Sunday, June 30, 2013

Heather Mills

It seems like if you are a Beatles fan, you have to hate Heather Mills. She is Paul McCartney's second wife and the mother of Beatrice; they divorced after 4-6 years of marriage (together for 4, separated for 2). From the start of their relationship, Heather was quickly labeled as a gold-digger and the age difference- by the time Heather was born, Paul was already an adult, famous, engaged to Jane Asher, and about to record the Beatles' White Album. On another hand, it was pretty divided about the fans' and media's feelings of Heather: you would either love her or hate her. Now, since their divorce, it's been majority of hate and if you do find someone who actually likes her then you may as well have found an Unicorn! Actually you may as well have because this Beatles fan actually doesn't hate Heather. I honestly don't mind her. I don't exactly love her but I don't hate her. I don't wish her death or ill or anything horrible happen to her. The same majority of fans would much prefer to believe that the marriage was a mistake and would rather forget that the marriage even existed. I suppose they also like to think that Beatrice is a motherless child who Paul is only partly raising.
Heather was also branded as a liar so what I'm going to do is use the stories that she's told in a repetitive matter (how she kept it the same over and over without changing anything- it's hard to lie when you keep telling the same story) and the people- especially Paul- who agree to the facts.
Marriage being a Mistake
It was in 1999 when Paul first met Heather at an awards show; Heather was there to present an award to a handicap woman without hands or legs while Paul was there to present a Linda McCartney award to some animal lover. Paul saw her, leaned in to a friend (Piers Morgan, who claims to have hooked them up and later regret it; however I don't think he necessary hooked them up as he claimed as even Heather said so. I've heard that Richard Branson had more of a hand into the hooking up than Piers did...well no matter the story, the point is this:) Paul had his eyes on Heather. He had recently became a widower almost a year after Linda, his beloved wife of 29 years, had died of breast cancer.
You could say that he was vulnerable. It's also mostly believed that Heather took advantage of that. I don't really believe that and here's why: both Paul and Heather have said that it was Paul who chased after Heather. Not the other way around. Also, as some people tend to forget, Paul is a type of man that needs a woman at his side 90% of the time. You can judge by his own track record
Let's start in 1959 as that's when Paul started having serious relationships:
Dot Rhone- 1959-1962*
Iris Caldwell- 1962-1963*
Jane Asher- 1963-1968*
Francie Schwartz- 1968
Linda Eastman McCartney- 1968-1998
Heather Mills McCartney- 1999-2006
Nancy Shevell McCartney- 2007- present
*Paul cheated on these women; Jane caught him in bed with Francie Schwartz that led to their breakup.
The longest loneliness gap that Paul has ever had as a single man was between Linda's death and meeting Heather. Between Heather and Nancy, Paul did date- I remember Sabrina Guiness (although I don't think it was very serious, more of casual dating). So from knowing that, Paul may be vulnerable, in grief, but I also strongly believed that he knew exactly what he was doing.
I was 16 when Linda died and in my teen-over-dramatic mind, I had terrifying visions of Paul morphing himself as a recluse who'll watch the wallpaper peel and the spiders taking over the household to even committing suicide as he couldn't live without the love of his life. Linda was at Paul's side 24/7 for their 30 years together with the exception of 11 days apart and they practically did everything together. So when Paul started to see Heather, I was happy for him. To this day, I believe that Heather helped Paul out of his grief to be able to live again. Although Paul has never stopped recording, he did stop touring in 1993 and not long after that Linda discovered the lump in her breast. It wasn't until 2002 that Paul started to tour again. He loves to tour! Honestly I think he'll be touring up until the day he dies. I think Heather helped boost Paul's energy and do other things. She opened his eyes to minefields while he opened her eyes to animal rights and cruelty which to this day Heather has been campaigning. How can I hate Heather for helping Paul out with his grief? Even Paul himself had said that...
Another thing to point out is that Heather does resemble Linda in some ways. Blonde hair, blue eyes, outspoken on their charities- I can see why Paul fell for Heather. Funny enough, their daughter Beatrice looks a lot like Stella (Paul and Linda's daughter)! And what's even funnier is that Stella was not at all a Heather fan. But more about that later...
I do believe that Paul genuinely fell in love with Heather as her own self. He went out of his way to help her with her charities and share his spot light with her ( many will say HOG the spotlight). I also believe that he did wanted the marriage to work.
In retrospect, yes I do think it was a mistake. Paul should've taken more time to grieve for Linda and not dive into a relationship a year after her death. I think the average is 4 years but to each your own and knowing Paul's record, I can't say I was surprised that he had a girlfriend a year later. I do think that Paul and Heather did have their happy times and yes, I do believe that Heather did love Paul as himself (I'm sure a lot will disagree with me but this is my opinion), I have seen pictures where they look like they are in love and happy with each other.
Paul was asked if he considered his failed marriage as a mistake:
"OK, yeah, I suppose that has to be the prime contender. But I don't wanna down anyone. These things happen, y'know? But I tend to look at the positive side, which is that I have another beautiful daughter out of it." -2009
I believe Paul is trying to look at his marriage to Heather as not a mistake as if he hadn't married her, then he wouldn't have had his little girl.
 Heather with Paul, his daughter Mary and grandson Arthur
Heather with Paul and Stella
The Big Kids vs. Heather
It's pretty common for the children from the first marriage that happened to be a love story wouldn't be too pleased about their father falling in love with another woman not long after their mother died. The children- Heather, Mary, Stella and James- were deeply grieving over the loss. I do know that Linda's death had hit them hard, even to this very day. 
Heather- it's hard to say on how she really felt about her stepmother who happened to have the same name. Heather started to shun the public eye, especially after her biological father Mel See committed suicide after less than a year after her mother died. Even to this day, Heather hasn't been seen in the public except for one time just a few years ago at the time of this writing. Some insiders have claimed that Heather didn't like Heather Mills at all. Meanwhile Heather Mills claimed that while she was with Paul, Heather called her an angel and they spoke everyday. While Paul and Heather were in the divorce court, it was said that for a while Paul and Heather were estranged and that Heather Mills helped repair their relationship. I think I will believe the court on this one over the insiders because in court, it's under oath- you can't lie. As far as I know, Heather Mills never spoke a mean word about her former stepdaughter, rather I have found the opposite and see a fondness that Heather Mills had for Heather. I also remember when Heather Mills was pregnant with Beatrice and appeared on Larry King Live and he mistakenly said that Paul was going to have 4 children and Heather quickly corrected Larry that Paul will have 5. So my take is that Heather did like her stepmother (of course I could be wrong but due to the lack of evidence, that's my conclusion until further notice). As for now? I don't know. 
Mary- I think Mary was uncomfortable but tried to give the effort to accept Heather as her stepmother. I'm sure it wasn't easy but at the time what choice did she really have?
"I did not want Dad to be alone. I didn't want him to be a widower. After all, at the end of the day, everyone wants everybody to be happy." -2004
Now, I don't know if Mary went to the wedding. At first it was reported that she did go but left early, then it was reported during Paul and Heather's divorce that Mary did not go to the wedding so with these conflicting reports it's hard to say for sure. However please realize that when Paul and Heather got married in June of 2002, Mary was heavily pregnant with her second child at the time so if she didn't go to the wedding or left early it could have been a greater chance that it could've been about her pregnancy. It's funny and strange that the media or the fans don't think about that. When Heather was pregnant with Beatrice the following year, it was said that the children weren't pleased with the news but Mary seemed to be the opposite
"I'm really pleased about it. It's great news and I'm looking forward to seeing the baby" -2003 just before Beatrice was born
After Paul and Heather separated, Mary, Stella and James especially stepped up and supported their father. Mary, especially, bonded with her father as they now had failed marriages in common.
"Me and Dad have a proper grown-up relationship now. I feel I was a kid for so long, but now we have both been through a lot. We're both divorc├ęs, for a start" -2008
It's not surprising that Paul and Heather's divorce was big news and Mary was asked about that. It appears that Mary had taken the high road.
"I knew her because they were married. But that's not really my relationship so I try to keep away from that in interviews and things. It is not my relationship. I knew her. You know, they were married and they have a lovely...I have a lovely little sister." -2010
Stella- Let's just safely say that of all kids, I'll say that if there's a leader of anti-Heather it would've been Stella. I'm sure Stella did give her effort to accept Heather as her stepmother, especially after she got married just before Beatrice was born. I recall that Stella cut her honeymoon short to come home after getting the news that Beatrice was born. Heather did attend a couple of Stella's fashion shows and they were together during the Concert for New York City in 2001 after the terrorist attacks of September 11th. During the divorce proceedings, all bets were off. Heather did come after Stella for wanting the family jewels and things like that so there's certainly no love between the two. 
James- This year he revealed that he didn't like Heather while she was with his dad. He was grieving over the loss of his mother, was suffering from depression and did his share of drugs. I don't think seeing his dad falling quickly in love and moving on with his life not long after didn't help- and I don't necessary think it's was completely Heather's fault 100% as James had his own issues to deal with. As for Heather, she hasn't said anything about James. As for now, James did admit that he does respect Heather as Beatrice's mother and seemed to be at peace, especially now that Paul is happily married and settled down with Nancy.
"My relationship with Heather was not very good. I didn’t like her. But I wouldn’t want to say anything negative about her because she’s a good mother to Beatrice and that’s the most important thing. Beatrice is adorable. She’s great, a real joy for the whole family." -2013
“It was a difficult time. Dad was married to Heather and we didn’t get on. I don’t have a problem with Heather now because she is Beatrice’s mum but at the time it was difficult for me, I was so into Kurt Cobain and this mentality so I didn’t really like her. It was very difficult, I had my own issues." -2013
“I never see Heather but if I ever did see her I would have full respect because she is Beatrice’s mother” -2013

Heather the Gold-Digger
A very popular claim that Heather received the moment it was announced that she and Paul were officially a couple and it has been labeled on her to this very day. When Paul married Heather, he did not draw up a prenup. There's conflicting reports that she requested a prenup and he said no while Paul wanted one but Heather refused- I'll just leave that alone because who knows (however I will point out that Paul never denied Heather's claim) the real truth? Only Paul and Heather do. Anyway I don't want to be in this area for long other than this part: When Paul and Heather divorced, he had to pay her $42+ million after 4-6 years of marriage. However that payout was an one-time payment, there's no annual alimony. What is annual is the child support that Paul is paying to Heather monthly until Beatrice turns 18. Once Beatrice turns 18, that's it- Heather wouldn't be getting anymore child support checks. Personally if I think she's a gold-digger, then I would think Heather would've gotten an annual alimony monthly payments that cost enough to buy a planet out in outer space. Heather claimed that her divorce money mostly went into her V-Bites restaurant investment and barely has any left. I'm sure the child support payments to help some costs but other than that, Heather has a food empire with Redwood/V-Bites franchise and being trained to compete for the Paraplegic Winter Olympics of skiing. Heather is also currently involved with a man who work(ed?) as a bartender and pool boy at a hotel- not exactly a huge money-maker paying job. Besides, I was never really worried about Paul's bank account- he seemed to have a type of account that once you withdraw money, it would instantly fill up from a CD sale or a ticket sold.
Paul flashing the Wings' band logo while promoting "Wingspan"
No Linda Allowed?
According to a recent article in The Guardian (2013) for an interview with Paul, it mentioned that Heather didn't allow Paul to sing any songs that were written for or even talk about Linda. I call that bull-crap. In 2001, Paul released a documentary about his band he had with Linda, Wingspan, as well as a greatest hits C.D. where he spoke plenty about Linda in both the documentary (interviewed by his daughter Mary) and promoting with interviews. Heather was even thanked on the DVD sleeve. As for the concerts, I personally have seen Paul twice while he was with Heather and yes, Paul did indeed sing songs that were written for Linda- My Love, Maybe I'm Amazed, Calico Skies- as well as the songs he wrote with Linda- Live and Let Die, Jet, Band on the Run.
Granted, I don't know what Heather really thought of Linda privately. All I could really say was that Heather did spoke highly of Linda, complimenting her. Of course it could've been all talk and in truth be the opposite but I haven't really found anything other than unreliable "sources" that tend to exaggerate. As the saying goes: don't believe in everything you read when it comes to entertainment media. Honestly, I did and still do felt sorry for Heather for being the next woman after Linda, who left being huge shoes that was difficult to fill. I'm sure if it was Nancy who was the next woman instead of Heather, she would've have had a difficult time herself as well. 
Post Divorce
Heather is currently involved with Jamie Walker while Paul remarried to Nancy Shevell in 2011. They had moved on from their divorce and share custody of Beatrice. From the moment they separated, it seemed like the custody situation with Beatrice had been settled very quickly. Although Heather is the main carer, Paul has equal quality time with their little girl. I remember for the longest time that it was one week with one parent and the next week with the other- I'm sure it's the same to this day as I haven't heard anything different. When Heather has Beatrice, Paul takes that time to do his performances out of the country (but Beatrice has accompanied him from time to time to his concerts). But when he's with Beatrice, then he's with Beatrice: he doesn't want to be on the road. There's never been a custody fight drama or anything- Paul and Heather seem to be on the same wavelength as parents and work together to be sure that their daughter is happy and well taken care of. I wouldn't say that Paul and Heather are friends but since their divorce came final there's been no drama between the two- no money issues, no custody issues, nothing. It's been peaceful between Paul and Heather as far as I know. 
My conclusion is that Paul and Heather weren't better off as a couple, much less married. Maybe a fling with a child but not a long term permanent family lifestyle. While the majority of the fans and media claim that it was a dark time, a mistake, anything to bring down the relationship- perhaps they are right. However sometimes you have to go through the dark times to get to the light of the tunnel. People tend to forget that Paul McCartney the legend who could do no wrong is actually a human being just like me and you the reader of this blog who makes mistakes. I certainly have had my fair share of falling in love with the wrong man but I don't disown it. I learn from it instead and that's what I strongly believe that Paul has been doing when it comes to Heather Mills. It's life and life has ups and downs.

Monday, June 24, 2013

That Southern (Un)Charm

It's all over the media- Twitter, Facebook, forums, blogs, etc. regarding Paula Deen's past slur (mainly the "n" word) from a lawsuit filed by a woman against her and her brother's restaurant. I'm actually pretty vague about the details other than hearing that the Food Network, QVC, and some other companies that Paula is a spokeswoman firing her. I'm not exactly a fan of hers and it's not because she used the "n" word- although I'm not surprised either. I did give her a chance years ago as she was a very popular on the Food network but she didn't charm me. So I carried on with the cooking shows that I do enjoy. I would usually tolerate her whenever she appeared on my shows (including Top Chef when she did come on) but that's enough I can take. I've seen her battle with Cat Cora on Iron Chef America with the battle Sugar- a perfect vehicle for her as she's known for her sweet and fatty tooth. Of course she and Cat won the battle.
I think her high empire started to unravel when it was revealed that Paula was diagnosed with diabetes. Her dishes were greatly scrutinized (one in particular was making a doughnut sandwich with a fried egg and bacon and so on that would make you not only gain 50 pounds but also cavities popping everywhere in your teeth by just hearing about it) and critics got louder, coming out of the woodwork. She also got Anthony Bourdain on her tail. Paula swore that she would make her dishes more healthier and be dedicated as a spokeswoman for diabetes, promote a healthier lifestyle. She also lost some pounds.
Now the old timer Southern that slurs is getting herself into hot water yet again.  

Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Mirror of Yourself

You look in the mirror
do you sense fear?
How do you really know if you are happy?
From not being too sappy
what is your reflection trying to tell you?
Look at your face, you are turning blue
you are hiding something from me
trying not to let anyone see
You are like a balloon floating with no air
having reasons that does not seem fair
A haunting feeling that eased into your mind
the troubles are making you blind
All you want to do is to disappear
do you ever look at your true self in the mirror?

Originally written in 2000, revised in 2002

Rose Petals

Rose petals
wilting in the meadows
feeling beautiful
long and willow
leaves feeling like lace

Rose petals
feeling like silk
blossoming to the sun
closing at night
the smell of fresh

Rose petals
alive for a long time
peeling near death
gentle to the touch
embracing the rain

Rose petals

Originally written in 2001

It Seems to Be

I try to reach you every hour
our bond is losing power
You keep disappearing away
I have no idea what to say
Only out of the blue
I hear from you
But it seems that you are pulling away
you want to go our own separate way
I keep pinching myself, hoping that it's a dream
While now I'm getting used to talking to your answering machine
It seems that you have nothing to do with me
the reasons are not hard to see
You are not there when I need you the most
you are beginning to be like a ghost
You are the same person, but different
you are making me feel like I'm not important
I feel like I can not trust you anymore
you never acted this way before
I do understand your point of view
but I just can not be able to reach you
You are a wonderful generous person
I only can't seem to get your attention
It seems to be that you want to change
not letting us know that you rearrange
for another life to enter
putting someone else in the center
nevermind the pain that you made
to the unknown future that you laid
It seems to be
that you moved on without me

But now you are back
we could all relax
I know that you are in pain
he broke away from your chain
but having you back in our arms
bringing back the familiar charms
All of us are happy for you
this can't be true!

Originally written in 2000 and revised in 2002
Dedicated to my Grandmother; she had broken up with her long-time boyfriend for another man and I was not used to the attention she would normally showered on me that was going to someone else. This man was a complete stranger to me (although he had been in my Grandmother's life off and on for many years). The relationship did not last long and I even had the guts to read her this poem not long after. She told me that it was indeed true and confessed that if her then boyfriend wanted her to live in another state and not keep in touch with her family she would've done it. That really did hurt to hear her say that...Anyway, she died in 2006

In a Brief Moment

When I first saw you
to be honest
I was not interested
not giving you a second thought

Until one day
I thought about you
you popped into my thoughts
they became more frequent

You grew on me
I realized my feelings grew
I became attracted to you
you were adorable

I was so scared to talk toyou
I did not know what to say
you seemed larger than life
yet you have a gentle soul

I wanted you to know that I exist
so I took the first step
using whatever came to mind
I was so nervous

I got my wish
my plan worked
you noticed me
I existed in your eyes

I liked you a lot
I wanted to take things slow
I learned a lot from my past mistakes
because you were special to me

I thought about you everyday
you made me so happy
in a dream
in a brief moment

We got along so well
a smile was made
down in our crossed paths
I fell in love

One day I discovered the truth
about your relationship status
it was devastating
it hurt

I had my head in the clouds
all of the sudden
I came crashing down to the ground
back to reality

I do not blame you
actually I am happy for you
you deserve a girlfriend
I am upset that it wasn't me

Originally written in 2002

Saturday, June 1, 2013

RIP Beatles' Kids' Site

The Beatles Children:
Heather McCartney
Julian Lennon
Zak Starkey
Jason Starkey
Mary McCartney
Lee Starkey
Stella McCartney
Sean Lennon
James McCartney
Dhani Harrison
Beatrice McCartney

In the beginning of May, I felt that it was the right opportunity to update one of my websites, The Beatles' Children. First I made a visit to the Gallery where I uploaded a number of photos and then it was time to deal with the written information of the site (which was based in another location). At first I was having trouble getting in with the password. I've tried my first usual passwords but couldn't get in. So I did the next step- Help! I forgot my password! Well I had to make a new one, so I did just that. Then I got in! Yay! Time to go to wo-- huh? Where's my site???? The message I got was that it was removed and been banned. If you click on the link ( you will read a message that the site was permanently removed.
For the record: I did not remove it myself!
Of course I would have preferred to do that myself when I felt that the time was right for whatever reason. However my original plan was to keep up with the site as far as I could go and let it be up forever and ever even after I'm dead.
I do have 2 suspected theories of why my site disappeared
1) my problems with the password; perhaps Tripod thought something worst was going on and decided to kill off my site
2) someone reported it that was strong enough to have it go "poof" disappear.
As for #2, I have no proof, I received no email indicating that something was wrong or someone was not happy. For the most part, I've gotten many great reviews over the years- I know it's usually the Go-to place for Beatles' fans as well as Julian, Stella, etc fans could go to for whatever information or picture they wanted.

Will I bring the site back?
To tell you the truth, I have no answer for this. I've thought about it and I'm still thinking about it. So far I've settled on "no but never say never".
With the site, there were 10 people plus a few extras with the Step-Children that I had to keep tabs on with news and such things to keep up with their Biographies. That's a LOT of people! Not too mention that I have 3 other sites to take care of (although 1 of them is pretty much set for life except with an update here and there- Cyn & Mo; Mexican Beauty: Olivia Harrison and Enchanting Isabel Gillies get updated whenever the two ladies go out to do something that'll make me get busy).
I would also have to start from scratch. Unfortunately I did not save everything from the site. I could maybe savage a few things but there's quite a number of information that I never kept a record of to keep. I honestly thought that the information would be safe where it was- on the site online. I never ever dreamed that one day my site would disappear on me! There were also some information that was hard to get and in some unknown whereabouts because I don't remember which source it came from, etc. I have SO much Beatles stuff that it's really hard to keep track!

But I'm still very much involved with the Beatles' Children in other ways:
Children of the Beatles Facebook
Beatles' Children Yahoo Group
Mary McCartney Photography