Saturday, December 28, 2013

My Online "Empire"

-dedicated to George Harrison's widow and Dhani Harrison's mother. It's the first website I created
-a fun little site exploring the friendship of John Lennon and Ringo Starr's ex wives Cynthia Lennon Charles and Maureen Starkey Tigrett
-Actress (from the movie Metropolitan and a recurring role on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit) and Author (Happens Every Day, A Year and Six Seconds and Starry Night)

Yahoo Groups
-dedicated to Julian Lennon, Zak Starkey, Jason Starkey, Mary McCartney, Lee Starkey, Stella McCartney, Sean Lennon, James McCartney, Dhani Harrison and Beatrice McCartney
-dedicated not only to The Beatles but to their families, their friends, the people who loved them. It's my first Yahoo Group I created
-dedicated to one of the James Bond's leading ladies and the wife of Ringo Starr. I made this group because the other one that's around is full of spam of porn and get rich quick schemes
-a showcase of Mary's photography work, including her food recipes and other side projects 
-to go along with my website to announce updates and other news, photos related to the website
-created before I started both Enchanting Isabel Gillies and The Stabler's Blog; a place for Elliot and Kathy Stabler fans from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to the first wife of John Lennon and the mother of Julian Lennon with photos and articles
-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to Pattie Boyd, the first wife of George Harrison and Eric Clapton, covering the years of birth until the early 1970s
-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to the first wife of George Harrison and Eric Clapton, covering the years from the early 1970s to present day
-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to the fashion and career of model and photographer Pattie Boyd
-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to Ringo Starr's daughter
-I'm one of the moderators; dedicated to Queen

-photographs of actors and musicians who entertain me as well as admiring and amusing. It's my first blog
-I love to cook and experiment
-you are here now- I like to write. I write everything here from opinions, to facts, to my personal poems, etc. on paper and pen...well keyboard and typing. 
-a fun blog of the characters from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; created to help defend one of my favorite TV couples from other viewers who either look down upon or doesn't know anything and are willing to learn more about them. 

The Beatles' Wives & Girls
-dedicated to Cynthia Lennon, Maureen Starkey, Pattie Boyd, Linda McCartney, Yoko Ono, Olivia Harrison, Barbara Bach, Heather Mills, Nancy Shevell as well as Jane Asher, Dorothy Rhone, Astrid Kirchherr, May Pang, Nancy Andrews and many other women who loved the Beatles and the Beatles loved them. Run by Jeannette (that's me), Heloisa, Vio, Sentimentalist, and Lynn
Twitter -The Beatles' Women
YouTube -Women of the Beatles
Instagram -The Beatles' Women/The Beatles' Wives & Girls

The Original Blonde Bombshell

Before there was Madonna
Before there was Anna Nicole Smith
Before there was Jayne Mansfield
Before there was Marilyn Monroe
There was Jean Harlow. To me, she's the original blonde. She was the first American screen actress to appear on the cover of LIFE magazine. Jean only lived for 26 years before dying of kidney failure. Jean also had quite a stage mother herself, who was overly possessive and used Jean as the breadwinner of the family. Jean (or Harlean, as that was her real name) was called The Baby and actually thought that that was her name until she went to school and learned that Harlean was her actual name! Jean's parents divorced and her mother kept Jean away from her father- who she loved and tried to reach out to him but her mother tried to keep them separately. Jean married young (at 16) to her first husband, possibly trying to escape from her overbearing mother and to gain independence but that didn't last long. I truly believe that Jean wanted to settle down to be a wife and mother but her mother and Hollywood came knocking and took her away for a ride. Plus, I've heard her first husband was quite a drinker, so that didn't help at all. From my understanding, Jean did get pregnant but was forced to have an abortion. After her divorce, Jean's career took off. Jean remarried again to Paul Bern but the marriage was short after he committed suicide. I've heard the rumors that he may have been gay, impotent, sex problems, his first marriage coming to haunt him, what have you. Paul was also old enough to be her father but I honestly don't think that was the BIG problem. His suicide was questionable and was believed that he could've been murdered but I don't think that will ever be solved. Jean was devastated by his death, hysterical enough to be sedated. Jean remarried for a third time but that marriage lasted less than a year. She then moved on to William Powell, it's been said that they were each other's love of their lives. From what I know of the couple, William was good friends with his ex-wife Carole Lombard (who I love) who was then dating/married to Clark Gable- who Jean worked with before...then again who hadn't worked with Clark Gable in those days? Or had an affair with Clark? They used to have some double dates and gatherings. Sadly, after two years together, Jean fell ill and died. She came down with uremic poisoning (resulted from the scarlet fever she had in her childhood) and kidney failure while filming a movie and died at the hospital. These were the days before dialysis and treatments, transplants. I bet if she had been alive together, Jean would've been saved and would've lived a lot longer than her 26 years. However, the poor girl seemed to have one illness after another without any lucky break that her immune system was weakened. The film (Saratoga) was not completed by the time she died so they made due with long shots of using her double and different kinds of angle shots. Her mother had William pay for everything of the funeral.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Queen Will Always Rock Me

 As far as I can remember, Queen was always a part of my life. I grew up with Queen- they got really hot in the 1980s (Freddie Mercury in his mustache) after being together since 1971. There was Live Aid, the Wembley Stadium in 1986 before they quietly quit touring after when Freddie discovered he had AIDs and was dead in 5 years. I remember seeing their music videos on MTV- when the channel was all about music before it became a reality network and Brian May doing some introductions and little stories here and there behind the hits. I think I have those still on VHS tapes. Freddie with his powerful operatic voice that could range from opera to head-banging rock. John Deacon with this heart-beating bass, Roger Taylor and his drums and Brian with his lead guitar- they were such a great band. Yes they fought but only because they had a vision and knew what they wanted and in the end the main songwriter would win. They were also creative and open-minded- Freddie loved Brian's guitar at the end of Bohemian Rhapsody while Brian thought it should've just been the piano but, as I just wrote not that long ago, the songwriter (Freddie) would win at the end. They were also encouraging with one another- Freddie, Brian and Roger convinced John to submit any songs so that he would have a financial pillow cushion rather than his bass playing so he could live comfortably many years to come without going broke. They had management and financial issues in the 1970s from being screwed and banded together- John was their money man who managed to sort out their earnings.
After Freddie died and John retired, Brian and Roger continued on with Queen. First they enlisted Paul Rogers from Bad Company. I wasn't too thrilled with that one. Don't get me wrong- I do like Paul Rogers- he has a great singing voice but it wasn't fit for Queen's music. Maybe for the hard rockers like Liar and Tie Your Mother Down but not for Killer Queen. I honestly thought just end Queen and form another band in another name if Brian and Roger wanted to play in a band. Then came Adam Lambert. Now I'll admit that I haven't watched American Idol after quitting mid-way into season 2 as I lost interest but once I heard about Queen being a guest to play on American Idol with Adam, I thought "Now we are talking!" I do think Adam is a much better suited singer for Queen. He has that Freddie vibe about him- they are both showmen, powerful singers, and yes, both are gay. Adam can get away with singing Killer Queen or Bohemian Rhapsody. I approve of this replacement. Thankfully, Roger and Brian did realize that Paul wasn't fitting into their mold as I already realized before.
 Freddie...the picture above is my kind of Freddie. Man he was hot in the 1970s. Yes, I know, gay. And dead. But do I care? No. He's fascinating to me. He's also a cat lover like me. His birthday is in September, like me (except different days and different horoscope). Freddie has a voice like no other. As I mentioned before, Freddie had a huge range of his voice to be able to go anywhere from rock to opera; if he was alive today I wouldn't have any doubt that he would be involved in more genres- like Country, Hip-Hop/Rap. Freddie died in 1991 from complications of AIDs. I remember very clearly of hearing the news that Freddie was dead. I was 10 years old. I had just gotten home from seeing a magic show (David Copperfield) with my grandmother. Mom was home watching TV and there was Freddie, showing a clip from Bohemian Rhapsody's music video with those two year-dates of his birth and death. When I went to bed, I cried my eyes out. Next thing I know, AIDs was everywhere- in ads, news, being discussed in school. It was a heavy topic. He had released the news of him having AIDs after being hounded by the press and rumors and the following day, Freddie was gone. I honestly don't remember the announcement- I could've been just too young to understand what was going on until after his death and the AIDs awareness spread like wildfires. Freddie's death was the first death that really affected me to remember- like "Where were you when JFK or John Lennon died?". Well I take that back- Lucille Ball's death had an impact on me but the memory is sketchy- I was still a little girl and I do recall hearing about it but I don't know where I was, who I was with, how I heard the news nothing like how I heard about Freddie's death. Perhaps it was because Lucille was in her 80s and had heart surgery, dying of a heart attack so it wasn't as shocking. I suppose I can say that although Lucille's death was my first celebrity death, Freddie's death had the most impact.
I remember back in the mid-2000s, my grandmother, Mom and I were on a road trip and we had music in the car- Bohemian Rhapsody came on during our CD circulation/rotation. The first time it came on, Grandma got a good kick out of with the opera bit. The second time it came on, this time around Grandma listened to the lyrics and had a freak out. The song was talking about killing a man and she wasn't thrilled, realizing that ever since I was a child I was crazy about them and hearing about this. She gave my mother a hard time about it "How could you let her listen to this????"...Wait a minute! First of all, the song came out in 1975 while my mother was a teenager and at the time, Grandma didn't say anything. Second of all, my Mom pointed out to her that there's other classic songs that talked about murder- Mack the Knife by Bobby Darin was an example. Grandma eventually got quiet and Mom and I quietly took Bohemian Rhapsody out of it's rotation of playing. I am wondering what Grandma was really afraid of- was she scared that I would turn into a murderer? I'm sure Grandma gave Freddie a third degree interrogation after when she died some time later.
After Freddie's death, John went on to perform with Roger and Brian to work on Made in Heaven with the remaining tracks Freddie left behind to release and three live performances before retiring. John was always the shy one- Freddie was shy too but once he got on the stage, his showman persona came out and he was fearless of anything. John kept quiet- he did perform, letting Brian, Roger and Freddie have the spotlight of their performances. It's been said that John suffered depression after Freddie's death. I think of all the members of Queen, John took Freddie's death the hardest. I suppose that to him, his musician days were over the moment Freddie died with very few exceptions. Although, according to both Roger and Brian, John wrote them a letter saying that he approves of whatever they do with Queen (he does get his fair share of percentage of the pie). He was last seen at Queen's Broadway production of We Will Rock You premiere, Roger thought he was there to see what his investment was all about. Other than that, there's ideas that John was playing golf and enjoying retirement. I'm sure he is and I hope he is too. John was (and still is) a very talented bass man. I do miss his presence in Queen whenever I see Roger and Brian perform.
I have this picture as a poster, hanging in my bedroom

My Favorite Songs of Queen (in no particular order other than what's coming to my mind)
Bohemian Rhapsody
Killer Queen
You're My Best Friend
Now I'm Here
Tie Your Mother Down
One Vision
The Miracle
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Invisible Man
Another One Bites the Dust
Seven Seas of Rhye
Millionaire Waltz
Keep Yourself Alive
It's a Kind of Magic
Stone Cold Crazy
Death on Two Legs
We Will Rock You (both fast and classic versions)
Sheer Heart Attack
Under Pressure
Bicycle Race
Fat Bottom Girls
I'm Going Slightly Mad
Princes of the Universe
I Want It All

I would put down These Are the Days of Our Lives but decided not to- it makes me cry. I love I Want to Break Free's music video where Queen dressed as women but the song is a take it or leave it. I must have been one of the very few people in America who thought that the music video was funny while the rest weren't too thrilled. 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Saga of Bonnie & Clyde

Clyde Chestnut Barrow was a troubled man
that only a few could understand
His family was very poor
but everyone had his or her own chore

Bonnie Elizabeth Parker was only a girl
who wanted to see the world
She thought that she had found her knight
but he kept going out of sight

Bonnie's husband went to jail
with no one to give him bail
By then Bonnie met her true love
who she could only think of

Bonnie and Clyde met through a friend
aware of the vibe messages that they sent
Bonnie and Clyde were soul mates
who carried the same fates

Clyde was a working man
doing the best that he can
being free from jail
making robbery plans without fail

Believing that they were right
they were willing to fight
Living together during the Depression
Bonnie and Clyde entered the beginning of their destruction

With Ray Hamilton, the Barrow Gang committed several crimes
trying to go through the hard times
Running away from the law
with weapons and a punch to a jaw

The Barrow Gang left without Ray
to the police, he had nothing to say
Inviting W.D. Jones along
barely going to Dallas, where they belong

Trying to go for a fun ride
looking for a place to hide
Joined by Buck and Blanche Barrow
nobody was feeling sorrow

Breaking the rules that they were supposed to follow
they had their days, high and low
Inseparable was the love between Bonnie and Clyde
they were being joined by others to enjoy the ride

One day, Bonnie caught on fire
is this the life that she desire?
Missing their families, they stayed in touch
telling them that they loved them very much

Not very long, Buck was dead
after being shot in the head
Blanche surrender
she became a prisoner

W.D. quit the dangerous game
changing his story to put Bonnie and Clyde on blame
saying that he was kidnapped and held hostage
secretly knowing that his lie was full of garbage

Clyde's younger brother, L.C., joined the wary pair
trying to divide the money fair
Robbing banks and gas stations
finding themselves in several difficult situations

Setting some Clyde's old jail buddies free
a mistake that was never meant to be
An old friend of Clyde's had his own plan
giving the police a hand

Betraying Bonnie and Clyde, his dear old friends
sending the lovers to their end
They died together, like they planned
only to each other, they understand

But Mrs. Parker didn't want them buried together
hoping that things will get better
The love between them was so strong
They will always be together, their bond was strong

Originally written in 2000
Dedicated to Bonnie and Clyde
In my teenage years (and even to this day) I had a fascination interest in these two love-struck crime pair. I don't remember exactly how I got interested in them or how they entered my life- probably saw a documentary and got hooked and started to research as it usually happens when I get interested in something or someone. I've seen the 1960s movie with Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty as well as two TV mini-series/movies, the most recent aired earlier this week (December 2013) on Lifetime/A&E/History channels. 

Come Back, My Guardian Angel

Every time I think of you
memories haunt me
the dreams felt so true

My eyes shed it's own tears
listen to my cry
with your ears
tears drain into my eyes

A night bird sings
spreading it's wing

Being in love enough to inspire
very deeply to admire

It seems that I never let go
my heart never felt so low
I want to let you go

My Guardian Angel, whom I believe
a special bond that has been conceived
the memories will never leave
all the thoughts that I grieve

The angel is stuck in my heart
not knowing when to leave

Come back alive, to me
so I could see
for the beautiful image that I remember
keeping memories alive, not to fade

I will always think about you
my love will always come true

You didn't deserve to die
of all the time that goes by

I know that you will always be by my side
to have all my troubles go down slide
But, I want you back to be with me
this isn't what it was meant to be
for me to lose you

Originally written in 1998; revised in 2002
In Memory of David Alvarez

Friday, September 20, 2013

John & Julian Lennon

"John used to play with Julian on his skateboard. When skateboards first came out in the 60s, they were quite small. Basically, it was just a board with roller skates. They used to play outside on the slope leading up to the house."

"Once while Cynthia was away with Mrs. Powell, I was staying in the house with Julian. I had put Julian to bed, but he was having an earache and was very upset. I put him to bed, but he was in so much pain, I sat up with him that night. When John came in quite late, he came along to Julian's room to see what was wrong. The light was on and I explained about the earache. John said, 'You got to bed, Dot, I'll stay up with him'. He was always concerned, like a good father. He was a good man." 
-Dorothy Jarlett
"Little two-year-old Julian came to the door to greet the new visitors. Uncle George scooped the toddler up in his arms to say hello. As I aimed my camera to capture the moment, John began smoothing down Julian's hair. I loved seeing John, the long-haired idol of millions, fussing over his son,s hair like any other doting parent. This was a side of him I had not yet seen."
-Photographer Henry Grossman
"Lennon seemed to have a very traditional love for Cynthia and would call nightly to check in and talk, in baby talk, to his son Julian. It was exciting to watch. Here was a Beatle, the idol of millions, savoring a few minutes on the phone with his wife"
-Broadcaster Art Schreiber

"Well, I just want him to grow up happy. That's the main thing."
-John Lennon (1964)

"Just love, that's the main thing you know. He's just going to be happy and know he's wanted. I'm not having any of that boarding school or sending him away. He's going to be with us all the time"
-John Lennon (1965)

"It's not the best relationship between father and son, but it is there...Julian and I will have a relationship in the future"
-John Lennon (1980)

"He doesn't owe me anything. I'll make life as easy for him as I can but it's no use me thinking what I would do if I was him, because I'm not him and he isn't Little Me"
-John Lennon (circa 1960s)

Friday, September 6, 2013

So Long "Futurama"

This week was Futurama's final episode that aired on Comedy Central. And I'm not thrilled! I love Futurama, it's one of the cartoons that I can watch the same episode over and over again without getting sick of it. I was thrilled when Comedy Central picked up Futurama from the dead after a few years when Fox cancelled the show (Fox is famous for cancelling great, and bad, shows) and then earlier this year the channel broke my heart. I do hope that in the future (haha punny!) Futurama will at least have some specials or even come back! Preferable come back...
So, in honor of Futurama's last day on air with a new episode, I wanted to to do something for the cartoon.
-It was created by Matt Groening, who created The Simpsons
-Billy West was on Ren & Stimpy and is the Red M&M for M&Ms; he's been in numerous cartoons
-Katey Segal was from Married with Children and currently on Sons of Anarchy. I remember her appearing on the Emmy Awards (the technical kind that is a few days before from the very popular Primetime Emmys) saying that it's great to play a cartoon because her character's weight never changes- always skinny! I thought that was funny.
-John DiMaggio is on Penguins of Madagascar as Rico who I happened to name my cat after. He voiced Bender, one of my favorite characters on the show.
-Lauren Tom was on Friends as one of Ross Gellar's girlfriends as well as being one of the voices on my other beloved cartoon King of the Hill 

I do love the friendship between Fry the human and Bender the robot. It would seem that Bender treated Fry badly but at the end of the day, Bender would feel remorse and sorry for hurting his best friend. Yet whenever Fry got into trouble or needed help, Bender is always quick to help his buddy. They became roommates in the second episode and it was there that Bender told Fry that of all the friends Bender has had, Fry was the first friend. Bender's dream goal was to kill all humans and at one time admitted that he would quietly said to himself "Except for Fry" and I do believe that- Bender would spare Fry's life.

There's also the relationship between Fry and Leela. From the first day he saw her, Fry was in love. Leela was a mutant (the mutant community lived in the sewer) with one eye and yet Fry doesn't care. There were moments when bad things happened to Leela- like growing tentacles or was thought dead and at one point was thought dead so Fry had her into a robot so he can be with her, he didn't care. Fry loved and wanted Leela. At first Leela didn't want him: Fry was an idiot, pretty dumb and naive, lazy, messy, so she wasn't interested in him. Sure they both had some other relationships before eventually Leela realized Fry was genuine and they started to date.

Another couple I do love is Amy and Kif. Kif is a pretty funny squishy alien who was a suffering assistant to an A-hole commander Brannigan who was a selfish pretty-boy who had eyes for Leela (even slept with her once) and she can not stand him.

I love that Beatrice Arthur got to voice on Futurama as a robot-wall who did not like men and didn't want them on her planet until Bender discovered she was an actual robot.

I love how Amy would insult Leela and Leela would glare at her

I did enjoy the final episode, but I thought the scenes where Fry was falling off the building and kept looping it was too much.

Best Quotes:
*note: the quotes that are in color were from the same episode and a conversation piece.
This may be updated again once I remember other great and funny stuff

"Bite my shiny metal ass!" -Bender

"You know, Fry, out of all the friends I've ever had... you're the first." -Bender

"Bender, we didn't mind your drinking, or your kleptomania, or your pornography ring." -Leela
"You have all been very naughty! Very naughty indeed! Except you, Dr. Zoidberg. This is for you." -Evil Santa Claus Robot
"They're like sex, except I'm having it!" -Fry

"Blackmail is such an ugly word; I prefer "extortion". The "X" makes it sound cool" -Bender

"You jerk. I thought I was your best friend. What kind of two-timing kill-mobile are you?" -Fry (to Bender)

Fry: I can't believe this! Bender is supposed to murder his closest friend, which I thought was me. But he went straight for you. He didn't even try to second-degree murder me.
Leela: Could you give me some help? I think Bender crushed my foot.
Fry: Stop rubbing it in!

Bender: Oh, God! Fry, I'm so glad to see you. I didn't hurt you, did I?
Fry: Not physically. But why don't you ask your new best friend, Leela?
Bender: I tried to run you over?
Leela: It was very sweet of you, Bender.

"You win again, gravity!" -Zapp Brannigan

Zapp: Well, well. This looks to be one disturbingly erotic date.
Leela: Half-date.
Zapp: Waiter, bring us a bottle of wine.
Leela: Half-bottle.
Zapp: And some oysters on the half-shell.
Leela: Quarter-shell.

Amy: This women-only planet is sounding better and better.
Leela: I'm already looking for apartments.

"No fair! Leela was training me to be captain. She even let me sit in her lap and steer... in this comic I drew." -Fry
"Kids have names?" -Bender

"Leela must have impregnated me when she grabbed my ungloved hand. That explains the poster in hygiene class: "No Glove, No Love".-Kif

"Yeah yeah, we don't care how squishy alien get pregnant. All we care is we have grandchild now." -Mrs. Wong

"Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain." -Professor Farnsworth

"My life isn't as glamorous as my web page made it seem." -Leela

"But I like being old! No one asks me to move stuff, I don't have to talk to my parents, and I don't need to understand today's hip, edgy sitcoms." -Professor Farnsworth

"All those times I said "Kill all humans," I'd always whisper "except one". Fry was that one. And I never told him so!" -Bender

"I can't watch this 'cause it's creepy and wrong and sick. However I will watch out of curiosity." -Fry

"I tell you they're not evil. But don't be confused. They are jerks." -Leela

"Oh this is awful. Somewhere there's a Bender more evil than me. I do my best dammit!" -Bender 2

"And I love Leela. Any Leela" -Fry (2- who later turned out to be a robot)

"I hate being a man. I smell bad, my face is scratchy, and the food at those strip clubs is terrible." -Leela

"We were planning on enjoying a relaxing vacation. But since you're here, we'll have to do some meddling." -Mr. Wong

Kif: The point is, it's just so humiliating working for that man. Once, he actually ordered me to... shave his armpits while he was in the bathtub. So, I said-
Leela: Y'know, why don't we talk about something besides Zapp for a while?
Kif: Oh, alright. Um... well... how 'bout then, um... OK, well, there he was in the tub, right?

Friday, August 23, 2013

I Like to Watch Cartoons

She-Ra: Princess of Power
Looney Tunes
The Beatles
The Flintstones
The Jetsons
Scooby-Doo (the classic versions)
He-Man (the 80s version)
Thundercats (the 80s version)
Winnie the Pooh
George of the Jungle
Rocky and Bullwinkle
Tom & Jerry
Beavis & Butthead
The Simpsons
The Animaniacs
Pinky & The Brain
The Powerpuff Girls
Ren & Stimpy
Batman Beyond
South Park
King of the Hill
Home Movies
Family Guy
American Dad
Spongebob Squarepants
The Fairy Oddparents
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Bob's Burgers
Penguins of Madagascar

The Backstreet Boys Concert

The crowd of fans are yelling and screaming
some of them could feel that they are dreaming
The Backstreet Boys are backstage, getting ready and praying from the Bible
They could hear the fans screaming for their favorite idol

They are now all set and ready
standing on their fly-boards very steady
Laser lights are flashing all over the audience and the stage
fans jump up and down, forgetting their name and age

While flying to the stage, they look down at the audience from above
fans scream for the ones that they love
Standing on the stage, observing the audience around
girls, of all ages, are jumping up and down

They start to sing "Larger than Life"
Oh, how the young girls want to be the lucky Backstreet Wife!
Nick sings like an angel that's going through his voice
the fans waves and are going crazy by their favorite choice

A.J. always taking off his shirt, looking like a rebel bad boy
Fans are throwing all kinds of toy
Kevin plays his white grand piano so beautiful
They are all so wonderful

Brian is smiling like a good luck charm
no one was causing any harm
Howie adds the high key voice so sweet
their harmonies are the perfect fit to the music beat

It was getting near the end
but, some are feeling that it just begin
Finally, they are singing "I Want it That Way", the last of the collection of songs
happy to know that they are close to home, where the true heart really belongs

Originally written in 1999
Dedicated to the Backstreet Boys concert that I went to in December of 1999. And yes, I was one of those screaming girls...I suffered the consequences afterwards as I couldn't talk for 2 days! I decided to put up this poem to honor their 20th anniversary of being together this year. 
Nick Carter was my Backstreet Boy

Together They Were Forever

She was smooth as gold
He was rough as diamond
Together they were forever
A love that blossomed when they were young
They held hands through tough times
loyal and passionate
He was her bad boy
She was his sweet girl
Together they were forever
A smile that brought out the love
the look that brought out the truth
He was a star in the world
She was filled with faith and hope
Together they were forever
They were inseparable in the beginning
filled with love and understanding
care and devotion
fighting for privacy and wanting haven
Together they were forever
Sadly the bond was broken
failure and regrets
lost in the madness

Dedicated to John and Cynthia Lennon
Originally written in 2002

The Flower of Love

A love is like a flower
plant a seed in the soil
watch it grow
watch it blossom
fill with admire

The stem stands up, holding all together
the leaves spread to show their beauty
the petals blooming their colors
full of nature life
be in awe

Within time
the petals wrinkle
then wilt
before flying away in the wind
letting go to the unknown

Like death do love part
deep down the love lingers
down to the root
that keeps the spirit alive
holding together

Nourish with sun and water
to grow again
a new love is born
a new piece of life
for a new generation

Originally written in 2004

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Heather Mills

It seems like if you are a Beatles fan, you have to hate Heather Mills. She is Paul McCartney's second wife and the mother of Beatrice; they divorced after 4-6 years of marriage (together for 4, separated for 2). From the start of their relationship, Heather was quickly labeled as a gold-digger and the age difference- by the time Heather was born, Paul was already an adult, famous, engaged to Jane Asher, and about to record the Beatles' White Album. On another hand, it was pretty divided about the fans' and media's feelings of Heather: you would either love her or hate her. Now, since their divorce, it's been majority of hate and if you do find someone who actually likes her then you may as well have found an Unicorn! Actually you may as well have because this Beatles fan actually doesn't hate Heather. I honestly don't mind her. I don't exactly love her but I don't hate her. I don't wish her death or ill or anything horrible happen to her. The same majority of fans would much prefer to believe that the marriage was a mistake and would rather forget that the marriage even existed. I suppose they also like to think that Beatrice is a motherless child who Paul is only partly raising.
Heather was also branded as a liar so what I'm going to do is use the stories that she's told in a repetitive matter (how she kept it the same over and over without changing anything- it's hard to lie when you keep telling the same story) and the people- especially Paul- who agree to the facts.
Marriage being a Mistake
It was in 1999 when Paul first met Heather at an awards show; Heather was there to present an award to a handicap woman without hands or legs while Paul was there to present a Linda McCartney award to some animal lover. Paul saw her, leaned in to a friend (Piers Morgan, who claims to have hooked them up and later regret it; however I don't think he necessary hooked them up as he claimed as even Heather said so. I've heard that Richard Branson had more of a hand into the hooking up than Piers did...well no matter the story, the point is this:) Paul had his eyes on Heather. He had recently became a widower almost a year after Linda, his beloved wife of 29 years, had died of breast cancer.
You could say that he was vulnerable. It's also mostly believed that Heather took advantage of that. I don't really believe that and here's why: both Paul and Heather have said that it was Paul who chased after Heather. Not the other way around. Also, as some people tend to forget, Paul is a type of man that needs a woman at his side 90% of the time. You can judge by his own track record
Let's start in 1959 as that's when Paul started having serious relationships:
Dot Rhone- 1959-1962*
Iris Caldwell- 1962-1963*
Jane Asher- 1963-1968*
Francie Schwartz- 1968
Linda Eastman McCartney- 1968-1998
Heather Mills McCartney- 1999-2006
Nancy Shevell McCartney- 2007- present
*Paul cheated on these women; Jane caught him in bed with Francie Schwartz that led to their breakup.
The longest loneliness gap that Paul has ever had as a single man was between Linda's death and meeting Heather. Between Heather and Nancy, Paul did date- I remember Sabrina Guiness (although I don't think it was very serious, more of casual dating). So from knowing that, Paul may be vulnerable, in grief, but I also strongly believed that he knew exactly what he was doing.
I was 16 when Linda died and in my teen-over-dramatic mind, I had terrifying visions of Paul morphing himself as a recluse who'll watch the wallpaper peel and the spiders taking over the household to even committing suicide as he couldn't live without the love of his life. Linda was at Paul's side 24/7 for their 30 years together with the exception of 11 days apart and they practically did everything together. So when Paul started to see Heather, I was happy for him. To this day, I believe that Heather helped Paul out of his grief to be able to live again. Although Paul has never stopped recording, he did stop touring in 1993 and not long after that Linda discovered the lump in her breast. It wasn't until 2002 that Paul started to tour again. He loves to tour! Honestly I think he'll be touring up until the day he dies. I think Heather helped boost Paul's energy and do other things. She opened his eyes to minefields while he opened her eyes to animal rights and cruelty which to this day Heather has been campaigning. How can I hate Heather for helping Paul out with his grief? Even Paul himself had said that...
Another thing to point out is that Heather does resemble Linda in some ways. Blonde hair, blue eyes, outspoken on their charities- I can see why Paul fell for Heather. Funny enough, their daughter Beatrice looks a lot like Stella (Paul and Linda's daughter)! And what's even funnier is that Stella was not at all a Heather fan. But more about that later...
I do believe that Paul genuinely fell in love with Heather as her own self. He went out of his way to help her with her charities and share his spot light with her ( many will say HOG the spotlight). I also believe that he did wanted the marriage to work.
In retrospect, yes I do think it was a mistake. Paul should've taken more time to grieve for Linda and not dive into a relationship a year after her death. I think the average is 4 years but to each your own and knowing Paul's record, I can't say I was surprised that he had a girlfriend a year later. I do think that Paul and Heather did have their happy times and yes, I do believe that Heather did love Paul as himself (I'm sure a lot will disagree with me but this is my opinion), I have seen pictures where they look like they are in love and happy with each other.
Paul was asked if he considered his failed marriage as a mistake:
"OK, yeah, I suppose that has to be the prime contender. But I don't wanna down anyone. These things happen, y'know? But I tend to look at the positive side, which is that I have another beautiful daughter out of it." -2009
I believe Paul is trying to look at his marriage to Heather as not a mistake as if he hadn't married her, then he wouldn't have had his little girl.
 Heather with Paul, his daughter Mary and grandson Arthur
Heather with Paul and Stella
The Big Kids vs. Heather
It's pretty common for the children from the first marriage that happened to be a love story wouldn't be too pleased about their father falling in love with another woman not long after their mother died. The children- Heather, Mary, Stella and James- were deeply grieving over the loss. I do know that Linda's death had hit them hard, even to this very day. 
Heather- it's hard to say on how she really felt about her stepmother who happened to have the same name. Heather started to shun the public eye, especially after her biological father Mel See committed suicide after less than a year after her mother died. Even to this day, Heather hasn't been seen in the public except for one time just a few years ago at the time of this writing. Some insiders have claimed that Heather didn't like Heather Mills at all. Meanwhile Heather Mills claimed that while she was with Paul, Heather called her an angel and they spoke everyday. While Paul and Heather were in the divorce court, it was said that for a while Paul and Heather were estranged and that Heather Mills helped repair their relationship. I think I will believe the court on this one over the insiders because in court, it's under oath- you can't lie. As far as I know, Heather Mills never spoke a mean word about her former stepdaughter, rather I have found the opposite and see a fondness that Heather Mills had for Heather. I also remember when Heather Mills was pregnant with Beatrice and appeared on Larry King Live and he mistakenly said that Paul was going to have 4 children and Heather quickly corrected Larry that Paul will have 5. So my take is that Heather did like her stepmother (of course I could be wrong but due to the lack of evidence, that's my conclusion until further notice). As for now? I don't know. 
Mary- I think Mary was uncomfortable but tried to give the effort to accept Heather as her stepmother. I'm sure it wasn't easy but at the time what choice did she really have?
"I did not want Dad to be alone. I didn't want him to be a widower. After all, at the end of the day, everyone wants everybody to be happy." -2004
Now, I don't know if Mary went to the wedding. At first it was reported that she did go but left early, then it was reported during Paul and Heather's divorce that Mary did not go to the wedding so with these conflicting reports it's hard to say for sure. However please realize that when Paul and Heather got married in June of 2002, Mary was heavily pregnant with her second child at the time so if she didn't go to the wedding or left early it could have been a greater chance that it could've been about her pregnancy. It's funny and strange that the media or the fans don't think about that. When Heather was pregnant with Beatrice the following year, it was said that the children weren't pleased with the news but Mary seemed to be the opposite
"I'm really pleased about it. It's great news and I'm looking forward to seeing the baby" -2003 just before Beatrice was born
After Paul and Heather separated, Mary, Stella and James especially stepped up and supported their father. Mary, especially, bonded with her father as they now had failed marriages in common.
"Me and Dad have a proper grown-up relationship now. I feel I was a kid for so long, but now we have both been through a lot. We're both divorc├ęs, for a start" -2008
It's not surprising that Paul and Heather's divorce was big news and Mary was asked about that. It appears that Mary had taken the high road.
"I knew her because they were married. But that's not really my relationship so I try to keep away from that in interviews and things. It is not my relationship. I knew her. You know, they were married and they have a lovely...I have a lovely little sister." -2010
Stella- Let's just safely say that of all kids, I'll say that if there's a leader of anti-Heather it would've been Stella. I'm sure Stella did give her effort to accept Heather as her stepmother, especially after she got married just before Beatrice was born. I recall that Stella cut her honeymoon short to come home after getting the news that Beatrice was born. Heather did attend a couple of Stella's fashion shows and they were together during the Concert for New York City in 2001 after the terrorist attacks of September 11th. During the divorce proceedings, all bets were off. Heather did come after Stella for wanting the family jewels and things like that so there's certainly no love between the two. 
James- This year he revealed that he didn't like Heather while she was with his dad. He was grieving over the loss of his mother, was suffering from depression and did his share of drugs. I don't think seeing his dad falling quickly in love and moving on with his life not long after didn't help- and I don't necessary think it's was completely Heather's fault 100% as James had his own issues to deal with. As for Heather, she hasn't said anything about James. As for now, James did admit that he does respect Heather as Beatrice's mother and seemed to be at peace, especially now that Paul is happily married and settled down with Nancy.
"My relationship with Heather was not very good. I didn’t like her. But I wouldn’t want to say anything negative about her because she’s a good mother to Beatrice and that’s the most important thing. Beatrice is adorable. She’s great, a real joy for the whole family." -2013
“It was a difficult time. Dad was married to Heather and we didn’t get on. I don’t have a problem with Heather now because she is Beatrice’s mum but at the time it was difficult for me, I was so into Kurt Cobain and this mentality so I didn’t really like her. It was very difficult, I had my own issues." -2013
“I never see Heather but if I ever did see her I would have full respect because she is Beatrice’s mother” -2013

Heather the Gold-Digger
A very popular claim that Heather received the moment it was announced that she and Paul were officially a couple and it has been labeled on her to this very day. When Paul married Heather, he did not draw up a prenup. There's conflicting reports that she requested a prenup and he said no while Paul wanted one but Heather refused- I'll just leave that alone because who knows (however I will point out that Paul never denied Heather's claim) the real truth? Only Paul and Heather do. Anyway I don't want to be in this area for long other than this part: When Paul and Heather divorced, he had to pay her $42+ million after 4-6 years of marriage. However that payout was an one-time payment, there's no annual alimony. What is annual is the child support that Paul is paying to Heather monthly until Beatrice turns 18. Once Beatrice turns 18, that's it- Heather wouldn't be getting anymore child support checks. Personally if I think she's a gold-digger, then I would think Heather would've gotten an annual alimony monthly payments that cost enough to buy a planet out in outer space. Heather claimed that her divorce money mostly went into her V-Bites restaurant investment and barely has any left. I'm sure the child support payments to help some costs but other than that, Heather has a food empire with Redwood/V-Bites franchise and being trained to compete for the Paraplegic Winter Olympics of skiing. Heather is also currently involved with a man who work(ed?) as a bartender and pool boy at a hotel- not exactly a huge money-maker paying job. Besides, I was never really worried about Paul's bank account- he seemed to have a type of account that once you withdraw money, it would instantly fill up from a CD sale or a ticket sold.
Paul flashing the Wings' band logo while promoting "Wingspan"
No Linda Allowed?
According to a recent article in The Guardian (2013) for an interview with Paul, it mentioned that Heather didn't allow Paul to sing any songs that were written for or even talk about Linda. I call that bull-crap. In 2001, Paul released a documentary about his band he had with Linda, Wingspan, as well as a greatest hits C.D. where he spoke plenty about Linda in both the documentary (interviewed by his daughter Mary) and promoting with interviews. Heather was even thanked on the DVD sleeve. As for the concerts, I personally have seen Paul twice while he was with Heather and yes, Paul did indeed sing songs that were written for Linda- My Love, Maybe I'm Amazed, Calico Skies- as well as the songs he wrote with Linda- Live and Let Die, Jet, Band on the Run.
Granted, I don't know what Heather really thought of Linda privately. All I could really say was that Heather did spoke highly of Linda, complimenting her. Of course it could've been all talk and in truth be the opposite but I haven't really found anything other than unreliable "sources" that tend to exaggerate. As the saying goes: don't believe in everything you read when it comes to entertainment media. Honestly, I did and still do felt sorry for Heather for being the next woman after Linda, who left being huge shoes that was difficult to fill. I'm sure if it was Nancy who was the next woman instead of Heather, she would've have had a difficult time herself as well. 
Post Divorce
Heather is currently involved with Jamie Walker while Paul remarried to Nancy Shevell in 2011. They had moved on from their divorce and share custody of Beatrice. From the moment they separated, it seemed like the custody situation with Beatrice had been settled very quickly. Although Heather is the main carer, Paul has equal quality time with their little girl. I remember for the longest time that it was one week with one parent and the next week with the other- I'm sure it's the same to this day as I haven't heard anything different. When Heather has Beatrice, Paul takes that time to do his performances out of the country (but Beatrice has accompanied him from time to time to his concerts). But when he's with Beatrice, then he's with Beatrice: he doesn't want to be on the road. There's never been a custody fight drama or anything- Paul and Heather seem to be on the same wavelength as parents and work together to be sure that their daughter is happy and well taken care of. I wouldn't say that Paul and Heather are friends but since their divorce came final there's been no drama between the two- no money issues, no custody issues, nothing. It's been peaceful between Paul and Heather as far as I know. 
My conclusion is that Paul and Heather weren't better off as a couple, much less married. Maybe a fling with a child but not a long term permanent family lifestyle. While the majority of the fans and media claim that it was a dark time, a mistake, anything to bring down the relationship- perhaps they are right. However sometimes you have to go through the dark times to get to the light of the tunnel. People tend to forget that Paul McCartney the legend who could do no wrong is actually a human being just like me and you the reader of this blog who makes mistakes. I certainly have had my fair share of falling in love with the wrong man but I don't disown it. I learn from it instead and that's what I strongly believe that Paul has been doing when it comes to Heather Mills. It's life and life has ups and downs.

Monday, June 24, 2013

That Southern (Un)Charm

It's all over the media- Twitter, Facebook, forums, blogs, etc. regarding Paula Deen's past slur (mainly the "n" word) from a lawsuit filed by a woman against her and her brother's restaurant. I'm actually pretty vague about the details other than hearing that the Food Network, QVC, and some other companies that Paula is a spokeswoman firing her. I'm not exactly a fan of hers and it's not because she used the "n" word- although I'm not surprised either. I did give her a chance years ago as she was a very popular on the Food network but she didn't charm me. So I carried on with the cooking shows that I do enjoy. I would usually tolerate her whenever she appeared on my shows (including Top Chef when she did come on) but that's enough I can take. I've seen her battle with Cat Cora on Iron Chef America with the battle Sugar- a perfect vehicle for her as she's known for her sweet and fatty tooth. Of course she and Cat won the battle.
I think her high empire started to unravel when it was revealed that Paula was diagnosed with diabetes. Her dishes were greatly scrutinized (one in particular was making a doughnut sandwich with a fried egg and bacon and so on that would make you not only gain 50 pounds but also cavities popping everywhere in your teeth by just hearing about it) and critics got louder, coming out of the woodwork. She also got Anthony Bourdain on her tail. Paula swore that she would make her dishes more healthier and be dedicated as a spokeswoman for diabetes, promote a healthier lifestyle. She also lost some pounds.
Now the old timer Southern that slurs is getting herself into hot water yet again.  

Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Mirror of Yourself

You look in the mirror
do you sense fear?
How do you really know if you are happy?
From not being too sappy
what is your reflection trying to tell you?
Look at your face, you are turning blue
you are hiding something from me
trying not to let anyone see
You are like a balloon floating with no air
having reasons that does not seem fair
A haunting feeling that eased into your mind
the troubles are making you blind
All you want to do is to disappear
do you ever look at your true self in the mirror?

Originally written in 2000, revised in 2002

Rose Petals

Rose petals
wilting in the meadows
feeling beautiful
long and willow
leaves feeling like lace

Rose petals
feeling like silk
blossoming to the sun
closing at night
the smell of fresh

Rose petals
alive for a long time
peeling near death
gentle to the touch
embracing the rain

Rose petals

Originally written in 2001

It Seems to Be

I try to reach you every hour
our bond is losing power
You keep disappearing away
I have no idea what to say
Only out of the blue
I hear from you
But it seems that you are pulling away
you want to go our own separate way
I keep pinching myself, hoping that it's a dream
While now I'm getting used to talking to your answering machine
It seems that you have nothing to do with me
the reasons are not hard to see
You are not there when I need you the most
you are beginning to be like a ghost
You are the same person, but different
you are making me feel like I'm not important
I feel like I can not trust you anymore
you never acted this way before
I do understand your point of view
but I just can not be able to reach you
You are a wonderful generous person
I only can't seem to get your attention
It seems to be that you want to change
not letting us know that you rearrange
for another life to enter
putting someone else in the center
nevermind the pain that you made
to the unknown future that you laid
It seems to be
that you moved on without me

But now you are back
we could all relax
I know that you are in pain
he broke away from your chain
but having you back in our arms
bringing back the familiar charms
All of us are happy for you
this can't be true!

Originally written in 2000 and revised in 2002
Dedicated to my Grandmother; she had broken up with her long-time boyfriend for another man and I was not used to the attention she would normally showered on me that was going to someone else. This man was a complete stranger to me (although he had been in my Grandmother's life off and on for many years). The relationship did not last long and I even had the guts to read her this poem not long after. She told me that it was indeed true and confessed that if her then boyfriend wanted her to live in another state and not keep in touch with her family she would've done it. That really did hurt to hear her say that...Anyway, she died in 2006

In a Brief Moment

When I first saw you
to be honest
I was not interested
not giving you a second thought

Until one day
I thought about you
you popped into my thoughts
they became more frequent

You grew on me
I realized my feelings grew
I became attracted to you
you were adorable

I was so scared to talk toyou
I did not know what to say
you seemed larger than life
yet you have a gentle soul

I wanted you to know that I exist
so I took the first step
using whatever came to mind
I was so nervous

I got my wish
my plan worked
you noticed me
I existed in your eyes

I liked you a lot
I wanted to take things slow
I learned a lot from my past mistakes
because you were special to me

I thought about you everyday
you made me so happy
in a dream
in a brief moment

We got along so well
a smile was made
down in our crossed paths
I fell in love

One day I discovered the truth
about your relationship status
it was devastating
it hurt

I had my head in the clouds
all of the sudden
I came crashing down to the ground
back to reality

I do not blame you
actually I am happy for you
you deserve a girlfriend
I am upset that it wasn't me

Originally written in 2002

Saturday, June 1, 2013

RIP Beatles' Kids' Site

The Beatles Children:
Heather McCartney
Julian Lennon
Zak Starkey
Jason Starkey
Mary McCartney
Lee Starkey
Stella McCartney
Sean Lennon
James McCartney
Dhani Harrison
Beatrice McCartney

In the beginning of May, I felt that it was the right opportunity to update one of my websites, The Beatles' Children. First I made a visit to the Gallery where I uploaded a number of photos and then it was time to deal with the written information of the site (which was based in another location). At first I was having trouble getting in with the password. I've tried my first usual passwords but couldn't get in. So I did the next step- Help! I forgot my password! Well I had to make a new one, so I did just that. Then I got in! Yay! Time to go to wo-- huh? Where's my site???? The message I got was that it was removed and been banned. If you click on the link ( you will read a message that the site was permanently removed.
For the record: I did not remove it myself!
Of course I would have preferred to do that myself when I felt that the time was right for whatever reason. However my original plan was to keep up with the site as far as I could go and let it be up forever and ever even after I'm dead.
I do have 2 suspected theories of why my site disappeared
1) my problems with the password; perhaps Tripod thought something worst was going on and decided to kill off my site
2) someone reported it that was strong enough to have it go "poof" disappear.
As for #2, I have no proof, I received no email indicating that something was wrong or someone was not happy. For the most part, I've gotten many great reviews over the years- I know it's usually the Go-to place for Beatles' fans as well as Julian, Stella, etc fans could go to for whatever information or picture they wanted.

Will I bring the site back?
To tell you the truth, I have no answer for this. I've thought about it and I'm still thinking about it. So far I've settled on "no but never say never".
With the site, there were 10 people plus a few extras with the Step-Children that I had to keep tabs on with news and such things to keep up with their Biographies. That's a LOT of people! Not too mention that I have 3 other sites to take care of (although 1 of them is pretty much set for life except with an update here and there- Cyn & Mo; Mexican Beauty: Olivia Harrison and Enchanting Isabel Gillies get updated whenever the two ladies go out to do something that'll make me get busy).
I would also have to start from scratch. Unfortunately I did not save everything from the site. I could maybe savage a few things but there's quite a number of information that I never kept a record of to keep. I honestly thought that the information would be safe where it was- on the site online. I never ever dreamed that one day my site would disappear on me! There were also some information that was hard to get and in some unknown whereabouts because I don't remember which source it came from, etc. I have SO much Beatles stuff that it's really hard to keep track!

But I'm still very much involved with the Beatles' Children in other ways:
Children of the Beatles Facebook
Beatles' Children Yahoo Group
Mary McCartney Photography

Thursday, May 23, 2013

I Don't Like Pink Floyd

I must be one of the very few people on Earth who does not like Pink Floyd. At first I thought I was the only one but I did manage find someone else who doesn't like the rock band so it's very comforting that I'm not alone in this.
I can tolerate 2 songs: Money and We Don't Need No Education
Other than that, no thanks.
One time when I was a teenager, my Mom and I used to go to these laser shows at the Planetarium where they played rock music- they've had Queen, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, the greats! This is when I realized I didn't like Pink Floyd. When they did a Pink Floyd night my mom likes them a lot and at the time I thought they were okay so while the show was happening I found myself dozing off. I've never dozed off at a laser show! I'm usually the one that's singing and seat-dancing! But not this time. Zzzzzzzzz
I remember telling my boss that I didn't like Pink Floyd and he looked at me as though I came from another planet and thought I was nuts. He pointed out that they had some sort of connection with the Beatles by playing in Abbey Road Studios and having George Martin as a Producer. So? A lot of music have been recorded at Abbey Road and George Martin worked with a lot of musicians (and comedians) so what's the point? I am also aware that the members of the band are friends with The Beatles; even one of the members owns Julian Lennon's Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds drawing. Sure that's impressive, but the music still doesn't sway me.
Although here's one cute brief story: when I was around 10 years old I was in a wedding party and we were discussing Pink Floyd and, being naive and not knowing much about the band, I asked "what were his parents names? Red and White?"

Driving Pet Peeves

Here's a very honest confession: I didn't start driving until I was 22 years old. Not 16, like a normal teenager would be. I never even sneaked out and "borrowed" my mom's car for the night! However I did have my reasons at the time and to this day I stand by those reasons, while my family thought that I was an odd duck (or a black sheep?) as they couldn't wait to drive and did some sneaking going around. I'm pretty positive that my family wondered if I was biologically part of the family or if I belong in a mental institution.
My two main reasons:
1) My first "love" (another honest confession: my first 'love' and I were never a couple- by the time we started to talk, school was getting out for good and we were both to go to different high schools so our chance of being together never happened but boy oh boy, was I crazy about him!) died in a car accident in 1998. He had a car with a sunroof and when he maneuvered from another earlier accident, he lost control of his car. He wasn't wearing a seat belt and practically flew out of his sunroof while his car was tumbling around itself. He had two other girls with him- one girl also wasn't wearing a seat-belt and both of them died while the other girl wore hers and survived. Not a pretty death (then again, what death is pretty?). He was 17 years old. We hadn't been in touch for a few years and I heard about it from a friend who told me it was in the paper. Of course I went digging for the newspapers and found it. I still have the print out of the article in my high school scrapbook. Message: Always wear your seat-belt!
Note: In this blog, there's quite a few poems dedicated to him 

2) When my family were at the age of learning to drive and such, they lived in small quiet communities. Me? Not so much! Just down the road is a very busy street. It's not like a simple town, no, it's practically a city! So many fast automobiles that it just terrified me. I live in an area that you would have to be on your toes and be alert at all times.
I remember explaining this to my Grandmother and I guess she finally understood it, especially after the experience of tense driving in another busy city where I lived for 2 years for college.
Last year I found out that my Mom's cousin also took a long time to get a driver's license herself at my age (22) but her reasoning was that she did NOT like to drive in the snow. She's terrified and even to this day she refuses to drive in snow. She'll drive in rain, sunshine, but not snow. At least it's nice for me to know that I was not alone in getting my driver's license in my 20s rather than 16.

Now for my pet peeves...
1) I would be minding my own business, concentrating on where I was going and all of the sudden from the corner of my eye I would see a car (truck or whatever) coming right at me on the side! Scary, right? Except, the car would be on it's turning lane on the other side in the opposite direction and about to make a turn- either to a driveway of some building or a U-turn. I HATE THAT!!!!!!! Why couldn't the driver just wait 2 more seconds before start to go??? It would certainly ease my heart to rest rather than jumping into my throat and causing me to panic in fear that I'll get hit.

2) Speaking of being in a turning lane...I would be on there, waiting for my turn to go across the street in my car and wait and wait and wait...until some stupid impatient ass honks! It's one of those times when I wish my car can talk or flash a sign to say a few things like:
-Don't YOU see cars coming?
-Excuse me, but I don't want to DIE because of you or have my beautiful car injured because of your impatient ass
-If you don't like it, then go around and let's see how YOU manage
-I'm not a daredevil or Evel Knievel so shut the *blank* up
I do swear that if I'm ever in an accident because of some asshole honked at me, then I will make that person pay for the damages as well as my hospital bill because it would be on them.

Brown Eyes

When I look into your eyes
the ending never dies
Your brown eyes twinkle with delight
day or night
Your smile brightens up my day
even when you're working or at play
Your brown eyes flash a smile
I could see it from a mile
I never know what to say
everything goes away
You seem to understand
I try to do of what I can
Someday it's worth it to try
I see it in your brown eye
A beginning that never ends
the color that blends
The strong force looks from the eye
deep to the soul from a cry
seeing right through a person's mind
with fear and kind
When the tear dries
I can see your brown eyes

Originally written in 1999

My Love Will Be Gone Forever

I sit on my porch patio
watching the stars and the moon
above the sky
I keep thinking of all those special times
My mind keeps going to the good days
I wonder what kind of pain he went through
what kind of thinking that he must have thought
I stare to the bright lights
to the place where we met
the place that had a history of many unknowns
I feel my eyes fill with tears
The haunting feeling that's deep in my heart
I don't know how to live with this pain
He was so good to me in many ways
many ways for me not to forget him
I try to move on with my life
But there's something holding me back
holding me tight and never letting go
these memories will never leave
he will never come back alive
and I need to go on with my life
My heart needs to go on as well
he didn't deserve the torture he got
and I wanted him to have the best
a life that he belongs
A life that last a long time
but he will never get it now
My heart is broken
yet, it's full
filled with emotion of pride
thankful for the chance to know an angel

Originally written in 1999 and revised in 2002
Dedicated to David Alvarez, died in 1998

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


When we are apart
we are dysfunctional
When we are together
we are perfect

Originally written in 2004

Our Heart

You and me
we are joined together
by the heart
Our love is the glue
to keep us together

Originally written in 2003


Petals are soft on the touch
stroking on it's light feathers
wilting of the age
blooming to the sun
falling gently to the ground
Blossoming through the soil
the stem still standing
Leaves holding the need of water
Rain falls
Sun shine
petals fly in the air
leaves breeze against the wind
holding to the knitted web
Brightness shine as fire
growing beautiful
Night comes
petals release the perfume
Day of hot
Night of cold
passing through it's own life time

Originally written in 1999


But where?
Anywhere is possible
to find the answers that need to be solved
away from the hard hand
the hand that rules to the abusing fist
Run too fast, causing a rapid heart beat
carry the tradition to freedom
to find the way to explore a different situation
Reach high up to the Northern star
find a route to find the way home
save the sleepy hollow on to route
Hide when it is possible to escape
to the freedom
to be right
to the freedom
that is to be served
Find the way to express the right
keep the faith that has the right to take over
Fight for the feedom
fight to escape

Originally written in 2000

My Love For You

My love for you is not wrong
I know that my feelings are strong
You make me feel like a princess
seal with a loving kiss
My love for you is something so beautiful
you make my heart so full
I could see the future with my eye
with someone that I could pass by
My dream is in my love
flying with a white dove
My love for you is all I need
I will follow your lead
to grow up with you, young to old
our love would turn from diamond to gold
with a flow of blood and flesh of us
Companionship is full of trust
My eyes light up every time I see you
it shows my love for you
My love is deep into my heart
I can't stand being apart
Time will cast a spell
you will hear a bell
the sound of fate upon us in time and space
hand in hand with elegant grace
because only you is what I felt
your smile makes me melt
From thunder of a heartbeat
to create our own magical heat
My love will never stop
I'm strong, I do not drop
We are together for life
to be husband and wife
I love the sound of your voice
you are my beloved choice
My love for you is very understanding
the power is very demanding
I love you with all my might
I think about you, day and night
knowing that love is in the air
showing you how much I really care
I will forever be in love with you
I believe that my feelings are true
a special spirit is putting us together
everything will soon get better
There's hopes and dreams for us too
for my love for you

Originally written in 1998; revised in 2002

Friday, April 19, 2013

Jayne Mansfield with The Beatles

"John is very ingenious and funny...George is really great. So relaxed and polite. Ringo is adorable, very reserved. He doesn't say a word at all, unless it's something important. Paul and I couldn't meet each other, he lost all the joy..." -Jayne Mansfield

Ticket to Ride: Inside The Beatles’ 1964 &1965 Tours that Changed the World
By Larry Kane
(Larry Kane, a journalist, was traveling with The Beatles during their 1964 North American Tour, their second visit; they were in Los Angeles, California. The Beatles were fans of Jayne Mansfield’s film, The Girl Can’t Help It, released in 1956)
After a brief retreat to the bathroom, I returned as a spectator to the parade of arrivals…I tried to be nonchalant about the visitors, but it was difficult not to notice, especially when Jayne Mansfield walked in. Mansfield was a recognized star, a bona fide Sixties’ sex symbol who was greeted warmly and with some fanfare. She was also, to my surprise, a fanatic Beatles fan and an even bigger devotee of John Lennon
While Mansfield circulated, Lennon was in an anteroom near the big living room sitting on a sofa bed with a young lady…

Shortly after Lennon slugged Long John Wade (after misunderstanding a joke), he was introduced to Jayne Mansfield. It was lust at first sight. Lennon winked at me as he walked Mansfield through the room. He was pleased with himself, showing off a true American sex symbol. For her part, Mansfield was a charming, almost sweet person, whose cheesecake image may have belied a thoughtful human being. The two seemed to click, and as the party progressed late into the night, one thing was becoming clear: Mansfield wanted to see Lennon again. (She did, in grand and outrageous style, forty-eight hours later.)

(The next night) I reached the Owen mansion just in time to make the excursion. Jayne Mansfield was already at the house when I arrived. Lennon and Mansfield jumped into a police car, and John Wade, hardly shy, got in the car with them. George, Ringo, [Mal] Evans, [Neil] Aspinall jumped into another car. Paul stayed behind with his new friend, actress Peggy Lipton. The British reporters joined me in a cab. The driver was given the destination address- 8901 Sunset Boulevard.
The Whisky A Go-Go (now known as the Whisky) is a small Hollywood nightclub that has created big lore over the years…
The arrival of the small Beatles party was no surprise. Management had been tipped off, along with local radio stations. The place was packed. Jayne Mansfield and John Lennon, according to deejay Wade, arrived first after an interesting ride over. “They were making out like kids,” says Wade, who was riding with them, without his tape recorder. It seemed ironic that John, who had punched Wade earlier in the Hollywood visit, had had no qualms about his presence in the car.

(During the night, George threw his drink at a photographer but it landed on Mamie Van Doren. The photographer took the picture which appeared in the papers the next day) But the print press missed the real story: the budding friendship of Jayne Mansfield and John Lennon. After all, it was Jayne who had invited the band to the Whisky A Go-Go, and she sat with them most of the evening. What’s more, as the Beatles exited the club, Lennon and Mansfield were hand in hand. Near the rear door, a private security guard got between them, but Mansfield raced to rejoin John in the midst of the crush. In surging forward, the actress plowed into me, forcing my body into John’s, who was being pressed back into me by a zealous guard whose hands were wrapped around all of us. The surge to get out resembled a British soccer riot. But once we cleared the madness of the emergency door, we could breathe again, and I could only hope for no more freelance excursions by the Beatles.

Magical Mystery Tours: My Life with the Beatles
By Tony Bramwell
…Don [Arden] also looked after Jayne Mansfield. I was at the Savoy having a drink with Don and some of his lads when I glanced up and there she was in one of those famous crocheted dresses and big wigs. Evan in that sophisticated establishment, full of international stars, people were turning and staring and she smiled and glowed, doing a Monroe number. I think she was over to do the Batley Variety Club and Caeser’s Palace. I couldn’t imagine what she did onstage, but I presumed it was some kind of Marilyn Monroe, sex bomb “I wanna be loved by you” –type performance.
Jayne and Mickey Hargitay had already split up, so when she took a shine to me and came on over, I smiled back at her, all kinds of fantasies happening, when she suddenly produced a baby from almost thin air. She handed it to me and said sweetly, “You look a kind young man. Would you mind holding Mariska for me while I do a photo shoot?”
There I was, suave old me, sitting at the bar in the Savoy Hotel, a foggy day in London Town, raincoat over my shoulder, drinking a martini- and bouncing Jayne’s cute eighteen-month-old baby girl up and down and making goo-goo noises at her. Afterward, we all went off by taxi to Carnaby Street for a bit of shopping and some more drinks. A few months later Jayne was killed in a car crash. Her children, asleep in the back, survived. Mariska Hargitay grew up to become the beautiful detective from Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

Yeah Yeah Yeah! The Beatles: The Complete Story
From NME November 9, 1964 Archive (2013 UNCUT magazine)
Meanwhile, back at St. Pierre, John was receiving visitors like Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee. Then someone told him Jayne Mansfield had arrived. John helped himself to another drink and went through to meet the star.
"Why, it's the Jayne Mansfield," he greeted her. "And Mickey Hargitay, good to see you," he said turning to a man accompanying her.
"Oh silly," giggled Jayne. "Mickey's my ex, this is another friend."
An hour later, John left the house to join George and Ringo at the Whisky A Go Go, a swinging club on Sunset Strip. And there again was Jayne Mansfield. It was here that George flung the remains of his Scotch at a photographer who tried to take a picture of the three Beatles with Jayne Mansfield. She had summoned the cameraman over. No pictures had been the rule for the visit to the club, and George meant to enforce it- although the photographer got a better picture than he could ever have wished for. Within hours it was wired around the world.
Ten minutes after their arrival, there was chaos and John, George and Ringo decided to leave. They made their way back to St. Pierre to a police car and waved to the fans who had insisted on waiting all night. In the house, they slept. And for a few hours Hollywood rested too.

The Beatles' Anthology
"The Girl Can't Help It is still the great music film...Then Jayne Mansfield comes on and the game's over and the guy's glasses break. At the same time, Little Richard is singing 'The Girl Can't Help It' and then Eddie Cochran does Twenty Flight Rock'" -Paul McCartney

"We went to Los Angeles, where we stayed in a big old shady house in Bel Air. Somebody conned us into going to the Whisky A Go Go. It seemed to take us 20 minutes to get from the door to the table and instantly the whole of Hollywood paparazzi descended. It was a total set up by Jayne Mansfield to have pictures taken with us. John and I were sitting either side of her and she had her hands on our legs, by our groins- at least she did on mine. We'd been sitting there for hours, waiting to get a drink, we had glasses with ice in them, and the ice had all melted. A photographer came and tried to get a picture and I threw the glass of water at him. He took a photo of the water coming out of the glass and soaking accidently the actress Mamie Van Doren, who just happened to be passing. We got out of there, it was hell. We left town the next day and I remember sitting on the plane, reading the paper and there was the photo of me throwing the water." -George Harrison

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

15 Years Later- Linda McCartney

15 years ago today is the anniversary of the passing of Linda Louise Eastman See McCartney, the wife of former Beatle Paul McCartney.
I remember that day in 1998 clearly when I heard the news- I was 16 years old and was in a drive-thru of Taco Bell when we heard about it on the radio. Both of us went "aww" and then "wait a second, Paul's now single!" (I wonder how many Beatles' fans have thought of that?) It's not meant to be insensitive as we both knew our chances were laughable none. We then went to my Aunt's house for a little family gathering where we told them the news and most of them looked at my mother and said "So, Paul's now single, are you going to England?" I guess we weren't the only ones who thought that! All joking aside, it was a sad day.
I did like Linda, I still do. My birthday is a day after hers- which makes her exactly 40 years and 1 day older than me; we're both Libras so I have that kinda special connection with her. During the years that Linda lived in my lifetime, I could tell that Paul was deeply in love with her. I remember watching a tape of old Wings concert videos where Linda's keyboards were stationed right on Paul's left side and he would often turn to look at her, give a smile or making sure she was there and doing all right. Today, Linda's station on stage is now where Paul puts his grand piano. I do often wonder that whenever he looks back at that area and forgets but then remembers "oh yeah". Time to time since with his concerts I do catch him looking back there- maybe it's out of habit? Or maybe just checking out the rigs? I don't know since I'm not a musician but then again I'm sure he's looked over at his sides expecting to find John and George there (especially after the Beatles broke up and Paul went back to touring) time to time. I remember in Wingspan Paul told Mary that he always fearing being in another band that he'll look over and think "who the hell is that? Where am I???" and having Linda there was very comforting.
Because I knew that Paul was deeply in love with Linda, my 16 year old brain was worried about him. There were a few moments where I thought that he may commit suicide so he could join her or become very reclusive and spend his time watching the wallpaper peel off the walls. They spent only 9 days apart during their 30 years of being together (29 years of marriage) so perhaps the idea of continuing on with life without the love of his life would be unbearable. I know it sounds a bit over dramatic but again I was 16 and 16 year olds tend to be over dramatic! Thankfully Paul didn't go in that direction- he gave out a good cry for a year and went to the "woman" that had never abandon him: his music. He also fell in love and got married (twice) and became a father for the fifth time (I am not going to make this into a Heather Mills-Nancy Shevell post, this is all about Linda today) so I am glad that Paul managed to face life without Linda and move on. Linda is still all around him- he has friends that knew her well, he still keeps in touch with her family and her brother is one of his lawyers, there's also Wings and her photography that Paul continues to perform and use. He also continues her crusade of encouraging to go Veggie and save the animals. He also comforts himself knowing that Linda was a happy person while she was on Earth, she was a devoted wife and beloved mother. Her children still think about her to this day and she's woven into their jobs one way or another.

Rest in Peace Linda