many kinks (finding out who his biological parents were). Now, Olivia finally has a child and is  now in a relationship with Ed Tucker. She has a life outside of work! Yay! I am genuinely happy for Olivia.

But then, there's Olivia's work ethic. When Captain Cragen left for retirement, he put Olivia in charge. While Olivia is dedicated to the unit, I think she's too dedicated. I do not think she is fit to be the leader. Personally, I think Elliot would've been better but he is not on anymore. Even John Munch would've been a better fit. Not Olivia. Being on SVU has warped her mind. Fin Tutuola has been on almost as long as Olivia but still has a steady head. He knows what cases to pursue and what not, especially if he was told by the higher brass.
In a recent episode (Impostor), Olivia thought a man using a different name and identity to have sex with vulnerable and desperate women who were trying to get their child into college was rape. I disagree. Rape is sex that someone doesn't agree to but is forced- it is an act of power. In this episode, the "victims" were willing participants, the woman called him up, they were kissing and fell on bed. He asked her if she was sure and she said yes. Not rape. In fact, she thought it was best sex ever as she text him that. But some minutes later, she found out he wasn't who he said to be and text him that he raped her. When Olivia spoke to her about it, she did say she didn't mean the way it sounded. But Olivia was convinced it was rape. Fraud yes, rape? No. Even Fin and Amanda Rollins weren't too sure. At first, ADA Barbra wasn't too sure but pursued it anyway. Even the Judge and the Defense Attorney thought it was a waste of time. I agree with them! But Olivia is too blind and pushed it forward. Sure, the man was scum, but not a rapist. I guess for Olivia, one night stands that provide no names exchanged is also rape? In other episodes before, even in the Stabler era, Olivia has trouble of understanding the word 'no', especially from her bosses- Cragen and the higher brass. Whenever she's told to drop it, she doesn't. Usually, it opens a can of uncontrollable worms and compromises the main case or something. I get Olivia doesn't like to be told what to do, who does? But when there's more than one people who tell her No, she goes for it. Very determined, too much. It's getting tiring. Yet, if Amanda or Sonny Carisi gets over the top and pretty much do the same thing as Olivia has consistently done, they are bad cops and she wants nothing more than to fire them (especially Amanda) if SVU wasn't so short staffed. Pretty hypocrisy to me.

Having On-line Friends

In the past 4 months, I have lost 3 online friends, Dee, Marie and Peggy. Two were from the Beatles and the other with soap operas (although, one of the Beatles fans was also a soap fan, but I associate her more with the Beatles). All three were rather expected with warning signs, yet after 'knowing' them for a number of years I will miss them.

Now, some people I know personally would scuff at the idea of being friends with someone I never met personally. In a way, I can understand the worry part- there could always be someone on the other side of the computer who is a complete opposite of what they say. It could be a serial killer or pedophile. I like to surf in message boards of things I like so I can talk to people, know their point of view and see things that make sense or answer a question.
With me, after talking to the same people over and over consistently, trust starts to build and find oneself to be opening up. A message board or a chat room starts to feel like a family-vibe, sending a lengthy personal message or email. You start following on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, MySpace, Facebook where you reveal more of who you are as a person. Mostly it's interest or hobbies. Then it will grow to sending Christmas cards and talking over the phone. And maybe a face to face meeting. You then realize that when out shopping, you will see something that would remind you of your online friend, maybe get it as a gift. Real friendships form.
When certain people I know personally complains that I am not social- yet I believe I am, just in this modern technology way. Different generation? Perhaps. Yet I have encountered many age groups. No matter what though, it's nice to know I have friends around the world. It is a good source of information to learn. Like an international recipe I would see on T.V. and would ask if it's indeed popular or if I am planning to be in their neck of the woods, where to go? It is also a great feeling to know that you aren't alone when dealing with a latest turmoil drama in life. I have also come to notice that my online friends like and reacted to my posts more than my own family members.

I think this article sums up my thoughts even more, sharing my point of view.

Richie & Mo

I know Ringo Starr often refers second wife Barbara Bach as the 'love of his life' and right he should be. They have been married for over 30 years and are still going strong. However, I do believe that Ringo has two loves of his life, Barbara and his first wife Maureen Tigrett. Not just because Maureen is the classic 'mother of his children' but it's also because Maureen knew Ringo before he joined the Beatles, she knew Richie Starkey, pre famous when nobody knew his name. Ringo has always counted Maureen as his family, and he was at her bedside when she passed away a little over 20 years ago. The one thing I really don't like is reading certain Beatles/Ringo fans blaming Maureen for the break-down of the marriage after her affair with George Harrison. Yes, it was the last straw. But Maureen isn't 100% of the blame. Ringo wasn't exactly becoming fun to hang around with- it was during the time he was drinking heavily, the break up of the Beatles with depression and feeling at a loss while finding work (film), restarting his career as a soloist musician, his own infidelity. Meanwhile Maureen got married young, had children young, went through several hairstyle changes, probably having an identity crises of who's Maureen that's not Joseph and Florence Cox's daughter, Ringo Starr's wife and mother of 3 (before Isaac and Augusta Tigrett existed)? Not to mention the pressure of living with a rock star with fans coming to their home, mail and reporters/early paparazzi. Perhaps if they had less stress like his drinking problem and infidelity taken out of the equation then their marriage would have lasted longer than it did. However, that being said, both Ringo and Maureen found love in Barbara and Isaac, they all settled on a family vibe. I definitely know that Ringo treats Augusta, Maureen's daughter with Isaac, as part of the family. Peace and love, as Ringo says.

Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Lizzie Borden after she was acquitted in her murder trail of her father and stepmother Andrew and Abby Borden

Since I was about 15 years old (I am in my 30s), I have had an interest in Lizzie Borden- even dressed as her for Halloween. Honestly, I don't know how it happened- it was around the time of O. J. Simpson murder trial and the case was occasionally compared to Lizzie's. Also during that time, A&E and the History channels aired the 1975 TV movie The Legend of Lizzie Borden starring Elizabeth Montgomery who I loved (still) and she died in 1995 during that time too. So needlessly to say, Lizzie's legacy was in my face and being a history buff, I got interested. I read books (this was just before the Internet took over), although I didn't get obsessed about it as I did with The Beatles.

Both The Legend of Lizzie Borden and Lizzie Borden Took an Ax (2014 with Christina Ricci who made a miniseries of fictional life after the trail The Lizzie Borden Chronicles in 2015) had Lizzie killed her father and stepmother, like an 'What If?' scenerio. Many people do believe that Lizzie did the deed- her alibi was shaky and was changed a few times when she was questioned. When her stepmother was being hacked to death, Lizzie claimed to be in the backyard's shed eating pears and looking for sinkers as well as doing some ironing. With her father, I believe she claimed she was resting.
Lizzie certainly did have motive- her father, despite having money, was a cheapskate and refused to get into the modern times of the day of electricity and plumping and she did not get along with her stepmother, calling her Mrs. Borden. Not long after their deaths, Lizzie and her big sister Emma moved to a much bigger house in the neighborhood with its modern devices with the inheritance from their father.

Do I think Lizzie did it? Honestly, I do not know. The evidence was shaky as well as contaminated with countless people coming in and ruining forensics. Not to mention that some other evidence also disintegrated with age and being passed around to anybody who believed to have the answers, which also got lost. Thanks to those problems, now the security to gain evidence is tight and the technology these days can assure that the crime can be solved.
As I said, I don't know if Lizzie killed her father and stepmother herself- Mr. Borden did have some enemies floating around. I do have a theory that Lizzie was involved in some way, like requesting to put a hit out on them. Mrs. Borden had more hacks than Mr. Borden and due to the strain of the relationship between her and her step daughters, it wouldn't surprise me if Lizzie took it upon herself to end Mrs. Borden's life. There's some anger issues going on there. As for her father, I think the only major problem was him being a cheapskate. Other than that, Lizzie was Daddy's little girl- her middle name was Andrew. Perhaps he was the one who was killed by an outside enemy?

There is something else that drives me crazy: there's claims that the Borden house (now a bed & breakfast museum) is haunted; many believe that it's Lizzie but I highly doubt that. I could buy Andrew and Abby Borden, maybe even Mr. Borden's first wife Sarah. But not Lizzie. She hated that house- why would her ghost would want to be there? If there's any ghost hunters reading this and want to find Lizzie's ghost, I would suggest Maplecroft. It is the home Lizzie bought and moved in until she died, the house she lived. Yet, it is a private home so I don't know if the current owner would appreciate the intrusion unless special permission.

Cynthia is with...

 Cynthia Lennon has been dead for almost two months now and whenever I see comments, it's mostly "Cynthia is with John now". Now, as you probably know, I am a huge John and Cynthia fan. I love them together. But that being said, I can't help but be put off on that. During the first week of her death, I did post on my tumblr that not only did Cynthia got to John Lennon first in life, she got to him first in spirit. I still stand by that. But, I also believe that Cynthia is with her fourth and final husband, Noel Charles. Honestly, if Cynthia was going to be side by side with drifting on the clouds, it would be with Noel. With John, I would think that it would be more like confronting him about his attitude towards their son Julian and making peace between them. In life, Cynthia, although still much in love with John until her dying day, did move on away from John. The only thing she wanted from John after their divorce was to be friends and parents to their son Julian. But instead, John cut Cynthia out of his life as much as he could. John spoke frequently and loudly his love for Yoko Ono, who said herself that when she dies, she'll be with John.

I do believe that Noel Charles was the love of Cynthia's life, while John was her first love with a special place in her heart. With Noel, Cynthia spent the last 15 years of her life happy, probably the most happy she ever been in her entire life. She pointed out in her second autobiography that if she would've gone through with life with John Lennon again, knowing what lay ahead- she said no. Cynthia would've turned around and walked away. Life with John brought Cynthia heartbreak that she had to be reminded of over and over again when doing interviews- John cheating and leaving her for another woman. For making their son's life difficult with a stepmother who doesn't take much interest in him and inheritance fighting. Who would want to go through that? Although Cynthia did spoke about John with love, no bitterness, being classy about the end of her marriage. But with Noel, he was someone different. Maybe it was age and maturity by the time they met well into their 50s/60s that it was perfect timing for them to be together. Noel was the love of Cynthia's life, her longest marriage out of four. They lived quietly yet excitedly too. Life wasn't boring for them, they had privacy that Cynthia craved during her time with John. Noel made Cynthia happy, so therefore, and unfortunately overlooked, Noel and Cynthia are together again.

Black & White to Color

 Original- black and white

Photoshop- colorized

(Okay it's not the same exact picture but you get the idea- at least I hope you do...)

 

I've been aware of this black and white pictures (including movies, TV shows) to color for about a decade now and to tell you the truth: I hate it. From my understanding, it started with Ted Turner- the founder of TV channels CNN, TBS, TNT and ex-husband of Jane Fonda. I don't know what his thinking was but he had some idea to make shows like Bewitched, I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie (among others) and movies like Casablanca that were black and white (Bewitched was black and white for the first 3 seasons and I Dream of Jeannie for one season before becoming color by 1966 so those colorful seasons don't count; it was naturally done) into color. Now these days it seems to be everywhere, so much so that people are starting to think that the fake colorized photos were real. I don't see anything wrong with having things black and white- in fact I think there's a lot to it in black and white. There's a mystery sense- even fooling people into thinking that Lucille Ball, Rita Hayworth and Jane Asher were blondes when they were redheads. There's emotions, there's beautiful shadows and contrasts that color pictures simply do not have. When someone colors a picture, it looks painted on, fake, and best chances would get the color wrong- whether it's an outfit or hair or the surroundings of a place where the picture in question was taken. You are not going to see me coloring classic B&W pictures at all. In fact, if I find a colorized picture, I will dig deep until I find the original B&W photo to use instead. If someone could find that picture to color then I could find the picture myself and enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, I love color pictures as much as you do but only when they are done naturally with the right film or digital or  whatever's the thing these days. I also love black and white pictures- there's an historical feel to them even if it was taken recently and done right. 

'General Hospital' Character Mistake

Not every TV show is perfect- there will be mistakes that were bad decisions. They seemed right at the time but once it succeeds, the realization knocks it right off its feet. Soap operas are no different. General Hospital have made quite a number of blunders through it's 51 years. In my opinion, the most recent mistakes have been killing off Alan Quatermaine and Georgie Jones, the firing decision of Anna Lee (who played Lila Quatermaine)- she died not long afterwards, as did her character. The decision could come from a number of different directions. It could be the actor who wants to leave/quit, storyline purposes, fired by the Executive Producer/The Powers That Be (TPTB), the network suits. But in this situation, it's not about a firing or a departure of a character and actor. It's more about the actor being a recast of a character-- Roger Howarth, who originally played Todd Manning from One Life to Live and General Hospital (there's previous entries about this) and due to the legal tangle web with Prospect Park over One Life to Live that Todd Manning had to disappear and no longer exist. Luckily for General Hospital, the actor- Roger- did not have to disappear. The Headwriter had to create a brand new and past characters for the actors. Kristen Alderson and Michael Easton both got brand new characters- father and daughter team of Silas Clay and Kiki Jerome. Roger got the recast of Franco, aka Robert Frank, previously played by James Franco. Big mistake!

James Franco have the same agent as Steve Burton (Jason Morgan) and decided to further his acting talents to soap operas after being in movies, television, theatre, and now soap operas. It was arranged for James to come on and play a serial killer yet popular artist obsessed with Jason. The part was especially written for James- just like Helena Cassadine was for Elizabeth Taylor. Granted, the part of Helena Cassadine was eventually replaced by Constance Towers but there's a couple of differences:

1) It had been well over a decade between the recast of the character. Elizabeth got the part in the early 1980s while Constance took over in the mid 1990s.

2) By the time Constance took over the role as Helena, Elizabeth had already retired from acting. The only exceptional acting role Elizabeth did after retirement was a TV movie written by her former stepdaughter Carrie Fisher.

With James Franco and Roger Howarth as Franco, it had been less than 5 years when the recast happened. The character was originally killed off by the previous headwriter and when the new headwriter came in and had to come up with three "new" characters, the idea of Franco somehow came up. I believe the original intent was because Franco was already connected to many people in Port Charles. At the time, he was believed to be a Quatermaine and interacted with others during James' tenure on the show. For some reason, it became a brilliant idea to resurrect the much-hated character (honestly, I didn't hate that James Franco was on the show- I am a fan of his- but the character was made to be hated), somehow redeem him by saying that many of his ideas were made to twist their minds of believing something bad happened but it didn't really happened or it was pushed too far and turning out that he had a brain tumor, becoming a changed man. Not only that, but as the chemistry between Todd and Carly worked before, the headwriter teamed Franco up with one of his victims- Carly. The headwriter said that he was aware of the risk and took it anyway. But somewhere along the way I feel some backpedalling going on. Eventually, Franco turned out not to be a Quatermaine after all, but instead was the son of Heather Webber and Scott Baldwin. The problem that I've seen surface a lot is not the actor- the viewers enjoy the actor- it's the character that is the error. And I agree. I've been trying my best to try to accept the situation because at this point, it's way too late. It's been very close to one year and it's already been cemented. It's a difficult go-with-the-flow to be on. I've been pretending that the character isn't named Franco, but instead a James or a Fred. Any name but Franco. I don't mind Heather and Scott being the parents, I don't really mind Roger's character is romantically involved with Carly...although I really wish he interacts with other actors more than just the same ones over and over. When James was Franco, he was romantically (to put it mildly) with Maxie and believed to have raped Sam, making her believe that her baby was his rather than Jason's. James was in Kirsten Storms and Kelly Monaco's age range. Roger, on the other hand...well...with his height and size compared to James, even Kirsten and Kelly, it's like a decade older giant. There's like a decade age difference between Roger and James. Plus the height, body mass, all different. I know it's what happens when a recast happens but every time those 'memories' were brought up for Roger with Kirsten and Kelly, it just does not bode well with me.

I would have preferred Roger to be a completely different and brand new character like Silas Clay and Kiki Jerome. My ideas were having Roger play Lucy Coe's brother, or, as he's now being as Heather and Scott's son, but not as Franco. Keep the storyline of when Heather and Scott conceived their baby and Heather selling him off as she had done with her other son, Steven. Then have this brand new man coming to Port Charles trying to find his biological parents. Yes, it's been known to happen so many times before (Carly was one!) but at least it would've been much better than resurrecting a negative-reacted character like Franco. 

The Flower of Love

A love is like a flower
plant a seed in the soil
watch it grow
watch it blossom
fill with admire

The stem stands up, holding all together
the leaves spread to show their beauty
the petals blooming their colors
full of nature life
be in awe

Within time
the petals wrinkle
then wilt
before flying away in the wind
letting go to the unknown

Like death do love part
deep down the love lingers
down to the root
that keeps the spirit alive
holding together

Nourish with sun and water
to grow again
a new love is born
a new piece of life
for a new generation

Originally written in 2004

Heather Mills

It seems like if you are a Beatles fan, you have to hate Heather Mills. She is Paul McCartney's second wife and the mother of Beatrice; they divorced after 4-6 years of marriage (together for 4, separated for 2). From the start of their relationship, Heather was quickly labeled as a gold-digger and the age difference- by the time Heather was born, Paul was already an adult, famous, engaged to Jane Asher, and about to record the Beatles' White Album. On another hand, it was pretty divided about the fans' and media's feelings of Heather: you would either love her or hate her. Now, since their divorce, it's been majority of hate and if you do find someone who actually likes her then you may as well have found an Unicorn! Actually you may as well have because this Beatles fan actually doesn't hate Heather. I honestly don't mind her. I don't exactly love her but I don't hate her. I don't wish her death or ill or anything horrible happen to her. The same majority of fans would much prefer to believe that the marriage was a mistake and would rather forget that the marriage even existed. I suppose they also like to think that Beatrice is a motherless child who Paul is only partly raising.
Heather was also branded as a liar so what I'm going to do is use the stories that she's told in a repetitive matter (how she kept it the same over and over without changing anything- it's hard to lie when you keep telling the same story) and the people- especially Paul- who agree to the facts.

Marriage being a Mistake
It was in 1999 when Paul first met Heather at an awards show; Heather was there to present an award to a handicap woman without hands or legs while Paul was there to present a Linda McCartney award to some animal lover. Paul saw her, leaned in to a friend (Piers Morgan, who claims to have hooked them up and later regret it; however I don't think he necessary hooked them up as he claimed as even Heather said so. I've heard that Richard Branson had more of a hand into the hooking up than Piers did...well no matter the story, the point is this:) Paul had his eyes on Heather. He had recently became a widower almost a year after Linda, his beloved wife of 29 years, had died of breast cancer.
You could say that he was vulnerable. It's also mostly believed that Heather took advantage of that. I don't really believe that and here's why: both Paul and Heather have said that it was Paul who chased after Heather. Not the other way around. Also, as some people tend to forget, Paul is a type of man that needs a woman at his side 90% of the time. You can judge by his own track record
Let's start in 1959 as that's when Paul started having serious relationships:
Dot Rhone- 1959-1962*
Iris Caldwell- 1962-1963*
Jane Asher- 1963-1968*
Francie Schwartz- 1968
Linda Eastman McCartney- 1968-1998
Heather Mills McCartney- 1999-2006
Nancy Shevell McCartney- 2007- present
*Paul cheated on these women; Jane caught him in bed with Francie Schwartz that led to their breakup.
The longest loneliness gap that Paul has ever had as a single man was between Linda's death and meeting Heather. Between Heather and Nancy, Paul did date- I remember Sabrina Guiness (although I don't think it was very serious, more of casual dating). So from knowing that, Paul may be vulnerable, in grief, but I also strongly believed that he knew exactly what he was doing.
I was 16 when Linda died and in my teen-over-dramatic mind, I had terrifying visions of Paul morphing himself as a recluse who'll watch the wallpaper peel and the spiders taking over the household to even committing suicide as he couldn't live without the love of his life. Linda was at Paul's side 24/7 for their 30 years together with the exception of 11 days apart and they practically did everything together. So when Paul started to see Heather, I was happy for him. To this day, I believe that Heather helped Paul out of his grief to be able to live again. Although Paul has never stopped recording, he did stop touring in 1993 and not long after that Linda discovered the lump in her breast. It wasn't until 2002 that Paul started to tour again. He loves to tour! Honestly I think he'll be touring up until the day he dies. I think Heather helped boost Paul's energy and do other things. She opened his eyes to minefields while he opened her eyes to animal rights and cruelty which to this day Heather has been campaigning. How can I hate Heather for helping Paul out with his grief? Even Paul himself had said that...
Another thing to point out is that Heather does resemble Linda in some ways. Blonde hair, blue eyes, outspoken on their charities- I can see why Paul fell for Heather. Funny enough, their daughter Beatrice looks a lot like Stella (Paul and Linda's daughter)! And what's even funnier is that Stella was not at all a Heather fan. But more about that later...
I do believe that Paul genuinely fell in love with Heather as her own self. He went out of his way to help her with her charities and share his spot light with her ( many will say HOG the spotlight). I also believe that he did wanted the marriage to work.
In retrospect, yes I do think it was a mistake. Paul should've taken more time to grieve for Linda and not dive into a relationship a year after her death. I think the average is 4 years but to each your own and knowing Paul's record, I can't say I was surprised that he had a girlfriend a year later. I do think that Paul and Heather did have their happy times and yes, I do believe that Heather did love Paul as himself (I'm sure a lot will disagree with me but this is my opinion), I have seen pictures where they look like they are in love and happy with each other.
Paul was asked if he considered his failed marriage as a mistake:
"OK, yeah, I suppose that has to be the prime contender. But I don't wanna down anyone. These things happen, y'know? But I tend to look at the positive side, which is that I have another beautiful daughter out of it." -2009

I believe Paul is trying to look at his marriage to Heather as not a mistake as if he hadn't married her, then he wouldn't have had his little girl.

 Heather with Paul, his daughter Mary and grandson Arthur

Heather with Paul and Stella

The Big Kids vs. Heather

It's pretty common for the children from the first marriage that happened to be a love story wouldn't be too pleased about their father falling in love with another woman not long after their mother died. The children- Heather, Mary, Stella and James- were deeply grieving over the loss. I do know that Linda's death had hit them hard, even to this very day. 

Heather- it's hard to say on how she really felt about her stepmother who happened to have the same name. Heather started to shun the public eye, especially after her biological father Mel See committed suicide after less than a year after her mother died. Even to this day, Heather hasn't been seen in the public except for one time just a few years ago at the time of this writing. Some insiders have claimed that Heather didn't like Heather Mills at all. Meanwhile Heather Mills claimed that while she was with Paul, Heather called her an angel and they spoke everyday. While Paul and Heather were in the divorce court, it was said that for a while Paul and Heather were estranged and that Heather Mills helped repair their relationship. I think I will believe the court on this one over the insiders because in court, it's under oath- you can't lie. As far as I know, Heather Mills never spoke a mean word about her former stepdaughter, rather I have found the opposite and see a fondness that Heather Mills had for Heather. I also remember when Heather Mills was pregnant with Beatrice and appeared on Larry King Live and he mistakenly said that Paul was going to have 4 children and Heather quickly corrected Larry that Paul will have 5. So my take is that Heather did like her stepmother (of course I could be wrong but due to the lack of evidence, that's my conclusion until further notice). As for now? I don't know. 

Mary- I think Mary was uncomfortable but tried to give the effort to accept Heather as her stepmother. I'm sure it wasn't easy but at the time what choice did she really have?
"I did not want Dad to be alone. I didn't want him to be a widower. After all, at the end of the day, everyone wants everybody to be happy." -2004
Now, I don't know if Mary went to the wedding. At first it was reported that she did go but left early, then it was reported during Paul and Heather's divorce that Mary did not go to the wedding so with these conflicting reports it's hard to say for sure. However please realize that when Paul and Heather got married in June of 2002, Mary was heavily pregnant with her second child at the time so if she didn't go to the wedding or left early it could have been a greater chance that it could've been about her pregnancy. It's funny and strange that the media or the fans don't think about that. When Heather was pregnant with Beatrice the following year, it was said that the children weren't pleased with the news but Mary seemed to be the opposite
"I'm really pleased about it. It's great news and I'm looking forward to seeing the baby" -2003 just before Beatrice was born

After Paul and Heather separated, Mary, Stella and James especially stepped up and supported their father. Mary, especially, bonded with her father as they now had failed marriages in common.

"Me and Dad have a proper grown-up relationship now. I feel I was a kid for so long, but now we have both been through a lot. We're both divorcés, for a start" -2008

It's not surprising that Paul and Heather's divorce was big news and Mary was asked about that. It appears that Mary had taken the high road.

"I knew her because they were married. But that's not really my relationship so I try to keep away from that in interviews and things. It is not my relationship. I knew her. You know, they were married and they have a lovely...I have a lovely little sister." -2010

Stella- Let's just safely say that of all kids, I'll say that if there's a leader of anti-Heather it would've been Stella. I'm sure Stella did give her effort to accept Heather as her stepmother, especially after she got married just before Beatrice was born. I recall that Stella cut her honeymoon short to come home after getting the news that Beatrice was born. Heather did attend a couple of Stella's fashion shows and they were together during the Concert for New York City in 2001 after the terrorist attacks of September 11th. During the divorce proceedings, all bets were off. Heather did come after Stella for wanting the family jewels and things like that so there's certainly no love between the two. 

James- This year he revealed that he didn't like Heather while she was with his dad. He was grieving over the loss of his mother, was suffering from depression and did his share of drugs. I don't think seeing his dad falling quickly in love and moving on with his life not long after didn't help- and I don't necessary think it's was completely Heather's fault 100% as James had his own issues to deal with. As for Heather, she hasn't said anything about James. As for now, James did admit that he does respect Heather as Beatrice's mother and seemed to be at peace, especially now that Paul is happily married and settled down with Nancy.

"My relationship with Heather was not very good. I didn’t like her. But I wouldn’t want to say anything negative about her because she’s a good mother to Beatrice and that’s the most important thing. Beatrice is adorable. She’s great, a real joy for the whole family." -2013

“It was a difficult time. Dad was married to Heather and we didn’t get on. I don’t have a problem with Heather now because she is Beatrice’s mum but at the time it was difficult for me, I was so into Kurt Cobain and this mentality so I didn’t really like her. It was very difficult, I had my own issues." -2013

“I never see Heather but if I ever did see her I would have full respect because she is Beatrice’s mother” -2013

Heather the Gold-Digger

A very popular claim that Heather received the moment it was announced that she and Paul were officially a couple and it has been labeled on her to this very day. When Paul married Heather, he did not draw up a prenup. There's conflicting reports that she requested a prenup and he said no while Paul wanted one but Heather refused- I'll just leave that alone because who knows (however I will point out that Paul never denied Heather's claim) the real truth? Only Paul and Heather do. Anyway I don't want to be in this area for long other than this part: When Paul and Heather divorced, he had to pay her $42+ million after 4-6 years of marriage. However that payout was an one-time payment, there's no annual alimony. What is annual is the child support that Paul is paying to Heather monthly until Beatrice turns 18. Once Beatrice turns 18, that's it- Heather wouldn't be getting anymore child support checks. Personally if I think she's a gold-digger, then I would think Heather would've gotten an annual alimony monthly payments that cost enough to buy a planet out in outer space. Heather claimed that her divorce money mostly went into her V-Bites restaurant investment and barely has any left. I'm sure the child support payments to help some costs but other than that, Heather has a food empire with Redwood/V-Bites franchise and being trained to compete for the Paraplegic Winter Olympics of skiing. Heather is also currently involved with a man who work(ed?) as a bartender and pool boy at a hotel- not exactly a huge money-maker paying job. Besides, I was never really worried about Paul's bank account- he seemed to have a type of account that once you withdraw money, it would instantly fill up from a CD sale or a ticket sold.

Paul flashing the Wings' band logo while promoting "Wingspan"

No Linda Allowed?
According to a recent article in The Guardian (2013) for an interview with Paul, it mentioned that Heather didn't allow Paul to sing any songs that were written for or even talk about Linda. I call that bull-crap. In 2001, Paul released a documentary about his band he had with Linda, Wingspan, as well as a greatest hits C.D. where he spoke plenty about Linda in both the documentary (interviewed by his daughter Mary) and promoting with interviews. Heather was even thanked on the DVD sleeve. As for the concerts, I personally have seen Paul twice while he was with Heather and yes, Paul did indeed sing songs that were written for Linda- My Love, Maybe I'm Amazed, Calico Skies- as well as the songs he wrote with Linda- Live and Let Die, Jet, Band on the Run.
Granted, I don't know what Heather really thought of Linda privately. All I could really say was that Heather did spoke highly of Linda, complimenting her. Of course it could've been all talk and in truth be the opposite but I haven't really found anything other than unreliable "sources" that tend to exaggerate. As the saying goes: don't believe in everything you read when it comes to entertainment media. Honestly, I did and still do felt sorry for Heather for being the next woman after Linda, who left being huge shoes that was difficult to fill. I'm sure if it was Nancy who was the next woman instead of Heather, she would've have had a difficult time herself as well. 

Post Divorce

Heather is currently involved with Jamie Walker while Paul remarried to Nancy Shevell in 2011. They had moved on from their divorce and share custody of Beatrice. From the moment they separated, it seemed like the custody situation with Beatrice had been settled very quickly. Although Heather is the main carer, Paul has equal quality time with their little girl. I remember for the longest time that it was one week with one parent and the next week with the other- I'm sure it's the same to this day as I haven't heard anything different. When Heather has Beatrice, Paul takes that time to do his performances out of the country (but Beatrice has accompanied him from time to time to his concerts). But when he's with Beatrice, then he's with Beatrice: he doesn't want to be on the road. There's never been a custody fight drama or anything- Paul and Heather seem to be on the same wavelength as parents and work together to be sure that their daughter is happy and well taken care of. I wouldn't say that Paul and Heather are friends but since their divorce came final there's been no drama between the two- no money issues, no custody issues, nothing. It's been peaceful between Paul and Heather as far as I know. 

My conclusion is that Paul and Heather weren't better off as a couple, much less married. Maybe a fling with a child but not a long term permanent family lifestyle. While the majority of the fans and media claim that it was a dark time, a mistake, anything to bring down the relationship- perhaps they are right. However sometimes you have to go through the dark times to get to the light of the tunnel. People tend to forget that Paul McCartney the legend who could do no wrong is actually a human being just like me and you the reader of this blog who makes mistakes. I certainly have had my fair share of falling in love with the wrong man but I don't disown it. I learn from it instead and that's what I strongly believe that Paul has been doing when it comes to Heather Mills. It's life and life has ups and downs.