Invisible in Chaos

Surrounded by people
They say they want to talk
Yet not being talked to
They say they are interested
Nobody to listen
They say I am included
All I got was short attention span
They are all talking
To each other and crisscross
But not to me
I might as well be invisible
I think about sneaking off
Without saying goodbye
Nobody would miss me
Or noticed I am not there
Barely an acknowledgement
Why do I bother going?
I thought it would be fun
I was wrong
They say they are concerned
Not really
Do they really care?
Maybe pretending to
Lesson learned
I am happy by my lonesome

Written in 2016

Social Media Pet Peeves

I have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr (MySpace too but I admittedly abandoned it once it got out of fashion and it got hard to navigate with so many "upgrades" it went through).

Understandably with social media, entertainment fans tend to set up an account dedicated to a favorite entertainer. I myself am guilty of making a few fan accounts of my own. However, on Instagram especially, a person will start using the fan account in question and turn it into a personal account. I can't stand that! Sure, they will post a picture to go with the account theme but the caption would be completely different. Instead of reading a fact, debunking a myth, sharing a quote or whatever, I would read something like "I got a big test tomorrow and barely studied!" or "I think my boyfriend is cheating on me, so I am cutting his head out of my pictures" or something. I apologize but if I want to read something personal about the person, then I'd follow their own account to get their own life story and dilemmas. But no, I am following a fan account that likes to talk about themselves rather than their subject. I have sworn to myself that I will never turn my fan accounts into my life story. It's what my personal account/profile is for. I am okay with expressing opinions and musings about the entertainer in question because it's about the entertainer!

Driving Pet Peeves

I hate when I am driving and all of the sudden a car on the opposite side of the road in a turning lane would look like it's heading right at you! That scares me and without fail I would quickly maneuver my car to avoid getting hit. Can't that driver wait until I am completely out of the way? It takes a couple of seconds, it wouldn't kill them! When I need to make a turn without a traffic light, I wait until I have a nice gap so I can go and not be hit.

Another thing that bugs me is that I would be on the turning lane, waiting to turn but it would take awhile when an apparently dare driver honks to say Go! But an incoming car would be coming quickly and you just know that if you do go then you will get hit. Geez, I will go as I damn will please! I am not risking my life so that the car behind me can be first in line. If don't like it, go around and try yourself.

95% of the time, I like to make my turns and U-turns at the light. Feels more safer.

At a parking lot, I would be backing out of the parking space, thinking I am safe with no one behind me (or someone who wants the space but gave you back up room is fine too) when all of the sudden, a car would drive by! Slam the brakes! What the hell???? Didn't that driver see me backing up? Rude! Couldn't at least politely stop and let me finish backing up so I can leave.

General Hospital Flashback: Skye & Luke

"There's that chemistry that we have as actors that they can't help but write in. We can't help but play it even when it's not written. Tony and I like each other so much, and it translates in how well we work together"

"What Skye had with Luke was immature love. They'd never make a sacrifice for the other or be equal in any way. He was bad for her and she knew it. But they 'get' each other."

"Unfortunately, I didn't get to see Tony Geary, who was away while I was there. It's always a treat to see him."
Robin Christopher (about Tony Geary)

Driving Miss Ego

Mariska Hargitay has played Detective/Sergeant/Lieutenant Olivia Benson for 18 years now on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I have been watching as a regular and loyal viewer since around season 5. In fact, Casey Novak was my first ADA and I had to adjust the fact that there was another ADA (Alexandra Cabot) before her when I watched repeats! Anyway, during that time, Olivia didn't really annoy me. In fact, she was a favorite along with her partner, Elliot Stabler. Although I may have been one of the few who did not want to see Olivia and Elliot together romantically (I loved his wife Kathy), I thought they did have a good partnership. It was about the time of season 8 when Olivia went downhill for me. Nothing against Mariska, who really loves her character, but I think it was more TPTB (The Powers That Be) who wanted Olivia front and center as Mariska was winning awards, thus forgetting that the show was an ensemble cast. It became the Elliot and Olivia show. Not complaining about Elliot (although I am sure he has his own complaints from other viewers) because he did have a life outside of work. His marriage was going through a crisis, up and down with separation, reuniting, new baby, older children getting into trouble. Meanwhile, Olivia pretty much stopped dating, I do believe she fell in love with Elliot and knew he would never be hers so got wrapped up in her job. During season 8, Olivia was pretty moody. I call it the PMS season.

Then, after season 12, Christopher Meloni/Elliot Stabler departed from the show. Nick Amaro became her partner and Olivia started to finally grow. After 4 seasons, in the season finale when Nick announced his own departure, Olivia reassured Nick that he was a great partner to her. She grew while with Elliot, she was stuck. While there's some viewers that protested online, I think Olivia is right about that 100%! While with Nick, Olivia had two romantic relationships- even moving in with one, Brian Cassidy who was originally in season 1 where they had a very brief relationship. After breaking up with Brian, Olivia became involved with baby boy Doe after finding him in an illegal trafficking ring. With her biological clock ticking, she fell in love and eventually adopted Noah after many kinks (finding out who his biological parents were). Now, Olivia finally has a child and is  now in a relationship with Ed Tucker. She has a life outside of work! Yay! I am genuinely happy for Olivia.

But then, there's Olivia's work ethic. When Captain Cragen left for retirement, he put Olivia in charge. While Olivia is dedicated to the unit, I think she's too dedicated. I do not think she is fit to be the leader. Personally, I think Elliot would've been better but he is not on anymore. Even John Munch would've been a better fit. Not Olivia. Being on SVU has warped her mind. Fin Tutuola has been on almost as long as Olivia but still has a steady head. He knows what cases to pursue and what not, especially if he was told by the higher brass.
In a recent episode (Impostor), Olivia thought a man using a different name and identity to have sex with vulnerable and desperate women who were trying to get their child into college was rape. I disagree. Rape is sex that someone doesn't agree to but is forced- it is an act of power. In this episode, the "victims" were willing participants, the woman called him up, they were kissing and fell on bed. He asked her if she was sure and she said yes. Not rape. In fact, she thought it was best sex ever as she text him that. But some minutes later, she found out he wasn't who he said to be and text him that he raped her. When Olivia spoke to her about it, she did say she didn't mean the way it sounded. But Olivia was convinced it was rape. Fraud yes, rape? No. Even Fin and Amanda Rollins weren't too sure. At first, ADA Barbra wasn't too sure but pursued it anyway. Even the Judge and the Defense Attorney thought it was a waste of time. I agree with them! But Olivia is too blind and pushed it forward. Sure, the man was scum, but not a rapist. I guess for Olivia, one night stands that provide no names exchanged is also rape? In other episodes before, even in the Stabler era, Olivia has trouble of understanding the word 'no', especially from her bosses- Cragen and the higher brass. Whenever she's told to drop it, she doesn't. Usually, it opens a can of uncontrollable worms and compromises the main case or something. I get Olivia doesn't like to be told what to do, who does? But when there's more than one people who tell her No, she goes for it. Very determined, too much. It's getting tiring. Yet, if Amanda or Sonny Carisi gets over the top and pretty much do the same thing as Olivia has consistently done, they are bad cops and she wants nothing more than to fire them (especially Amanda) if SVU wasn't so short staffed. Pretty hypocrisy to me.

My Online Empire

Time to time, I like to do an updated itinerary of my online websites and social media.

Websites 
The Mexican Beauty: Olivia Harrison
The Beatles Children
Cyn & Mo
Enchanting Isabel Gillies

Yahoo Groups 
Beatles Lovers
The Beatles Children
Mary McCartney Photography
The Stabler Family
The Bond Girl: Barbara Bach

Blogs
Jeannette's This & That
In My Tastebuds
In My Write Mind
The Stablers

Tumblr
Jeannette's Place
Photographs by Mary McCartney

Instagram
Celebrity Every Day
Tribute to the Late Beatles' Wives

Beatles' Wives & Girls
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
YouTube
Children of the Beatles Facebook
Children of the Beatles Instagram

Top 10 Favorite Movies

Movies

1. Some Like It Hot

2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

3. Help!

4. A Time to Kill

5. 200 Cigarettes

6. Mrs. Doubtfire

7. A League of Their Own

8. Moonstruck

9. Dude, Where’s My Car?

10. City by the Sea

Cartoon Movies

1. Toy Story franchise

2. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

3. Ice Age franchise

4. Finding Nemo

5. Cinderella

6. Mary Poppins

7. Peter Pan

8. Beavis & Butthead Do America

9. Yellow Submarine

10. The Simpsons

Julian & The Stanley Sisters

I've been wanting to write this out for quite some time. Now that Julian Lennon's birthday just recently passed, I thought to get on with it.

Mary Elizabeth (Mimi)
Mimi raised Julian’s father John Lennon from the time he was five until he moved out officially at the age of 23, already married and a parent. Mimi’s relationship with Julian’s mother Cynthia Lennon was strained yet tolerable at best; they had good days and days where they wanted to strangle each other. They lived with Mimi after Cynthia had a threatening miscarriage risk so she wouldn’t be alone while John was on tour with The Beatles. While Cynthia was at the hospital giving birth to Julian, Mimi called the hospital for updates and informed John the news when he called to check in. She was also the only family member to go to the hospital to see the baby (before John did)- she was frosty with Cynthia but her face soften when she saw Julian. Mimi hosted a family gathering when Cynthia and Julian arrived home from the hospital by taxi. However, until John, Cynthia and Julian moved out, Mimi helped care for Julian once when Cynthia was exhausted and desperately needed rest. Other than that, Mimi would visit her sister Harret, who lived near by, to complain how Julian cried most of the time and criticized how Cynthia was coping with motherhood. In 1965, John bought Mimi a home in Bournemouth where she remained until her death in 1991. John, Cynthia and Julian visited her not long after she moved in. They went to the beach where residents left John alone. According to Cynthia, that was their only visit… However, with pictures from her sister in law Julia’s collection, it appeared that John, Cynthia and Julian visited again the following year (1966) but with other members of the family present. In 1967, John and Julian had a day out with Mimi on a ferry. Mimi also visited the Lennon family home in Surrey a couple of times; John named one of his cats Mimi after his Aunt. After John and Cynthia divorced, when Mimi saw Cynthia at Harrie’s funeral, she berated her for the divorce and not fighting for John hard enough. Before John’s death, Mimi had pictures of Julian all over her home but when she found out that John’s widow Yoko Ono inherited the ownership of her home, a terrified Mimi changed the pictures from Julian to Sean in case of a surprise visit or something like that. Other than that, not much is known about Mimi and Julian except that Mimi thought Julian should get a proper job rather than being a musician. But, to be fair, she thought the same way with John and hoped that Sean wouldn’t go into the music business (he did!). Mimi died in 1991 with Cynthia, Yoko and Sean attending the funeral.
"I think Julian ought to get a real job. I've heard him sing and it's not my cup of tea. Julian doesn't keep in touch, not that it worries me too much." -Mimi (1983)

“Oh, I think for about five minutes, yes. When we bought her the house down in Poole [in 1965], we went to visit and she was all over him then, but apart from that there was no contact. She wasn’t a doting surrogate grandmother or anything like that.” -Cynthia, 2005

Elizabeth (Mater)
Mater lived in Scotland where John spent his vacation time as a child. Cynthia got along beautifully with Mater, often taking a train up to visit when life in London got too much for her. Mater also visit the Lennon family in Surrey. After John divorced Cynthia and remarried to Yoko, they took Julian and Yoko’s daughter Kyoko on a spontaneous holiday to Scotland and visited Mater. During the visit in 1969, Mater wasn’t too thrilled with the new wife and didn’t hide her feelings, much to John’s dismay that he stormed out. The family got into a car accident and since Julian was least injured, he was discharged from the hospital into Mater’s care until Cynthia arrived. Mater died in 1976

Harrie, Julia and Nanny

Anne Georgina (Nanny)
Hmmm… I got nothing other than that there was a family relationship that is not much known. Nanny died in the 1980s

Julia
Julian’s grandmother and namesake. Julia died in 1958, just before John got involved with Cynthia. She was taken to Sefton General Hospital where she was pronounced dead- the same hospital where Julian was born.

Lucy Bayliss, Cynthia, Julian, Jacqui and Julia

Her daughters, Julia and Jacqui, are close to Julian. They helped Aunt Harrie cared for him when Cynthia traveled with John and visited them in Surrey. They barely have a relationship with their other nephew, Sean.
“I don’t know if Sean and Julian have a relationship. I think so, they talk well of each other, but I’m really an aunt to Julian.” -Julia, 2016

Harriet (Harrie)
Harrie was not only the baby of the Stanley sisters but also the baby sitter. After Julia’s death, Harrie became her daughters Julia and Jacqui’s guardian. Harrie lived in the same neighborhood as Mimi; Cynthia visited often and after Julian’s birth, Harrie babysat Julian whenever Cynthia went traveling with John until they moved down to London. Harrie died in 1972 with Cynthia attending the funeral.

Having On-line Friends

In the past 4 months, I have lost 3 online friends, Dee, Marie and Peggy. Two were from the Beatles and the other with soap operas (although, one of the Beatles fans was also a soap fan, but I associate her more with the Beatles). All three were rather expected with warning signs, yet after 'knowing' them for a number of years I will miss them.

Now, some people I know personally would scuff at the idea of being friends with someone I never met personally. In a way, I can understand the worry part- there could always be someone on the other side of the computer who is a complete opposite of what they say. It could be a serial killer or pedophile. I like to surf in message boards of things I like so I can talk to people, know their point of view and see things that make sense or answer a question.
With me, after talking to the same people over and over consistently, trust starts to build and find oneself to be opening up. A message board or a chat room starts to feel like a family-vibe, sending a lengthy personal message or email. You start following on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, MySpace, Facebook where you reveal more of who you are as a person. Mostly it's interest or hobbies. Then it will grow to sending Christmas cards and talking over the phone. And maybe a face to face meeting. You then realize that when out shopping, you will see something that would remind you of your online friend, maybe get it as a gift. Real friendships form.
When certain people I know personally complains that I am not social- yet I believe I am, just in this modern technology way. Different generation? Perhaps. Yet I have encountered many age groups. No matter what though, it's nice to know I have friends around the world. It is a good source of information to learn. Like an international recipe I would see on T.V. and would ask if it's indeed popular or if I am planning to be in their neck of the woods, where to go? It is also a great feeling to know that you aren't alone when dealing with a latest turmoil drama in life. I have also come to notice that my online friends like and reacted to my posts more than my own family members.

I think this article sums up my thoughts even more, sharing my point of view.

Goodbye Michael Q.

This is the only time I liked Michael Quatermaine, rather than Corinthos. Even when he was a child (being played by a different actor) I couldn't stand him. When Michael was shot in the head and was in a coma for a year, it was the best year ever! Then, his biological father A.J. came back and they reconnected, despite all the bad things his mother and stepfather Carly and Sonny Corinthos told him. Once Michael heard A.J.'s  side of the story and gave him a benefit of the doubt, I realized that I started to like Michael. It broke my heart and anger when Sonny shot and killed A. J. for 'killing' his fiancé Connie (Ava was the real killer- the look on Sonny's face was priceless) yet Sonny wasn't at all sorry regardless. I could go on and on how Sonny is a self-righteous bastard, the worst kind of human that loves power, money, women, possessiveness... The point is that once Michael became a Quatermaine and hated Sonny, all was perfect. But it all ended when Sonny got shot (and unfortunately survived) and Michael returned as Sonny's golden child. Such a shame and loss. Michael is back to being my non favorite character. It didn't even last a year!

End of a Love Story... or Not?

I have been a fan of the pairing of Dante Falconeri and Lulu Spencer from the beginning when they first encountered in 2009. Since then, I survived a recast, a few breakups, a custody battle with another couple, struggles and joys of parenthood, them verses the town of Port Charles, and now infidelity and divorce. It is heartbreaking. I will admit though, I applaud Lulu and especially Dante for lasting this long without any cheating after 6 years of being devoted to each other. Of course I was angry at Dante for giving in on having sex with his wife's newly discovered cousin. It was something that his mobster boss father Sonny Corinthos would've done. Sonny has slept with a mother-daughter duo (granted not knowing about it at the time but the moment he found out, let's just say it was a Kodak moment), had babies with them (one of the babies was a stillborn), was in a relationship with his best friend and enforcer's sister, had sex and conceived a baby with an enemy (who was his son's girlfriend) on top of his other enemy and biological father of his son's grave, was in a rebound relationship with cousins... you can say that Sonny sure got around. Dante, on the other hand, didn't know that Sonny was his father until he became an adult and worked undercover in his organization- Sonny went as far as shooting him for being an undercover cop just before the father-son connection! Oy, it is a soap opera after all and infidelity is one of the rules of a good soap opera. Dante lasted a good 6 years of being a faithful boyfriend, later husband who only had eyes for Lulu. A true romantic. Unfortunately, it was a matter of time. About two years ago, Dante got jealous of his wife getting into business with her ex boyfriend who happened to have his own mob connections. Then things came to head when Dante believed Lulu was cheating on him with another old flame of hers when they went off together to save her brother(s). Lulu lied to him of her actual whereabouts on the insistence of her parents (Luke and Laura). Dante tracked her down, saw a messy hotel room where he got the wrong idea, and with a little push by her cousin Valerie, hopped into his own marital bed with her. Ouch... Well, eventually Dante found out that his wife did not cheat on him after all yet he did on impulse and realized "oh crap, what have I done!?" mistake. He tried to cover it up, lied to his wife until it blew up in his face: Lulu was devastated and left him. I don't blame her. After another round of miss-signals and sleep with the cousin again with revenge to get rid of Valerie (not death, more of leaving town) in hopes of reconciliation. Recently, there was an attempt but... well... the night sadly ended with Dante and Lulu signing the divorce papers.

I honestly believe that somewhere down the line that there would be a reunion. It happened before and it can happen again. Dante and Lulu were not just your ordinary lovers, they were also a team.