Cynthia is with...

 Cynthia Lennon has been dead for almost two months now and whenever I see comments, it's mostly "Cynthia is with John now". Now, as you probably know, I am a huge John and Cynthia fan. I love them together. But that being said, I can't help but be put off on that. During the first week of her death, I did post on my tumblr that not only did Cynthia got to John Lennon first in life, she got to him first in spirit. I still stand by that. But, I also believe that Cynthia is with her fourth and final husband, Noel Charles. Honestly, if Cynthia was going to be side by side with drifting on the clouds, it would be with Noel. With John, I would think that it would be more like confronting him about his attitude towards their son Julian and making peace between them. In life, Cynthia, although still much in love with John until her dying day, did move on away from John. The only thing she wanted from John after their divorce was to be friends and parents to their son Julian. But instead, John cut Cynthia out of his life as much as he could. John spoke frequently and loudly his love for Yoko Ono, who said herself that when she dies, she'll be with John.

I do believe that Noel Charles was the love of Cynthia's life, while John was her first love with a special place in her heart. With Noel, Cynthia spent the last 15 years of her life happy, probably the most happy she ever been in her entire life. She pointed out in her second autobiography that if she would've gone through with life with John Lennon again, knowing what lay ahead- she said no. Cynthia would've turned around and walked away. Life with John brought Cynthia heartbreak that she had to be reminded of over and over again when doing interviews- John cheating and leaving her for another woman. For making their son's life difficult with a stepmother who doesn't take much interest in him and inheritance fighting. Who would want to go through that? Although Cynthia did spoke about John with love, no bitterness, being classy about the end of her marriage. But with Noel, he was someone different. Maybe it was age and maturity by the time they met well into their 50s/60s that it was perfect timing for them to be together. Noel was the love of Cynthia's life, her longest marriage out of four. They lived quietly yet excitedly too. Life wasn't boring for them, they had privacy that Cynthia craved during her time with John. Noel made Cynthia happy, so therefore, and unfortunately overlooked, Noel and Cynthia are together again.

Frustrated with Mother

I am getting fed up with my mother. She tells me one thing and does another, like 'Do as I say but not what I do' and also, in my opinion, being a hypocrite. Big example: She cooks something and expects me to eat it- freshly made and leftovers. It would stay in the refrigerator for as long as possible. When I cook (and I cook a LOT), not even 24 hours later, it would get thrown out! Never mind my dreams of eating leftovers for lunch during the week or dinner. And yet during this time, my mom lectures me of money and food waste. How is it OK for her food to be saved but not mine? She is throwing away things that we both bought with our money- especially mine. What is this? What the hell is her problem with my food? She hadn't really done this before until this year- is her resolution for 2015 is to throw away whatever I make? At this point, I want to store my food at work! Or get my own mini-fridge for my room (but where would I put it? Every space in my room is taken). Anything just so my mom wouldn't get her hypocritical hands away from my stuff! 

I am also getting sick of the stuff she makes- it's the same thing over and over again. Her favorite is stew. I am so sick of stew that I am at the point of never wanting to have it again, ever. And the way she cooks the meat- beef chunks- is tough and hard to chew, very chewy. She doesn't realize that beef chunks need a longer cooking time, an hour at least. But she cooks it less than that. I would have to scoop up either the smaller pieces to just the veggies. And she makes this weekly and expects ME to eat the leftovers. Why doesn't she eat it???? I mean, help me out here of consuming this! Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever seen her eat any of her- or mine- leftovers. She would either make something else or get fast food while her beloved food waits for my unwanted attention. 

I think I should make food for myself rather than the household since it'll wind up in the trash the following day. And if any leftovers, store it at work! I rather have my leftovers in an overstuffed refrigerator than being at my own home. It would be safe!